"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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It's a trap! Or maybe not...

Mr. Goods

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About a year and a half ago, I was pursuing a gorgeous HB 8.5 at my college. We shared some classes together, had similar interests and got along well. However, nothing worked out. She flaked on me twice and that was that. I had always initiated the interaction as well. So I moved on.

Since then, I haven't really seen her much and have not spoken with her. Two months ago, I graduated. So you can imagine the shock I get when I woke up today, opened up my e-mail and saw this:

"Hey I was thinking about you the other day, how's everything? Are you in (city near where our college is)? If so, we should totally hang out."

My initial reaction: :eek: :confused: I don't know what to make of this. The message itself is obviously straightforward, but the circumstances surrounding it - the flaking 1 1/2 years ago, we haven't kept in touch at all - make it curious. Is this genuine, or just her seeking attention? I do not want to get sucked into a trap here (as the thread title indicates).

There is a chance I am back in my "college city" in a few weeks to visit a friend, so there is that chance I'd be in the area. What should I try to do in regard to a response?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Mr. Goods

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Nothing?

I realize her e-mail is straightforward and appears to be good. However, this raises some questions as well, questions I brought up earlier and need your insight on.

I appreciate any help. I have not been in this situation before and don't want to do the incorrect thing.
 

Joe Stud

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text her 1 word: "maybe". then if she texts back, dont respond for 2 days. then again, 1 or 2 words. shows disinterest, and aloofness. thats what she needs
 

prairiedog24

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I tend to thing these things are more or less genuine, but not as deep as us guys like to consider them. I.e., they're an invitation for a 2nd chance, but it doesn't mean much more than that her other options were fizzing out and she's curious if you've improved into something she's interested in.

I, however, am more or less a failure on the female front very recently, so while I'm happy to provide a neutral perspective, take it with a grain of salt. lol
 

boomerick

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Hows about Direct Technique:

Ask her --- " Do you want to f*ck me? Do you just want a free dinner? Are you just trying to make your boyfriend jealous? Are you rebounding from being dumped and need a self esteam boost? Have you gained 30 pounds and are now undesireable?" OR......

Think about the place you would have to be in mentally to contact a girl one and a half years after ignoring her.....

Wait a minute....the reason may actually be up in my first paragraph which started off as a joke.....

This situation does seem VERY uncommon ....BUT...if you dig the chick feel her out a little, get way more info about her than you give out about yourself.....

If she's not a complete headcase I'd game her as if your previous deal never happened....

However....I think your gonna find one of the options in my first paragraph is unfortunately applicible....

Hope not but people change....and not necessarily for the better ....good luck...

Over and Out.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Poonani Maker

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Look, do you want to fvck her or don't you? Just take her up on her offer. Kino asap and fvck her.
 

Mr. Goods

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boomerick said:
Hows about Direct Technique: Ask her --- " Do you want to f*ck me? Do you just want a free dinner? Are you just trying to make your boyfriend jealous? Are you rebounding from being dumped and need a self esteam boost? Have you gained 30 pounds and are now undesireable?" OR......
LOL. When she responds to what I wrote to her (which was nothing too special), maybe I'll hit her with that. Your post is good though. Very likely, this could be among her plans. But it's strange - I don't even live where I attended college and it's been a year and a half. She'd try to manipulate me even then?

These days, I'm probably overly patient with committing to something. A year and half ago, I'd plunge head-first into something and occasionally get burned. Now, I'll be the unassuming, go-with-the-flow guy, but when she slips up, BAM! I use that mistake to my advantage (when it's necessary).

Poonani Maker - Obviously will do. Right now, I'm a few hours away from where we went to college, so I can't do that quiet yet.
 

Mr. Goods

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Apologies for bringing up a "dead" thread here, but there has been a frustrating update to this situation.

One of my best friends from college is still near the campus, and he knows some of HB 8.5's friends. Apparently, my friend did not think this situation added up and went to investigate. He was out for drinks with a group after a project they were working on, one of the girls in the group being HB 8.5's good friend. After becoming tipsy, she revealed that..........the message wasn't serious! Apparently, HB 8.5 and a guy friend of hers sent me the message just for fun.

Obviously, HB 8.5 and her guy friend do not think much of me. I know this also because the two of them recently were talking about me on Facebook and how, "Mr. Goods even has a job" after college (the guy wrote the line to her).

Not much serious consequence comes from this. I am several hours away and likely won't see her again, so that's fine (if I do though, :trouble: ). If anything, I am annoyed. I may vent at some point in the future, but once again, a girl SAYS and INITIATES to me that she wants to hang out, yet doesn't actually mean it.
 
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CaptainJ

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Wow, what a b1tch. I would just respond with a simple curt "Nah thanks, you're not my type"
 

YoungHOV

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Mr. Goods said:
Apologies for bringing up a "dead" thread here, but there has been
Obviously, HB 8.5 and her guy friend do not think much of me. I know this also because the two of them recently were talking about me on Facebook and how, "Mr. Goods even has a job" after college (the guy wrote the line to her).
OH NO! You have a job! If they're mocking you for that, it is they that are the losers, not you.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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HolyG

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do not respond to that message if you still havent

If you're Facebook friends, allow her the pleasure of seeing many flirty new girls posting on your wall
 

MyTeamSupreme

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She probably expected for you to chase after her...Im sure she was surprised when you didnt make a 3rd attempt...My guess is that she waited for a third call that never came and then finally cracked under the pressure
 

909pua

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Poonani Maker said:
Look, do you want to fvck her or don't you? Just take her up on her offer. Kino asap and fvck her.

I agree with Poonani, Just take her up on her offer an fvck her. She's testing to see if you are a real man. Drop all the pride and go to home run. That's what I would do.

But I would be very careful. Dont reply right away, give it about a day and reply back and make up some BS that you were busy with some friends, you were out having fun and you didn;t have time to reply to her. You dont want to give her the impression you were waiting on her .
 

Mr. Goods

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909pua said:
I agree with Poonani, Just take her up on her offer an fvck her. She's testing to see if you are a real man. Drop all the pride and go to home run. That's what I would do.
My update post (#8 in this thread ^^^), unfortunately, puts the kibosh on this situation. Why this whole thing would happen is really puzzling. While there is no consequence for me, it is annoying.
 

everywomanshero

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OP

You sound paranoid... imagining that people are settings "traps" for you? I doubt most people put that much thought into an email bro.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Mr. Goods

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everywomanshero said:
OP

You sound paranoid... imagining that people are settings "traps" for you? I doubt most people put that much thought into an email bro.
I don't seriously think it's a trap...it's the line from Star Wars :yes: when something seems fishy. And if you read my update, my hunch was correct; something wasn't right in all of this.
 

BritBoy

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Feel for you my friend. Just goes to show, not everyone is decent, even an 8.5 or higher! Sometimes we forget that when we are gaming that perhaps they are totally not worth our time at all.
 
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