It really is all about confidence.

[killahpl]

For those of you who have read 'The Game', you might remember the bit where Strauss talks to that Eric Weber guy, and the guy says something to the effect, "sometimes the best you can do is pretend you've got confidence."

Funny how that works, I remember a couple of years ago when I was in my ultimate AFC mode, I was running circles around this girl, being her "friend", listening to her problems, without really doing any kind of moves on her.

Well, in a moment of desperation I just went full retard on her and spilled all the beans, how much I liked her, how much I thought she was too good for me but that I still had to try, etc. She said many things in response to that, most of them not being what I wanted to hear, but the one thing she said that stuck out in my mind and baffled me was, "wow, you come across as one of the most confident guys at our university; I just thought you weren't interested in me that way."

The thing is, I could've had this girl back then if only I had just made some kind of a move. Well now, having read up on the PUA/DJ stuff, I sometimes surprise myself at the things I'll say to her or text her, only this time I know that a move to move things to a physical level is both crucial and a natural extension of being confident, i.e. you can say some of the most outrageous stuff to a girl and get away with it if you're congruent, but it all means squatola if there's no kiss attempt, etc.

Just unloading some stuff from my own mind, thought organisation, etc. Feel free to ignore.

 

[Isko]

Yeah man, confidence is more about having the balls to take it to where you want it to be. As in, if you want to be kissing her, try to kiss her and let her be the one to say no. Good post

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I agree 100% with its all about confidence. But I dont think you can fake it. Eventually there will come a point where you will start to exhibit signs of not being confident. I mean sure faking confidence can work, but only short term. At some point she will see that you aren't as confident with yourself as you try to seem.

I used to fake my confidence, put on a show you could say. And yeah it did work to pick up chicks, but after, things never really materialized, although I was AFC at the time so thats part of it haha. But I do think it's something you need to work on your Inner game first to really get the true effect.

 

[Furyguy]

Two summers ago I was in the exact same situation you're in. Girl best friend, hung out all the time, talked about our 'problems' and all that ****.

Well naturally I developed a crush on this girl. This was a couple months after I found this place, so I knew what I had to do. Rather than spilling my feelings to her like I had always done my life, I grabbed her and kissed her.

Well, I tried to at least, but she stopped me. But it didn't matter, because I felt great for trying anyways.

And then in the end it really didn't matter, because the next day she came around and it ended up turning into a really fun relationship. She said it was the most ballsy thing anyone had ever tried on her. I'm pretty sure I just took her by surprise and she had no idea how to handle it. Funny thing is though, a lot of the time girls have absolutely NO idea you are interested in them. (I am talking more about friends/acquaintances than a random chick you meet in da club.)

Anyways I don't think this is really the topic you wanted to talk about here, but next time you get this chance, don't **** it up again. Just try ANYTHING. It's better than doing nothing. The old saying is true, you will feel much better for trying and failing than just not trying at all.

I tend to think that giving her a few hints as to 'how you feel' immediately AFTER you make the move is alright, so she doesn't feel like "WTF, this guy is supposed to be my friend and now he just wants to use me for sex?" I think a lot of girls in this situation would have to know it's about HER and not just about her puss*. Especially if you make it super-romantic

 

[DonutMan]

I agree 100% with its all about confidence. But I dont think you can fake it. Eventually there will come a point where you will start to exhibit signs of not being confident. I mean sure faking confidence can work, but only short term. At some point she will see that you aren't as confident with yourself as you try to seem.

I used to fake my confidence, put on a show you could say. And yeah it did work to pick up chicks, but after, things never really materialized, although I was AFC at the time so thats part of it haha. But I do think it's something you need to work on your Inner game first to really get the true effect.

Very true...for once In my life I am starting to have some success with women. It's definitely coming from my confidence now (which I still need to work on). My looks sure haven't changed much, but when I approach women these days I am getting much better responses and I think it really is because of the confidence I am doing it with now. I am doing things to help boost my confidence: almost done with masters degree, getting in the best shape of my life, keeping my haircut nicely all the time, upgrading my wardrobe, and expanding my social circle. This stuff all helps add to your natural confidence, which you can only find within you by realizing that you are a strong man that has a lot to offer the world.

 

[squirrels]

I agree 100% with its all about confidence. But I dont think you can fake it. Eventually there will come a point where you will start to exhibit signs of not being confident. I mean sure faking confidence can work, but only short term. At some point she will see that you aren't as confident with yourself as you try to seem.

I used to fake my confidence, put on a show you could say. And yeah it did work to pick up chicks, but after, things never really materialized, although I was AFC at the time so thats part of it haha. But I do think it's something you need to work on your Inner game first to really get the true effect.

It's not so much "faking it", as it is a "if you build it, they will come" idea.

To create "confidence" and "charm" in your life, you have to take the steps necessary to allow them to enter. Clear the "clutter" of your life...push aside or throw away all the doubt and fear and other things that are scaring confidence out of your life...make a place for that aspect to dwell.

If you ask for a girl's number and she turns you down, you can choose to hang on to that rejection, leaving it sitting in the clutter of your mind as a breeding ground for fear and doubt.

Or you can toss it out and keep only the lesson learned, if any. Combine that lesson with the rest, both your personal experiences and the examples of others, and learn what will attract confidence into your life.

If you can make a place for confidence to reside, without allowing fear and doubt to choke it out, eventually, it will grow within you...regardless of success or failure.