It hurts more to men when relationships are broken off than to women.

[HaleyBaron]

I am going to play devil's advocate for a second to when we say "Next" to anyone that has a woman that is ****testing them too much or disrespecting them. It's the right answer for when you barely know the person, but when it's a girl you've been around for a while, it is unavoidable to have a connection to her. It does not have to be love, but it's still an attachment. I am going to use a situation that recently happened for myself.

There is a girl I was fwb with for a good six to eight years, one of my longterm plates. I would have married her if we had not been long distance for most of it. We mostly only met and **** whenever we had to the time to go somewhere together. Naturally, that was back in my bp days. As time went, she realized that I wasn't into her as she thought. Or rather, she wanted me to see her as a gf. We had many a time where I said simply we were both too busy to do things like that. We both had careers. Though I could see what she really wanted: me to sweep her off her feet and marry her and start a family. I could have done that, but I have bigger ambitions. Then she started seeing I was hanging with other women. The wheel was turning in her head and she began questioning me being out with other girls. Odd cause I always said to her we were doing this for fun.

She changed since those days, becoming more pissy and the usual ****testing elevation you see girls do. I've repeated for us to break it off many times, mostly cause she didn't want to come see me as much anymore [for sexual reasons]. However, she still wanted my attention and cried when I said we should separate since she wasn't feeling anything anymore. The knowledge I've gained really helped me basically disarm her when she went into feminist mode. You know how it goes, a woman gets angry or sad a guy isn't perfect, goes online, then comes back to you repeating everything the scorned women say. I disarmed all of it by not acknowledging it and she became a docile girl again once I put her mistakes back in her face. Another day of sex, but then she returns to feminist mode the next week.

I stopped replying to her. I ignored the messages and phone calls she attempted. Eventually she sent her final text that she is gone so our separation is official. Throughout all of that, it hurt man. Despite being a man, that sh*t is still hard to take. It's like standing inside the house as someone beats on the door but you're not able to answer. It's a cold dreary feeling that I have not felt in a long time. Is it guilt? Is it disdain? Maybe leftover feminism still embedded in me from lessons of chivalry instilled by our society? Likely all of the above. I've known men who were soldiers that speak easily about killing women that tried to kill them overseas. But would they be just as quick to kill a loved one trying to do the same? That's how it felt: like I was killing her. What I was really doing was killing our attachment, and that's like taking Old Yeller out the back and shooting it.

Shi*t's not easy and I don't think it ever gets easier. Or maybe it does.

 

[PRW63]

1. Men are the true romantics. Men get more emotionally attached than women.
2. Women are usually emotionally "done" with the guy before they break it off,...so they no longer have any emotions invested into him at that point. So it is easy to leave.
3. Men fall in love ideologically (love for the sake of love), women fall in love pragmaticallly (safety, genetics [for the baby] & resources). Women's emotions are associated with attraction, not love. If she loses the Attraction/Emotions she will be a pain to deal with but may stick around,...but if the pragmatism isn't satisfied she will be gone.

 

[HaleyBaron]

1. Men are the true romantics. Men get more emotionally attached than women.
2. Women are usually emotionally "done" with the guy before they break it off,...so they no longer have any emotions invested into him at that point. So it is easy to leave.
3. Men fall in love ideologically (love for the sake of love), women fall in love pragmaticallly (safety, genetics [for the baby] & resources). Women's emotions are associated with attraction, not love. If she loses the Attraction/Emotions she will be a pain to deal with but may stick around,...but if the pragmatism isn't satisfied she will be gone.

I went to look for it and thankfully I found it. I thought of this image as I sat there with everything finished. I shouldn't let myself be bothered by it. I tell guys all the time to let them go, but I also know what it feels like and how difficult it can be.

 

[PRW63]

Good perspective to tell a guy who got rejected or afraid he will.

Him: He got rejected by someone who wasn't interested. Her: She rejected someone who was interested.
Who got the worst loss?

 

[EyeBRollin]

Sort of. Women are more valuable than most men until about the age of 27-30. Then it flips. From there, average men are more valuable than average women on the sexual market.

Top tier (<10%) men are simply more valuable than women. It is much more difficult for a woman to “replace” one of those guys. Hence, “alpha widowed.”

 

[Robert28]

It's much worse for them in the long run. Sure, they have a more rational calculus and easier to find a new partner, but they don't escape the emotional damage just by finding a better partner.

Good. I hope they suffer for years and die alone and miserable.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Subconsciously, all humans know that women are more valuable from a pure survival/reproduction point of view.

Not exactly. Females in nature cannot survive without men. Men can survive without women. Women are actually only needed for reproduction.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The truth is the women and men need each other. It was always meant to be a partnership.

But in practice, and the evidence is all around you, women are clearly seen as more valuable than men in a collective sense.

Seen by western society, yes. However, society is backwards. Men built the modern world. Human females literally cannot survive without men. They will die off. The reverse is not true.

 

[Zimbabwe]

1. Men are the true romantics. Men get more emotionally attached than women.
2. Women are usually emotionally "done" with the guy before they break it off,...so they no longer have any emotions invested into him at that point. So it is easy to leave.
3. Men fall in love ideologically (love for the sake of love), women fall in love pragmaticallly (safety, genetics [for the baby] & resources). Women's emotions are associated with attraction, not love. If she loses the Attraction/Emotions she will be a pain to deal with but may stick around,...but if the pragmatism isn't satisfied she will be gone.

This is because women have so much more options, if you can go on tinder and have 99+ likes in 3 minutes you wouldn't care when a relationship ends.

For a man it's a lot harder to find a girl to date, so we are more emotionally invested

 

[Alvafe]

1. Men are the true romantics. Men get more emotionally attached than women.
2. Women are usually emotionally "done" with the guy before they break it off,...so they no longer have any emotions invested into him at that point. So it is easy to leave.
3. Men fall in love ideologically (love for the sake of love), women fall in love pragmaticallly (safety, genetics [for the baby] & resources). Women's emotions are associated with attraction, not love. If she loses the Attraction/Emotions she will be a pain to deal with but may stick around,...but if the pragmatism isn't satisfied she will be gone.

the 2 is the main reason we say next her, the soon you next a woman who is starting to show disrespect sooner you are free, and worse is for her, before she gets "done" you end it, then she is the one who feel bad, you feel bad or not don't matter you will regardless, so be a man and finish it of and get free soon

 

[HaleyBaron]

 

[BadBoy89]

She changed since those days, becoming more pissy and the usual ****testing elevation you see girls do.

Generally women between 28-36 have a deep desire to give birth and become mothers. If they don’t, they become impossible to deal with.

 

[corrector]

Sort of. Women are more valuable than most men until about the age of 27-30. Then it flips. From there, average men are more valuable than average women on the sexual market.

That is a cope. More like age 60 or 70.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Generally women between 28-36 have a deep desire to give birth and become mothers. If they don’t, they become impossible to deal with.

I realized that two years ago. She's getting older but has no kids yet. She also works alone. I knew eventually her nature was going to take over and often felt guilty for not being the guy for her. I actually would have gotten with her, but she has a lot of hangups. Not to mention despite all the times I hinted that she was gaining weight from her college days, she would not take anytime to reduce it. She kept giving excuses of why she couldn't do it so I didn't see her as a longterm investment.

 

[Velasco]

It hurts more whoever is more emotionally invested at the time of the breakup.

 

[Striker_93]

No it doesn't, like Velasco said, it's more based on who's more invested, gender has nothing to do with it.

But then again, men are soft these days so ain't no tellin

 

[Black Widow Void]

Women may commit suicide, but when’s the last time you heard a female committing suicide over a man?

On the other hand, for those of us that are a little older and know a lot of people… When’s the last time you knew a *man* to commit suicide over a *woman* ?

Here’s something else to consider; ever heard a female say “my conscience was bothering me?”

Don’t confuse me with the female bashers on this forum, but denial of the above facts doesn’t change them.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Do yourself a favour and stop comparing what men and women do, looking for some parity. You'll learn nothing other than that men and women are totally different, and react and respond in different ways to different things.

Not gonna happen dude.
We have some inexperienced lurkers and members among this forum.

Keep in mind that some people arrive here with motherly and/or media influence. Providing examples and contrast will likely help to unravel all that previous unhealthy mental-tapestry.

 

[The Duke]

I think it does effect men more in the short term. But long term, definitely the women. I had a ex-wife that crushed me after she cheated on me. It took months for me to get my head half way right after being together for almost 15yrs. But years down the road, and on her second divorce who still reaches out to me? She has experienced pain and never healed. She has carried that with her all these years. She never dealt we it when she should have. Women tend to internalize and carry baggage with them. They aren't great problem solvers like men who fix things and move forward.

Failed relationships definitely scar women. I've seen the carnage in women I've dated.

Address your problems, forgive, and forget. And go find another woman to share good times with. Remember no woman lasts forever. Enjoy your time with them, and when it's done move on to the next one.

 

[Hal9000]

Its easy to get over a relationship when you've got literally a hundred guys begging you to be next. Guys usually end up alone and have to start over finding someone else from scratch, which could take weeks, months or forever. Big difference in the two post break up realities.