"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

It finallly hit home....

AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2004
Messages
497
Reaction score
7
I just finally actually realized what I'm into... it finally hit home that I've broken up iwht my girlfriend. and it f!cken hurts. I'm serious. I was at a club tonight, and all I could think about was her.. I started crying because of her. I feel pathetic because I cried. I don't want to be so affected by it, but I just can't help it.

I saw some pictures of her tonight on facebook ....... she was the SLUTTIEST girl out. when we were together, she was always cold and I used to rub her and heat her up. for halloween she dressed as the skankiest nurse EVER.

worse still, I saw her sitting on some guy's lap looking all lovely. that was too much for me to handle.

I didn't call her. I didn't contact her at all. yet I have no idea how to handle this. I'm a mess right now. I cried in a club, how pathetic is taht?? I was dancing with some chick and all I could think about was her. wtf


guys i need some help. how do you get over this. (yes I am a bit drunk right now). I don't want this to end. I guess I'm still in the denial phase. I know she wasn't the best chick ever. I know I'm worth a lot. But I can't stop thinking of all the **** that I messed up in and that might have brought us down. I want to be with her again ... taste her sweet lips.... i know its not gonna happen so why am I still fighting myself over this???
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

abcd_z

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 28, 2003
Messages
304
Reaction score
8
Location
Oslo, Norway
Don't look at her facebook any more. Cut all contact. Rename your cell phone info for her as "IGNORE HER", if you haven't already deleted her. Do whatever it takes to become active. Right now your emotions are going to be all over the place. We've all been there. Hurts like hell, I know. Now you have to go out, make friends, enjoy life. It seems hard, I know. But the more you do, the faster your recovery will be. Beyond that, you're just going to have to ride it out.
Best of luck.
 

man_o_mystery

New Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
Age
47
Location
Canada
Yah man, cut off contact completely if you want to give yourself a chance at recovering. I broke it off with my girl a few weeks ago - I was much into her but she was self-destructive and being with her felt intoxicating.

You know the drill, work and play hard and soon enough she will be just a memory...it won't be easy, but at least you'll be free to f*ck whoever you want.
 

dadmonson

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2004
Messages
329
Reaction score
2
Seriously, Girls like her are a dime a dozen,... you'll get over her.
 

Desert Fox

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2008
Messages
786
Reaction score
22
stop facebook stalking her bro. do something that makes you feel good
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

AlexTheGreat

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2004
Messages
497
Reaction score
7
Thanks guys for the support. Fox, I know what you mean, but it's so hard. If you read my other thread, I had oneitis for this girl. I thought I loved her. I know it's bad, but I can't help it at this point. I guess I just need some time to get myself back into grove, but still...

Tomorrow would have been our first year anniversary.

I've been talking to a lot of people about this, and I'm not sure if I'm getting annoying with this, but I know I myself am annoyed that I cannot seem to let go of her. I want this done but my emotions have me trapped right now.

On a different note, I saw Terminator 1 today on TV. Hahahah I just love Schwartzenegger's attitude in the beginning when he goes "Your clothes. Give them to me. NOW" Or when he goes to push the guy off the payphone. Hahaha I so wanna be able to do that. Go out there and not give a sh!t about what people will think. I think that'll be my new mission objective.
 

MisterMcGee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
825
Reaction score
18
you'll get over it, you're being human. You aren't being special or experiencing something special.
 

Alle_Gory

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
4,194
Reaction score
79
Location
T-Dot
You liked what you thought she was. It was all in your head. A lie.
The girl you thought you were with, and reality are completely different.

You're not in love with your oneitis. She doesn't really exist.


Get over it, and wake up from the dream.
 

Bluesteak

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2008
Messages
135
Reaction score
1
Location
Kalifornia
I know how you feel man, but every little bit of progress feels So good.
 

Pathgen

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 8, 2008
Messages
331
Reaction score
6
Location
San Fran
Respect bro im going through the same pain. We will get over it though just keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

manonfire

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2008
Messages
32
Reaction score
0
Definately cut all contact and use this time to improve yourself. The best revenge is success. Make her regret losing you..but by then she won't matter to you anyways. stay strong.
 

classy broadside

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2008
Messages
54
Reaction score
3
Breaking up is never easy. But good job doing it. It'll hurt for a bit, like tearing off a scab. The pain will eventually go away and the wound will heal, and you'll be a better man for it.

So don't dwell on the past. Look to the future. Nearly everyone on here have broken up with someone because it was the right thing to do. And if you knew that it was right to break up with her (i.e. slut, flake, psycho), then you're on your way to a better life like the rest of us.

And what others have recommended -- cutting her out of your life -- is great advice. It makes it much easier. Delete all contacts, get rid of her Facebook friendship (so you can't access her photos), get rid of her stuff, put her letters in a box and tape it shut.

Also, take this time to better yourself. Fill that void with exercise, reading philosophy, etc. Find your new self.
 

jdon23

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2008
Messages
143
Reaction score
13
Hey man I think everyone knows what you're going through if they've ever broken up with someone they really care about.

I know it hurts like hell, but you have to remove ALL contact with her. You need to delete her from face-book, delete her from your phone, and delete her from your life.

Accept that you had great times with her, and accept that as the past. It doesnt matter why you broke up, or who's fault it was.

Now you are free to focus on your future. ANY woman you want is yours for the taking. Make yourself available, and stop dwelling on the past.

There are greater things out there, my friend. All you have to do is change the small scope of reality you have made for yourself with this girl. Her existence doesn't define yours. Read that sentence again.

You will get over this :)
 
Top