"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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It eventually happened but ...

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30Yov

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Long time reader but few times poster ...

6 months after my first topic and I'm back here. Tomorrow I will become 31 but difference with every other birthday is that I'm no longer a virgin. Despite to advice, I didn't went to a *** but I met a woman from the neighboardhood. Got a relationship, 4 months now, and it happened ... but it isn't what I was expecting ( I mean the relationship ). She is a nice girl, 1 year younger than me, little experience with guys - so ideal since I had none with girls - live around the corner, has a quiet good job and is really into me. If I read all this, it was nearly the description of my ideal girl ( she is a 7 ) but for some reason I feel lonely and empty ... and I don't know why ...

I have several good friends with who'm I'd go out, do some sports, I have a good job, received a promotion 2 months ago, I have now a girlfriend and one other who is starting to send me text messages for us to meet ( I know her for 5 years but she never showed interest, now she is questioning a friend of mine about me ... ) ... so why am I feeling like this??? I always thought that I needed someone to fill this emptyness but apparently it isn't the case, or is it because she is way more into me than I'm into her and I want the challenge?

Ever since I have this girlfriend, I want to seduce more - is this normal? Anyone experienced knows this feeling? has the same "problem"

Anyone has advice ???

Thank you!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BeDJ

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The loneliness and emptiness you feel is not really directed towards yourself. Here you have a girl that really cares about you. You had sex for the first time and it felt great. Now that you had a taste, you want to try other flavors. You want to ride the coochie-carousal and never settle.

Stop being lonely and empty and start being hungry and horny!
 
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LorenzoVonM

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Things external to yourself will never be able to fulfill an emptiness inside you. I know popular culture will tell you that but it is a recipe for a lot of suffering. You need to embark on the journey where you are fulfilled from the inside first. Then you can add the spice of life (girls, trips, cars, whatever) to enhance that happiness. You need the foundation first though.
 
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Iceberg

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Justin Time said:
Give each other space. If you screw up. You will regret it. No need to be a man*****. Go out and do things together.
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Or maybe he doesn't want to marry the first woman he f**ked.

I don't know which village you're from, but in the rest of the world even the holiest of men don't always settle down with the first person they date.

Anyway, BeginningDJ is the closest to being right. Back when I was 18 and had my first girlfriend, it took me probably 2 years to admit to myself, "You know what, Iceberg? You don't like this girl." Prior to that, it was 2 years of wondering if I was a "bad person" for wanting to f**k other girls. Maybe the fact that you're older and more mature than I was means that you're coming to this realization earlier.

Those feelings you describe as "loneliness" might just be the fact that you're not connecting with this girl who you spend lots of time with. It's like...you're not alone, but she's not your type, so you're feeling alone. I mean, you know your relationship better than i do. But that's what I think.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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L

LorenzoVonM

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Iceberg said:
Or maybe he doesn't want to marry the first woman he f**ked.

I don't know which village you're from, but in the rest of the world even the holiest of men don't always settle down with the first person they date.

Anyway, BeginningDJ is the closest to being right. Back when I was 18 and had my first girlfriend, it took me probably 2 years to admit to myself, "You know what, Iceberg? You don't like this girl." Prior to that, it was 2 years of wondering if I was a "bad person" for wanting to f**k other girls. Maybe the fact that you're older and more mature than I was means that you're coming to this realization earlier.

Those feelings you describe as "loneliness" might just be the fact that you're not connecting with this girl who you spend lots of time with. It's like...you're not alone, but she's not your type, so you're feeling alone. I mean, you know your relationship better than i do. But that's what I think.
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The OP said "I always thought that I needed someone to fill this emptyness but apparently it isn't the case".

The emptyness was there before and he is looking for someone else to make him whole. Ain't gonna happen. He might meet a girl he connects with even better, and yes he will be ecstatic and probably experience pure bliss. If that girl would ever leave it would probably rock his world to its core. He needs to work on himself first.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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