It all just fell apart. Explain this...

[the_stig]

Had plans with a 37 year old HB8 tonight. She displayed ultra high interest; always initiating, how nice she'd look so she wouldn't scare me off, but sh!t tested me several times with statements like "You have to earn points for xxxx" which I IGNORED. Just an hour ago the following conversation went down:

HER: Hey! Hope you're having a great day.. were we meeting at 7 or 7:30? I Don't want to be late
ME: It's a busy day! I'm running a few min behind at work, lets meet at 8:15 so i'm not the one who's late. That work?
HER: No I don't think so as the drive alone is 45 min, thats unfortunate.. I hope we can make a connection one day. have a good night!
ME: How about 7:45?
HER: No.. I dont want to rush you cuz you never know what can happen with traffic. Maybe Sunday for a bit in the afternoon?
ME: Busy Sunday. I can do 7:30-7:45 and will be ok, take it or leave it.
HER: Just forget it, take care.. I didnt mean to upset you, maybe next time I will be sure to leave the whole night open. That's if there is a next time, sorry..
ME: I'm not upset at all. Have a goodnight.


^^ That's a serious WTF. I've never seen anything fall apart so fast. Was my text game weak, or is she a 37 year old third rate cheap flirt who enjoys toying with guys and playing games?

 

[Iceberg]

Psh.

Don't blame yourself. Not even for one second. This is some desperate, rapidly-approaching-middle-age chick, trying to reclaim her self-worth by playing games she read in Cosmo magazine. "How to make a guy chase YOU"

She probably wants you to chase too. But f**k that. Games are for kids.

 

[pdx1138]

Not you.

She would have played that move with anyone.

I smell a drama queen to the nth degree.

Good on you for keeping your cool.

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of giving her another chance if she txts you again.
She blew it.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

looks like she had another guy set up and was blowing you off

you seemed more needy for the date...then got a little rude too saying take it or leave it to her. that just added to it more.

when she said "I hope we can make connection one day" why did you still ask her to hang out? she blew you off and you still asked to to chill...not good

after she blew you off and said "have a good night" you should of not tried to say 7:45...made you look needy for the date

she was making excuses to chill with you....she wasnt interested if she was she wouldnt care about traffic or making excuses for you being in traffic

then the sunday excuse....she told you to forget it

does that sound like a woman who is interested to you?

she told you off....saying if there is a next time....just blew you out.....

why did you tell her to have a goodnight? dont say that when she was rude and blew you off....she prob will have a good night banging and blowing another guy.

she is a b!tch.......dont ever talk to her anymore.....ignore her and delete her number....or if she asks you to chill just say you have plans with another chick.

she must have a lot of experience blowing guys off....she did a good job on you.

forget her and chill with someone that wants to chill with you...

dont worry about it man.......she prob does that a lot.....prob trying to re live her glory days

texting does work when you do it right....this wasn't too good of texting her

 

[Scars]

Psh.

Don't blame yourself. Not even for one second. This is some desperate, rapidly-approaching-middle-age chick, trying to reclaim her self-worth by playing games she read in Cosmo magazine. "How to make a guy chase YOU"

She probably wants you to chase too. But f**k that. Games are for kids.

This.

Cut contact and ignore. Chances are she will be back, with even more interest. All her cosmologic will be thrown out the window.

Just sounds like another sh!t test to me. She doesn't know what she wants. Give it a couple hours/days and she's going to realize "Wow, maybe I fvcked up."

-Scars

 

[Atom Smasher]

Had plans with a 37 year old HB8 tonight. She displayed ultra high interest; always initiating, how nice she'd look so she wouldn't scare me off, but sh!t tested me several times with statements like "You have to earn points for xxxx" which I IGNORED. Just an hour ago the following conversation went down:

HER: Hey! Hope you're having a great day.. were we meeting at 7 or 7:30? I Don't want to be late
She showed courtesy. That earns a courteous answer back.

ME: It's a busy day! I'm running a few min behind at work, lets meet at 8:15 so i'm not the one who's late. That work?
"I'm just realizing I'm falling way behind in my schedule. Mind if we meet at 8:15 just to be on the safe side?"

HER: No I don't think so as the drive alone is 45 min, thats unfortunate.. I hope we can make a connection one day. have a good night!
She was offended at your "so I'm not the one who's late" line. So she decided to bail. You seemed discourteous to her.

ME: How about 7:45?
She sees you negotiating to keep her from being upset. Not good. Your trying to be nice is seen as transactional.

HER: No.. I dont want to rush you cuz you never know what can happen with traffic. Maybe Sunday for a bit in the afternoon?
She actually countered in order to save it! You should have said, "I'm going to call you right now". She would have felt validated.

ME: Busy Sunday. I can do 7:30-7:45 and will be ok, take it or leave it.
Rude. Not C&F, not "aplha", just overtly rude.

HER: Just forget it, take care.. I didnt mean to upset you, maybe next time I will be sure to leave the whole night open. That's if there is a next time, sorry..

ME: I'm not upset at all. Have a goodnight.
You seemed flippant to her, plain and simple. She has been treated that way before, and you triggered those memories.

We have some lovely parting gifts for you...

Your first mistake was texting in the first place. Your second mistake was not telling her "let's talk in-person. I'm calling now". Your third mistake was coming off as flippant and rude.

Atom Smasher's Texting Postulate:
"Texting is a relationship killer. It can kill your chances instantaneously."

I've never seen anything fall apart so fast. Was my text game weak, or is she a 37 year old third rate cheap flirt who enjoys toying with guys and playing games?

Your text game was miscalibrated.

My notations in bold above.

 

[squirrels]

Ehh..."take it or leave it" was a little much.

You're trying too hard, dude. There's a difference between "being in charge" and "being a d!ck".

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

That's classic game that she just spit on you.

She tried to create an expectation that you'd be on time every time.

She tried to demonstrate that she's not willing to tolerate any BS, even if it's unintentional BS.

She demonstrated that she's completely willing to walk away.

See what you did there with the "busy sunday... let's do it now or that's it" comment? Yeah, that's what she did when she was like "just forget it, take care"

She DHV'd all over your AZZ while you were trying to DHV her!


Face it... if you were a needy biatch you'd probably give her a call and apologize a bunch of times and beg her to give you another chance, and she'd have the upper hand for the rest of whatever relationship she wanted to have with you.

 

[Tortendieb]

Yeah I can see from the comments in this thread that it was either "she was playing games" or "you said something wrong and she bailed". Either way, it says low interest to me...

 

[DonGorgon]

looks like she had another guy set up and was blowing you off

you seemed more needy for the date...then got a little rude too saying take it or leave it to her. that just added to it more.

when she said "I hope we can make connection one day" why did you still ask her to hang out? she blew you off and you still asked to to chill...not good

after she blew you off and said "have a good night" you should of not tried to say 7:45...made you look needy for the date

she was making excuses to chill with you....she wasnt interested if she was she wouldnt care about traffic or making excuses for you being in traffic

then the sunday excuse....she told you to forget it

does that sound like a woman who is interested to you?

she told you off....saying if there is a next time....just blew you out.....

why did you tell her to have a goodnight? dont say that when she was rude and blew you off....she prob will have a good night banging and blowing another guy.

she is a b!tch.......dont ever talk to her anymore.....ignore her and delete her number....or if she asks you to chill just say you have plans with another chick.

she must have a lot of experience blowing guys off....she did a good job on you.

forget her and chill with someone that wants to chill with you...

dont worry about it man.......she prob does that a lot.....prob trying to re live her glory days

texting does work when you do it right....this wasn't too good of texting her

that is the cold hard truth of it and well written aslo...

BUT

form many men the reality is that they have less options than most females so when it comes to these games the females has the advantage of being able to have many many back up options so she seldom if ever places a high value on ay one option.. so men will be more desperate and even when they try to p0lay the game when they sense that the women does not care the fall apart and their desperation shows it happens to all men even the best players..

 

[AlexDP]

This girl did nothing wrong. Some of you guys are really going overboard. She wanted to have a decent date and she felt like she wasn't going to get that. First you said you couldn't spend as much time with her as she would have liked to, then you declined the invitation to see her Sunday afternoon. She thinks you're not interested.

She played this the way everyone on this forum would have played it. Seriously, the guys who are giving her crap would have done the same as her.

 

[DonGorgon]

This.

Cut contact and ignore. Chances are she will be back, with even more interest. All her cosmologic will be thrown out the window.

Just sounds like another sh!t test to me. She doesn't know what she wants. Give it a couple hours/days and she's going to realize "Wow, maybe I fvcked up."

-Scars

Not true.. see this thread..

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=185363

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I bet you met her off the internet.

 

[movistar]

I think the take it or leave it comment was a little too harsh over a text message... If you were joking about it, that doesn't come through in text. If you said it over the phone it could work and wouldn't seem serious. Since you barely know each other, she doesn't know if your joking or !00% serious.

Overall, I wouldn't want to deal with this chick. Fvck her!

 

[st_99]

I think the best thing I took from this thread is the reminder that texts and emails are garbage, nobody knows what the hell you're trying to say, if you're being funny, the tone of your voice, its just dumb.

Pick up the phone!

 

[Kirro]

Take or leave it killed the OP. Coming from a particularly rude guy......that was rude man.

 

[Iceberg]

Take or leave it killed the OP. Coming from a particularly rude guy......that was rude man.

Yep. I didn't notice that comment when I first responded to this thread.

When you're trying to keep things casual and light with a woman, terms like "Take it or leave it" don't help. Especially when it comes to arranging your very first date.

We're not negotiating the purchase of a used car here.

 

[t00dumb]

Take or leave it killed the OP. Coming from a particularly rude guy......that was rude man.

:crackup:

 

[the_stig]

I've been irritated with girls flaking lately and the take it or leave it comment was probably made out of resentment when she started backing out. I figured if her IL was high she'd have no qualms about meeting half an hour later than planned anyway.

Since it would have probably been a sex fling, I wonder if its worth trying to tactfully reschedule in a few days, or avoid the hassle and move on..

Slightly OT but I was out with a 35 year old HB7 a few weeks ago and she had the audacity to tell me she enjoyed talking to guys and suddenly disappearing "because it's funny". What was funny was her tantrum when I split the bill and called it a night.

 

[Zarky]

Just didn't happen man, don't over analyze it. She's a bit of a control freak, when you said 8:15 she felt you weren't all that interested, so she pulled back, and it was a downward spiral from there.

Sounds like neither of you was all that interested in the other. Or at least not interested enough to make things come together.

I look at it in the following way:

For two people to come together, there needs to be a sum total of at least 100% given by the parties. If one party gives 40% and the other gives 60%, then it happens. If both parties give 50%, then it happens. If one party gives 1% and the other gives 99%, then it happens. But if both parties are only willing to give less than 50%, it won't happen.

Sounds like you guys were each willing to give about 40-45%. This doesn't add up to at least 100%. Thus, it didn't happen.

Not a big deal either way. If you date enough this will happen A LOT. Better you realized it early than late.

EDIT:

I just reread it and her comment "will be sure to leave the whole night open" is strange. Perhaps, like a previous commenter said, she had something lined up afterward. If that's the case, then you are definitely better off not having bothered with her.

Since it would have probably been a sex fling, I wonder if its worth trying to tactfully reschedule in a few days, or avoid the hassle and move on..

I think you already know the answer to this one..