Issues with brother

[dk1990S111]

I know this forum is mostly for advice for women but I wanted to see if you guys could help me out with some issues I have been having with my brother.

My brother and I are about 1.5 years apart, I am older. He is the youngest in the family, I am the middle child, and I have an older sister. He has always been highly competitive and acts like he has something to prove around me. About 2 years ago now he was the one that broke me and my LTR of 4 years up (she was a crazy b!tch but still he should not have been trying to break us up IMO as long as I was happy).

After that I was obviously pissed and didnt talk to him for probably 8 months I would guess. We work together at my parents business so ofcoarse my parents use the whole "you have to get along with him at work" which I dont really have a problem with that, I just ignore he exists for the most part unless he asks for something and even then I just handle business and move on with my day. His job is very relaxed while mine is high stress so I dont have time to seek problems with him.

Eventually we started talking again and got along pretty good for a while until maybe 2 months ago he decided to start talking sh!t and challenging me to arm wrestle him. Saying how I think I am all strong now that I am going to the gym and trying to give him advice on eating (he has some muscle but is pretty damn skinny, I was too but I have put on 20 lbs in the last few months and have a lot of people saying that I look a lot healthier).

I go ahead with his arm wrestling challenge to which he uses technique more than strength. I tell him "whatever, thats not how I do arm wrestling. Its a physical challenge so using anything more than just your strength is stupid" to which he starts talking a bunch of sh!t and saying I need to go to the gym more. At this point I am just pissed off (ya it sounds stupid to be pissed off over that but when someone talks sh!t to me I am not gunna be too happy with them obviously. He doesnt apologize for it so then it turns into months that we havent talked since.

Heres where I need your opinion. When we dont get along my parents want me to "be the bigger man and apologize to him for not getting along with him". I see that as being a beta b!tch, why should I apologize when he decides to start a problem in the first place. What do you guys think? If I stick to my guns with an alpha mentality things dont get worked out because he will not apologize to me for anything. But my parents also tend to blame me thinking I am the problem because any time I reject going to lunch with him he runs and tells them. He also acts like a worthless pos when my parents arent around (not helping with work) but then when one of them is around he asks how he can help and puts on an act for them.

Opinions?

 

[Bible_Belt]

He has low self-esteem, insecurity, and an inferiority complex. If you can see his behavior through that lens, then it shouldn't make you so mad.

As for his bullsh!t, just like with a woman, you have to call it out the instant it happens. When he challenges you to arm wrestle, you say "awww. Little brother wants to be as strong as big brother. Isn't that cute!"

I would just tell your parents that he has issues that arise from feeling that he did not get enough love from them as a child, so he takes it out on you. They're the ones who raised him. They have a lot more responsibility for his character than you do.

 

[scrouds]

Rise above the games.

And while you're figuring out how to manage your brother, realize you'll have to manage your parents too.

For the record, arm wrestling is all about technique. Learn to accept your losses in life with humility. It's the mark of a mature man.

Also worth mentioning is learning to deal with hecklers. Nobody handles hecklers better then a stand up comic. The comment about go back to the gym that's a heckle

 

[logicallefty]

Don't be the beta b|tch. Stick to your guns. Going thru similar with one of my sisters. She really took a dump on me two years ago with something I haven't yet forgiven her for. Other family members are telling me to initiate and talk to her about it. My stance is no I don't need anything from her so no skin off my back . Then I ask why doesn't she apologized to me? Because she's the golden child of the family and she doesn't do such things thats why. Even 5 years ago I would have been bending over to her.

 

[dk1990S111]

haha ya thats exactly what I told my mom when she told me to be the bigger man and apologize, "what so Im supposed to be his beta b|tch? screw that he's the one that fvcked up not me" and like you said, I dont need him for anything which is why it goes on for months.