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Issue with married woman

Machine10033

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I was on these forums almost a decade ago and cannot say how much they have done for my life. I actually lost my previous login and had to create this one. You guys have always helped me in the past and I need some help now.

I have been friends with a woman for about 3 years. About 2 months ago we ran into each other at a bar and had a few drinks. We ended up screwing around and not having sex. She is married and i really did not want to get into that mess. We met a few times and talked... never got past making out. She used the L word and started to tell me she wanted out of the marriage. I did not encouraged her and told her to work at it. They started to attend therapy and she said I dont want to go... how can I go when I am in love with you. At this point I said we should probably go back to being friends I do not want to be the reason for your split. She agreed but during that day continued to flirt with me and send me pictures. My responses were sort of one liners. I am thinking his was a set up and she wanted to get caught.

That next day I am at lunch and get a text from her that her husband found her texts and was going off the deep end. They attended another therapy session and she told me she cannot have contact with me! I said i understand and good luck. I get a text from her friend last night sort of giving me an update and she said this woman is leaving her husband... But it is not because of me but that she is having a hard time because she loves me. I did not even respond.

Every time she brought up leaving him in those two months she said it was not because of me. At this point I have no contact with her but am really worried she will sabotage any effort to repair her marriage. I want her to know how crazy this is and that I will not be there if she commits to this and leaves her husband and two children. At this point is it best to just block and ghost her friend or try and get a message to her that this is completely over.

I feel like a complete scumbag over this and know it was wrong. Just looking for advice.
 

hockeyfreak79

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You didn't fück her so stop blaming yourself, this is her own doing not yours. If it wasn't you it would be some other guy, it was in evitable. Just move on and forget about it. She sounds like a nut job anyway.

 

Reykhel

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FVCK THIS BIATCH

She is an emotional mess who seems to be addicted to attention and drama

WALK THE FVCK AWAY

believe me, saying she loves you is a good sign that this hag is not well
 

Machine10033

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Thanks guys lol!!! So do not try and get word back to her that In no way shape or form will I be waiting for her if she sabotages her marriage even further.

It is crazy.. I made out with this woman and she is ready to show up at my house with her bags packed and kids !
 

Billtx49

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It is crazy.. I made out with this woman and she is ready to show up at my house with her bags packed and kids !
Yes, already using the L word, too much too soon from her, and no sex yet = Delete her.
You owe her nothing and she’s already trying to use you as an excuse for ditching hubby. Don’t be her pawn. Let her deal with her own issues as an adult should.
 
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Machine10033

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Yes, already using the L word, too much too soon from her, and no sex yet = Delete her.
You owe her nothing and she’s already trying to use you as an excuse for ditching hubby. Don’t be her pawn. Let her deal with her own issues as an adult should.
Thank you all!! I missed this forum !
 

Reykhel

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Thanks guys lol!!! So do not try and get word back to her that In no way shape or form will I be waiting for her if she sabotages her marriage even further.

It is crazy.. I made out with this woman and she is ready to show up at my house with her bags packed and kids !
She loves you translates to : she's looking to branchswing to another HOST and have you be the new daddy and provider.

Cut this cancer off like the malignant cvnt that it is.

Choose your "friends" more wisely
 

GT40

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Run man. Run fast.
Her marriage was doomed before u showed up. She was looking for a justification and reason to leave. That was you until you pulled away. Block this chicks cell and move on
 

Machine10033

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I have her and her best friend blocked. I am hoping that after a few weeks with zero responses they both get the picture. For anyone out there always trust your gut !!!! The day i said we should go back to being friends she said that is perfect i hate sneaking around like this. Her texts during the next two days became odd. Like she was trying to build a dialogue. She kept bringing up things we said in the past and continued to flirt. I had a sick feeling that she was trying to quickly build a trail to get caught and that is exactly what she did.

I feel guilty about this but hopefully can recover pretty quick. My fear is that she sabotages her marriage and word gets around my town it was because of me.
 

Machine10033

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It's been over a week and her and her best friend are still blocked. My best friend who knows the story and what was going on says it was cowardly to block them both and I need to reach out to them. I am looking for opinions on what to do? I will see her best friend soon in the spring .. I sort of feel bad about blocking her i knew her for years and was pretty good friends but I couldn't take her texting me all the drama taking place in her friends life now that she was caught ! I was getting texts about him flipping out over this and how she was leaving him because she loved me. It was giving me an ulcer.
 

MrAddiction

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My best friend who knows the story and what was going on says it was cowardly to block them both and I need to reach out to them
What should be the expected outcome of reaching out to them? Nothing! It just is "the right thing" to do in a feminine primary world that your friend is living in. Never consider acting on anything someone still being bluepill tells you.
Block for your own sake and sanity. Nothing cowardice about getting trouble out of your life.
 

BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Do not engage the drama with either of them. In time if you run into the friend socially things will smooth over.

You don't need additional damage to your reputation.

The married chick projected her picket fence romance novel fantasies onto you. That's what she's in love with...the fantasy.

Not that you aren't awesome...You probably are...but this behavior is driven by her idealization, in which you play a role, like an actor.
 

Machine10033

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Thank u, you all made this much easier. Since this blew up I have not heard a peep about it. I was worried about my reputation for 37 years I have kept a good one. Me and her husband are pretty well known in our area and this would be a pretty big story. I think he is equally embarrassed by this. She was looking to leave and I was the next host ! Thank god it was not much worse
 

Glassguy

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Advice from the old lady:

Do not engage the drama with either of them. In time if you run into the friend socially things will smooth over.

You don't need additional damage to your reputation.

The married chick projected her picket fence romance novel fantasies onto you. That's what she's in love with...the fantasy.

Not that you aren't awesome...You probably are...but this behavior is driven by her idealization, in which you play a role, like an actor.
Great advise.

Many women cheat and divorce because they think it's easier to change venues rather than learn to work problems out.

The struggles of life eventually follow to the new prospect and they realize that the change of venue and the fantasy didn't solve anything at all. New face, same issues.

That's why affairs rarely last as relationships after the woman gets divorced. The affair was fun. No bills, no kids running around...It's all fun.

Then life enters the picture and it's back to square one.
 

Machine10033

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Great advise.

Many women cheat and divorce because they think it's easier to change venues rather than learn to work problems out.

The struggles of life eventually follow to the new prospect and they realize that the change of venue and the fantasy didn't solve anything at all. New face, same issues.

That's why affairs rarely last as relationships after the woman gets divorced. The affair was fun. No bills, no kids running around...It's all fun.

Then life enters the picture and it's back to square one.
Absolutely, I never even got to experience any of the fun stuff! From day 1 with her it was the nuclear option.. I love you and will be getting a divorce. It was then followed by me praying she just works **** out and telling her to work it out. She's a 10 and there were other guys doing their best to get in my position. There were red flags she married her husband after 3 months of dating. So I always thought **** in her book at a month she's probably thinking this is a long term relationship. She also told me they attended therapy years ago and she had an affair at that time. I was cringing when she blamed this poor guy for her affair back then. I thought to myself man.. this guy kills himself working, buys a massive house for their family, let's her stay at home, pays all the bills, pays for her clothing, boob job, and she blames him for her first affair... and now my thing.
 

Glassguy

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And when you ghost her, it will eventually be a different guy that she does this with. It's not her husband that's the problem.....the problem is she is a woman that will never be happy. She internalizes that her husband is doing things wrong so it gives her a psychological reason to justify the cheating.

Sounds like her husband needs to join SS and swallow the big pill lol. He needs to kick her out of that big house and let her realize what she had with him. Let her @ss get a job and let her fend for herself. But he wont because he is obviously a beta.
 

Machine10033

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Absolutely!! I feel for the guy! She divorces him she walks away set for life! Married after a few months and no prenup with a very lucrative family business. If im ever married ( which I won't be) and my wife asks for a boob job I'm going upstairs, packing her stuff and saying good bye. I have been with several married woman and it's always the same script!!! I am grateful their is a small subset of men that subscribe to this forum that will be able to sniff out the signs !!
 

MrAddiction

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. I thought to myself man.. this guy kills himself working, buys a massive house for their family, let's her stay at home, pays all the bills, pays for her clothing, boob job, and she blames him for her first affair... and now my thing.
..and he is not the only one.
Rollo recently posted this.
Guys like These above should read this but oftentimes they Never will get to it.
https://therationalmale.com/2017/12/01/men-and-suicide/
 

Spaz

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..and he is not the only one.
Rollo recently posted this.
Guys like These above should read this but oftentimes they Never will get to it.
https://therationalmale.com/2017/12/01/men-and-suicide/
An interesting read; zeroed out.

Yes. I am expecting to be zeroed out and I'm hoping it happens sooner rather then later.

Last time it happened when I was in my late 20's through early 30's. Good time as any to rebuild yourself into a better version.

So yeah, being zeroed out is akin to being in the bottomless pit of hell but rising from the ashes a better man feels much more satisfying.

On a personal note; I've never gotten involved with any married woman not because of lack of opportunities. It's because this will cause too much problems to the husband and their children - chances r high that the hubby will go after you to get even. A man with nothing to lose can be murderous. Just too much hassle for my taste.
 
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