Isn't it embarrasing to think about your past?

[Survivor]

Stormwriter,

I'm sure you meant well, but this thread is a classic example of what is called mental masturbation. I'm almost tempted to close it. Your're getting off on the fact that you know what you did wrong and reliving the memories in your mind of how you would handle the situation if you knew then what you know now. Its a waste of time and energy dwelling on past women and past choices that should no longer define the man you are today. Regurgitating the "AFC" past is never healthy. You run the risk of re-creating those past insecurities and stunting your growth.

You are no longer that "AFC". So stop thinking his thoughts and reliving his memories. By all means learn from his mistakes, but don't claim his identity. We have learn to distract ourselves from the past and focus on living for the present.

Again, nothing productive can come from this. If it is so embarrassing to think about the past then dammit, don't!

 

[ManOMan]

Survivor is right,

AT times when I feel completely over my last g/f, I sometimes force myself subconsciously to relive the pain, I catch myself doing it sometimes, then I kick myself in the ass and say "WHO CARES!! MOVE ON!"

mental masturbation is useless, and I sometimes think your brain trys to keep you connected to your ex, EVEN if its just mental torture, its almost as if you are void of all emotions except pain, and the only way to "hold on" is to relive those painful memories,

In the immortal words of Tyler Durden, JUST LET GO!!


Alonso,

you seem like a very wise man, and I totally agree with you that mentally women turn their ex's from "Saint" to "monster" and blame, and hate them for everything that went wrong, its easier to hate and blame then to be held accountable

Another reason why I think women are tactless when dumping a guy, is because they think just because we are men, we can take being dumped with a grain of salt (i.e. we are stronger)

 

[Ice Cold]

Storm. You're being too negative about this.

Girls do this shyt to us you know. They spy all the time, they watch us and control us.

They are much less moral than we are. So a little spying on them will never hurt. It's all good.

And you find out the facts, which are a bit grim I have to admit but give you a good perspective on things.

Originally posted by stormwriter
I didn't realize how much embarrasing crap i've done in my past with women!
Thank god it's all in the past. I will never do that crap again.

Here's a list of some of the embarrasing, pathetic, borderline-psychotic things i've done:

- At one time, i could actually watch what the girl i dated was doing on her computer! I could literally, when she was logged on, bring up her screen on mine!

- I snuck a tape recorder in the room when my wife was talking on the phone.

- I captured keystrokes on her computer to get her hotmail password. Then logged on and read her email, and found out she was seeing another guy.
I actually configured it to capture keystrokes, and email the daily log to me! Psycho, i know!

No it's not psycho. It's having fun with the computer

- I spied on my ex-wife on Valentines Day after we were broken up. She was seeing another guy, and came home with him that night, and he stayed the night. haha.

You had a good reason to do that. She was probably seeing him even when you were together also.

- I don't even want to think about the pathetic letters and phone messages i've left for women, trying to get them back. Not to mention the stupid gifts that were just a waste of money. Oh, not to mention PAYING THEIR BILLS WHILE THEY ARE SEEING ANOTHER GUY!

Now that's borderline and psychotic

 

[Alonso]

Originally posted by Survivor
Stormwriter,

I'm sure you meant well, but this thread is a classic example of what is called mental masturbation. I'm almost tempted to close it. Your're getting off on the fact that you know what you did wrong and reliving the memories in your mind of how you would handle the situation if you knew then what you know now. Its a waste of time and energy dwelling on past women and past choices that should no longer define the man you are today. Regurgitating the "AFC" past is never healthy. You run the risk of re-creating those past insecurities and stunting your growth.

You are no longer that "AFC". So stop thinking his thoughts and reliving his memories. By all means learn from his mistakes, but don't claim his identity. We have learn to distract ourselves from the past and focus on living for the present.

Again, nothing productive can come from this. If it is so embarrassing to think about the past then dammit, don't!

Respectfully, I disagree. If (as I have) he uses his mortifying past impulses to understand why he should never do anything like that again, it can be very constructive. Mistakes are, proverbially, a potent form of learning. Yeah, you can dwell on them too much. But as witness my post, sure, I spent way too much time in figuring out why confronting her with my indignant letters was a really, really poor idea -- but it's better than if I hadn't spent that time. Now, specifically because of the memory of that misguided though process, I may make a lot of mistakes, but I hope I won't ever fall into the exact thought patterns that were so embarrassingly wrong five years ago.