Is Wanting Love/Affection from Women is weakness?

[Bokanovsky]

2. Seeking validation from women is weakness. It means your self-worth depends on external approval instead of inner standards. A man should draw validation from his competence, discipline, progress and not from how a woman reacts to him. The moment you rely on her approval, you lose influence. True confidence comes from being self-directed and not emotionally dependent.

I agree with this in theory. However, the practical reality is that it's hard to feel good about yourself in the absence of external validation. Humans are social creatures. We are wired to use external approval as a metric.

Confidence comes from being successful. But what is success? Some types of success are innately obvious. Two guys get into a fight; the guy who beats up the other guy is the successful one. But in a complex society such as ours, success is often measured through artificial, socially constructed criteria. If you become a billionaire, are you successful? Yes, but only because we live in a society that values money. Let's say you get drafted as a quarterback by an NFL team and you end up winning the Super Bowl. Is that success? Yes, but only because our society is obsessed with professional sports. In other words, you become successful (and therefore confident) because other people think you are doing something right.