Is using heartbreak as motivation healthy?

[MM92]

As the title states - is using heartbreak as motivation healthy?

I think motivation should come from within personally. But I found myself breaking no contact with an ex recently by viewing her Facebook. I instantly got a rush of motivation to get **** done in a "**** you, I'm gonna push myself so high you'll regret ever getting rid of me" sort of way. It works. But is it healthy?

 

[parkthebus]

Probably not as you're still relying on that persons validation for your own happiness. As you said, it works, but you really want to get to the point where you push yourself and feel good about it without thinking about which people specifically would be impressed.

 

[dustmuffin]

You might use it start the improvrments. I did and now I am going it for me. Its a process.

 

[VladPatton]

No. Get over the heartache and move on. Start over from square one, and don't look back, always forward.

 

[BatJuan]

It's healthy. I've been on this spiritual/emotional/mental journey of self-improvement for probably fifteen years now. Early on I was driven by trying to compete with others. Then I came to this site and worked that mindset out of my system because everyone said it was bad. But I eventually realized that I had accomplished so much over the years, self-improvement was no longer a challenge, and I kind of hit a brick wall and became demotivated. Now that I've started to "compete" with others again, I'm back on track and making more progress.

I think the key is you shouldn't be living your life for someone else. You should live your life for YOU. But it's totally fine to use other people to help drive your own growth. Because when you really think about it, why do you compete? You do it to prove your own worth to yourself. Sure, you may want to defeat the other person, but the satisfaction is really driving your own ego.