"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is this worth another try or NEXT?

booga

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Went out on a mini-date sat. morning w/a new girl. I made sure to kino & not be platonic. we had a great convo & it felt like it went really well, but of course none of that means sh1t... 3 days later I send this e-mail (edited a bit):

What's shakin? Hope you had a good weekend. Anyway, what say we go for a drink at [local upscale bar] Thurs. after dinner (say 8:00). We can stand on the balcony & look down at the little ant world below :) PS: What's your voice # just in case I ever need to get you in real-time?

I got this reply the next day:

Yep, I had a very nice weekend. Hope you did too. I'm going out of town on Thursday for an extended weekend, so no ant watching for me.

Notice no counter-offer & she ignored my request for her #. It sure looks like I got blown out here. Would you guys try again or just drop it?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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flexion_

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Yes I think you read her reply correctly.
 

booga

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Because she asked me out & the Doc sez "When it's incoming, take it." That indicated high interest level, but apparently I did something on the date to sink myself.
 

booga

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That's what I thought too but I just wanted to get a sanity check
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

booga

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OK, next time I'll do that. Live & learn. Thanks 4 the help.

Edit: to answer your question, The Doc is Tom Hodges, AKA Doc Love. His rationale is that asking out is YOUR job, not HER job, i.e. her taking over your job is already an act of great supplication & more challenge is too much. (Note: I'm not arguing in favor of this point, just telling you what he says).
 

Tazman

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Yep, I had a very nice weekend. Hope you did too. I'm going out of town on Thursday for an extended weekend, so no ant watching for me.
She certainly achieved absolutely no emotion in her reply.
 

( . )( . )

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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
I'm not sure who this Doc character is but he's a little off.

"When it's incoming, take it." ...That's a horrible philophy. If you're always available for a woman then where is her challenge?

Saturday morning is SLEEP time. (For people who like to go to bars, parties, and clubs)

It's good that she came to you. That's the way it should be. I like to chill with girls at night. You should have told her that you're gonna be out all night on Friday night doing something fun. Tell her a story. Next time make the date at night.


JC Jerkson
Jerkson nailed it.

If she offers, take it???? What the hell.
 

Dr Box

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Originally posted by JC Jerkson
I'm not sure who this Doc character is but he's a little off.

"When it's incoming, take it." ...That's a horrible philophy. If you're always available for a woman then where is her challenge?

Saturday morning is SLEEP time. (For people who like to go to bars, parties, and clubs)

It's good that she came to you. That's the way it should be. I like to chill with girls at night. You should have told her that you're gonna be out all night on Friday night doing something fun. Tell her a story. Next time make the date at night.


JC Jerkson
The more I read your posts the more I like you dude, I totally agree with this post.

Try "when it is incoming say your busy and suggest a time you are free"
If you paid money for this Doc guy ask for a refund.
 

booga

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Yes, his advice has gotten me into trouble a few times already. Particularly his telephone advice. Thanks for your help gentlemen, I really do appreciate it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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