"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is This Woman Hiding Something From Me?

Frank2500

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 22, 2006
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Guys, I'm not a big fan of online dating and I usually don't do it because there's just too many crazy and fake people out there. However, about a month ago, while sitting there bored one day, I decided to take a chance and post something on Craig's List personals site. Now, based on prior adventures that I pursued just for fun, in my experience, many people on Craig's List are very fake-not genuine at all, flakes.

But this one woman emailed me back and our communication has been kinda weird. She sent me "her picture" and all, but then, I would often sit for weeks without hearing back from her. Uusally, our communication has been something along the lines of one email every 3-4 weeks and I told her I couldn't communicate on such a slow pace anymore. She said she works 60 hours a week and takes classes, so she doesn't always find enough time to get on the computer. She won't give me her number, won't call mine and often responds after weeks of silence when I'm not expecting to hear from her. Now, my heart isn't into it and I'm not taking her seriously, but her last response to my questions of concern were:
"Sorry it took me so long to write back. I have been very busy with the recent purchase of my home."

I'm starting to think this is a woman who probably isn't very happy with her marriage or committed relationship and sees me as a temporary, occasional distraction from her everyday life. If a woman were serious about communicating with a guy she met online, she'd do everything possible to make time no matter how busy she claims to be. Anyway, I just thought it was a story worth sharing and it's a good thing I'm not putting my heart into it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
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at our house
maybe she is working 60 hrs a week in order to purchase that new home.
who knows?
 

MacAvoy

Banned
Joined
May 10, 2003
Messages
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Location
Northern Ontario
Pull your head out of your azz. You've been wasting all your efforts on this lady who won't even give you the time of the day.

Get out there and meet real people in the real world. Your obsessing over someone you've never even met. The sad part is this has been going on for weeks, and there you are refreshing your screen hoping and praying that after two weeks of ignoring you, she'll bless you with another email to string you along for another couple of weeks.

Are you beginning to see how pathetic your allowing yourself to be?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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