Is this salvageable? (Pretty legnthy but could really use some advice)

[TheBaconator]

Ok so I fcked up a perfectly great opportunity at getting some last week and wanna know if you guys think there is any hope whatsoever.

Had been flirting with this hottie cashier for some time now but never made a move cuz she was always working. Finally I man up and slip her a note with my number and a message "dinner this weekend", and wink. I head home and 10 minutes later I get a text from her saying hi. I respond but she's at work and doesn't start texting back again until a couple hours later, when she got off work.

During this time i'm at home chillin on some beers, with no work the following day so i get pretty wasted. She texts me later that nite and we small talk for a while n its all good, but then like a dik I tell her to call me cuz i don't like the back and forth of text. So she does and we talk on the fone. I member being smooth and just conversating about our jobs and lives and BS. But then it's gets blurry. I have no recollection the next day of how much of a **** i was, and I see we talked on the fone for almost half an hour.

I do remember her being very interested, and agreeing to go out sometime, however not sure when we made plans for or if we even set a definite date.

The next day, Thursday, in another **** move I text her "hey wats going on", hoping to get her over the place that nite. No answer, shoulda taken a hint there but i figured fuk it, if its already shot mite as well see Fri. So I call and leave a voicemail "we still on for something this weekend?". Once again no answer.

So it's left at that. I'm pretty sure I have no shot now cuz she thinks i'm an alkie which sucks cuz it was just one bad night of drinking. I now have to deal with the akwardness of seeing this gal at the store cuz its my local store. I'm wondering whether I should leave it alone or text her something along the lines of "Hey listen sorry bout my drunkness the othernite. I can understand u not getting back to me and i won't bother u".

What should I do?

 

[SickAgain]

Yeah it would be hard to salvage. But if something is actually worth a salvage...I say least try. I really couldn't suggest anything, cause you'll come off as desperate if you ask her why she doesn't respond. This one will require a lot of tact and smoothness. I guess you could go back to her work like a normal customer, and just ask where she's been when you pay...

But I wouldn't put much hope into it. Good luck.

 

[TheBaconator]

Yeah it would be hard to salvage. But if something is actually worth a salvage...I say least try. I really couldn't suggest anything, cause you'll come off as desperate if you ask her why she doesn't respond. This one will require a lot of tact and smoothness. I guess you could go back to her work like a normal customer, and just ask where she's been when you pay...

But I wouldn't put much hope into it. Good luck.

I duno about that one cuz I'm getting the idea I prolly offended her in some way or said something wrong in my drunken state. I'm trying to figure out a smooth way to apologize for being a drunken ass that nite without coming off as some desperate dude just trying to get laid. Like a good line to apologize and put the ball in her court if she decides to put that in the past. Thing that really stinks though is I don't even know what I said, so no clue of what I'd be saying sorry for aside from the fact that I was drunk.

It's killing me cuz I was great in the approach and convo up to the drinking point. Displayed tons of value, was a good balance of ****y and funny, and had it in the bag. Not only that but she lives down the block and I haven't gotten laid in a while. I'm pulling my hair out over this one.

 

[SickAgain]

But you already blew your chance to apoloogze. Either get over it or do something about it.

 

[TheBaconator]

But you already blew your chance to apoloogze. Either get over it or do something about it.

True, I didn't look at it that way but I guess i've already cemented an AFC mold in her with the drunk nonsense and the most manly thing I could do would be to ignore it and use your suggestion.

 

[bam bam]

lol who cares bro... why say sorry for enjoying yourself? you never plan on being drunk with her around you? she has to take you the way you are. If you put up a front then change once your in a relationship she's going to think you're a weirdo... take me the way I am or dont waste my time! if she can love you at your worst she can love you at your best! dont sweat it dude dime a dozen move on let her apologize for not msging you back.

 

[SickAgain]

bam bam that is ridiculous i'm sorry. getting drunk is acceptable at times, but to be drunk like when you first get something started with someone else is just suicide. what kind of person would find alcoholism attractive? it not about putting up a front either, it's about having the common decency not to be a drunk bastard and show some respect to someone on the phone. look at it her from POV. she's like wtf is wrong with this guy? this is what he thinks of me? show me one girl of sound mind who enjoys a alcoholic at all times.

 

[TheBaconator]

bam bam that is ridiculous i'm sorry. getting drunk is acceptable at times, but to be drunk like when you first get something started with someone else is just suicide. what kind of person would find alcoholism attractive? it not about putting up a front either, it's about having the common decency not to be a drunk bastard and show some respect to someone on the phone. look at it her from POV. she's like wtf is wrong with this guy? this is what he thinks of me? show me one girl of sound mind who enjoys a alcoholic at all times.

So you're kinda sending me two messages with your advice it seems. By not acknowledging it as an error in my judgment, doesn't that look even worse?

BTW I have chalked this one up as a failure, so I feel as if I'm playing with house money with any actions I take. I'm now conflicted as to whether I should go the route of apology and saying that isn't usually how I am, or the ****y route of just pretending it never happened and throwing a one liner about what happened to her.

 

[SickAgain]

Well you had a open window to apologize but it closed after your other attempts. You have pretty much ingrained the concept of a drunken bastard that you are in her mind, so thus the apology window has closed. If you go through the route of apology at this point you're telling her, "oh **** my other stuff didn't work i'm sorry but you're still hot and I want another chance." Pretty awkward for her. I mean the girl isn't responding to your calls and texts anymore. What more do you want? At this point you have chased her so hard she ran away. And I doubt she'll come back.

You're playing with house money at this point but the house money is actually any dignity you have left. Honestly you still have an AFC mindset. If you didn't, you'd learn from your mistakes, admit defeat and move on. But you're too fvcking needy. You live in NYC, there is no shortage of cute girls in that town man. Go to the Brazen Head in Brooklyn, there's a real cute bartender there who is very friendly, start new with her lol

 

[TheBaconator]

Sounds like a good kick in the ass. Well played sir.

 

[SickAgain]

Haha at least you're not that stubborn. You need to spin those plans man. Trust me. Burning bridges is an empowering feeling for me.

If its still your local spot I'd still go. It'll be awkward if you make it awkward. Act normal, be casual yet professional with her and maybe mention an apology. If you do it smoothly she'll understand. But don't come on to her at all, just leave it at an apology. If she's still interested she'll ask you to call her another time or go out sometime. Wait for her move after you heal the wound in other words.

For now just take it as a learning experience. It sucks when you fail, but at least you learn from mistakes!

PS. If you have a drinking problem I definitely suggest you take care of that. Being drunk might give you liquid courage, but its not cute and your game will suffer.

 

[TheBaconator]

Sounds like solid advice. I'll just move on to the other cute gal i flirt with at the store with hopes of learning my lesson lol. But if I end up on her line i'll just give a casual apology like you suggested, no come on.

My drinking is manageable, just have my nites like us all. Didn't have work the next day so let a little too loose, and got burned lol. New rule of the household now, me and my bro will be confiscating phones if there's even a notion that one of us will be taking the drunken plunge.

 

[bam bam]

bam bam that is ridiculous i'm sorry. getting drunk is acceptable at times, but to be drunk like when you first get something started with someone else is just suicide. what kind of person would find alcoholism attractive? it not about putting up a front either, it's about having the common decency not to be a drunk bastard and show some respect to someone on the phone. look at it her from POV. she's like wtf is wrong with this guy? this is what he thinks of me? show me one girl of sound mind who enjoys a alcoholic at all times.

who said anything about being an alcoholic... you call her drunk once doesn't make you one... nah it's not suicide as long as you make an jack ass out of yourself you'll be ok. It's not the best approach to handle things def not but wont kill you either. If you've done your ground work prior to the pickup she'll laugh it off and find it cute that you picked her to call when your drunk. There's no clear cut can't do this or this happens line. Your taking this was drunk thing to the extreme if he calls slurring his words and just making no sense at all. Then sure she'll be like ok this guy is a bit ****ed up. Lot of things have to get factored into the equation not just one variable. He's drunk called her that means she's gonna hate his guts. I've had girls I just meet call me coked out of their mind at 6am in the morning i've had other once msg/call me drunk. At times it's like lol your ****ed bye. Other times your like lol this is too cute... open your eyes a bit stop thinking in such a narrow way.

 

[Joe Stud]

Stop with the apologizing ideas. You were home relaxing, kicked back after a rough day, and got buzzed. Big deal. Stop worrying and go back to the store like you own it. Smile at her confidently, and slip her another note: "you are accompanying me Friday night to my favorite restaurant The Widget... to celebrate my getting promoted at work. Pick you up at 7:00pm hon"?
Then she will respond by text and it's a date. Then for petes sake drink very little and get her! Thats it, just do it.