VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2002
- Messages
- 1,167
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Here is a good post for those of you in a LTR and unsure about it or for those of you considering entering into one.
A really good list, which I have cobbled together from my experience, of what makes a relationship worthwhile. The things you need to have a REALLY GREAT relationship.
So, if you are questioning your relationship right now, take a look at this list and see how many of these things you can put a "check" next to in reference to your current relationship.
Now, good relationships need to be worked at. So, if there are a few things on this list that you and your significant other are not quite at 100% with, that doesn't necessarily mean that you should break up. As long as you are both committed to working on that issue, then you still have a great chance together.
But, if you find that you lack many of the things on this list, then you may be in trouble. If the lack of those things in your relationship is leading to one person (or both) being sad, angry or hurt most of the time, then you definitely have a problem.
So, here is goes.
13 Relationship Essentials: (In no particular order)
1) You are happy more than you are sad, angry or hurt.
2) You have the amount of intimacy you need. You both must satisfy each other sexually plus have the right amount of tenderness, affection and warmth that you desire.
3) You are able to talk to each other - about mundane things but also your problems. You can both express to each other how you feel. Plus you listen to each other and try to understand what/how the other person is feeling.
4) You are intellectually stimulating to each other. You have interesting conversations and/or debates.
5) You have FUN together. Laughing is essential. The ability to not always take yourselves seriously is key. You have to be able to let go, let it all hang out and go with the flow.
6) You have common goals and desires for the future and you work together to achieve these goals.
7) You both recognize that you both make mistakes and are willing to admit to them, forgive and move on.
8) You recognize that your partner has flaws and you are willing to tolerate those flaws.
9) You trust each other. You have confidence that you can depend on each other no matter what.
10)You can be yourselves with each other. When you are together, there is no need for games, power plays, fakeness or any other bullsh*t.
11) You both contribute to the relationship on a romantic level. Planning dates, trips, gifts and surprises is done by both people. Both people are giving 100%/100% to the relationship as opposed to one person giving, giving and the other taking, taking all the time.
12) You respect each other. You are willing to see the other person as a separate individual with rights/desires/needs/wants
13) And finally, all of the above are done/happen UNCONDITIONALLY and WILLINGLY.
If you have all this stuff, close to it, or you are working on it, you should hold on to it, because it is a pretty kick-ass thing to have.
If you don't have it yet, keep these things in mind when meeting potential dates/relationships. Can the person you are dating give you all this and would you be happy giving it to her? If not, there probably isn't LTR potential.
[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 06-13-2002).]
A really good list, which I have cobbled together from my experience, of what makes a relationship worthwhile. The things you need to have a REALLY GREAT relationship.
So, if you are questioning your relationship right now, take a look at this list and see how many of these things you can put a "check" next to in reference to your current relationship.
Now, good relationships need to be worked at. So, if there are a few things on this list that you and your significant other are not quite at 100% with, that doesn't necessarily mean that you should break up. As long as you are both committed to working on that issue, then you still have a great chance together.
But, if you find that you lack many of the things on this list, then you may be in trouble. If the lack of those things in your relationship is leading to one person (or both) being sad, angry or hurt most of the time, then you definitely have a problem.
So, here is goes.
13 Relationship Essentials: (In no particular order)
1) You are happy more than you are sad, angry or hurt.
2) You have the amount of intimacy you need. You both must satisfy each other sexually plus have the right amount of tenderness, affection and warmth that you desire.
3) You are able to talk to each other - about mundane things but also your problems. You can both express to each other how you feel. Plus you listen to each other and try to understand what/how the other person is feeling.
4) You are intellectually stimulating to each other. You have interesting conversations and/or debates.
5) You have FUN together. Laughing is essential. The ability to not always take yourselves seriously is key. You have to be able to let go, let it all hang out and go with the flow.
6) You have common goals and desires for the future and you work together to achieve these goals.
7) You both recognize that you both make mistakes and are willing to admit to them, forgive and move on.
8) You recognize that your partner has flaws and you are willing to tolerate those flaws.
9) You trust each other. You have confidence that you can depend on each other no matter what.
10)You can be yourselves with each other. When you are together, there is no need for games, power plays, fakeness or any other bullsh*t.
11) You both contribute to the relationship on a romantic level. Planning dates, trips, gifts and surprises is done by both people. Both people are giving 100%/100% to the relationship as opposed to one person giving, giving and the other taking, taking all the time.
12) You respect each other. You are willing to see the other person as a separate individual with rights/desires/needs/wants
13) And finally, all of the above are done/happen UNCONDITIONALLY and WILLINGLY.
If you have all this stuff, close to it, or you are working on it, you should hold on to it, because it is a pretty kick-ass thing to have.
If you don't have it yet, keep these things in mind when meeting potential dates/relationships. Can the person you are dating give you all this and would you be happy giving it to her? If not, there probably isn't LTR potential.
[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 06-13-2002).]
