Dapper Swindler
Senior Don Juan
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- Aug 25, 2004
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- 45
Of course this is normal, haven't you ever seen a sitcom?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Is this normal? GF keeping old letters from ex...
- Thread starter mecca411
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I don't care if anyone would see it as a red flag. And any guy who was so insecure to get jealous over me keeping things given to me by a deceased fiance' would definitely NOT be my type anyhow. As I said before...if a guy so much as whined or complained about those things even once I'd dump them anyway. That's the beauty of not being needy and being willing to walk away, even if you love someone....you are ALWAYS true to yourself and don't tolerate behavior and attitudes you don't like, period.
Those letters are NOT just "a box of paper"...they are 5 years of my life with a wonderful man who I loved more than life itself. I will always love him. That doesn't mean I can't love someone else too. But frankly, any man who would not understand the importance of those letters to me clearly would not love me enough to warrant me being with him. He would also be insecure and insecure men typically can't hold my attention long enough for a second date anyhow.Originally posted by Viking25
Just shows how much value WF places on the guy she is 100% in love with and wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
A box of fukking paper!!!
Yeah..she is a true player alright!
K B
Don Juan
In simplier terms:
If the man keeps old love letters, poems, pictures, etc. from his ex, he is insensitive, insecure, and doesn't have "faith" in his new relationship.
If the woman keeps old love letters, poems, pictures, etc. from her ex, she is "having tangible proof that you have been loved and cared by someone. It's basically an affirmation that the person is 'lovable' and worthwhile." (Wyldfire)
Wyldfire, you don't know what it is like being a MAN and trying to tell a WOMAN those words. If a MAN tells a woman and that, do you know what she will call you? INSECURE.
Why? Because a man is considered GUILTY until proven innocent.
If the man keeps old love letters, poems, pictures, etc. from his ex, he is insensitive, insecure, and doesn't have "faith" in his new relationship.
If the woman keeps old love letters, poems, pictures, etc. from her ex, she is "having tangible proof that you have been loved and cared by someone. It's basically an affirmation that the person is 'lovable' and worthwhile." (Wyldfire)
Wyldfire, you don't know what it is like being a MAN and trying to tell a WOMAN those words. If a MAN tells a woman and that, do you know what she will call you? INSECURE.
Why? Because a man is considered GUILTY until proven innocent.
Well...I don't think a man is insecure if he wants to save his memories and is sentimental. Some women might view it that way, but if they have a problem with a man being sentimental and saving those kinds of things then it is them (the women) who are insecure.
I think men save things for the same reason women do...although most would never admit it. But hey, they are human, too. Human beings have feelings and emotions regardless of their gender. That's normal, fully acceptable and anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth your time. It's really quite simple.
Oh...and although Feminism has brainwashed society into demonizing men...you don't have to embrace those messages or buy into them. A man should only carry guilt for his OWN wrong-doings...not for the bad behavior of others. That is one of the messages that Pook tried very hard to get across to the guys here. He's right...if a man embraces those negative messages they feel guilty for being a man. Don't do that to yourself.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
K B
Don Juan
Wyldfire, your answer is honest and fair. Unfortunatley, woman HAVE been brainwashed by feminism to demonize men. Let me tell you, it is no fun being made out to be the enemy for no other reason than because I am a MAN.
I just read a book last week, that completely blew my mind. It is about the effect of feminism on men and women today. It was written by former feminist activist Warren Farrell. For years he studied women and formed numerous groups for women's rights. Then one day he realized that men were not being heard, so he started to research the other side. What he finds is absolutely SHOCKING. You should check this one out:
Warren Farrell
"The Myth of Male Power"
I just read a book last week, that completely blew my mind. It is about the effect of feminism on men and women today. It was written by former feminist activist Warren Farrell. For years he studied women and formed numerous groups for women's rights. Then one day he realized that men were not being heard, so he started to research the other side. What he finds is absolutely SHOCKING. You should check this one out:
Warren Farrell
"The Myth of Male Power"
Heck, it can even be an advantage -- your girl starts talking about moving forward, why you eschew serious conversations, etc., just tell her you can move forward when it seems like she can let the past be the past.
It's very good to be aware of this problem in society and to resist it's influence. At the same time, you need to be very careful NOT to allow learning this to turn you into someone who behaves the same way only reversed. There is a fine balance to keep on this issue. I used to run a forum where radical feminists and radical men's rights advocates did battle. It was essentially uncensored. A lot of the guys that really get into this subject end up behaving just like the radical feminists they despise so much. Don't go that route...it's not helpful to you or the situation. It's best to acknowledge it and talk about it reasonably and fairly...then you can actually educate and change a few people's behaviors and thinking. If you react angrily you just become part of the problem. Remember that.
I have moved on. I'm able to love someone else in the same way...but those letters are priceless to me. I wouldn't trade them for all the money in the world. Anyone who wants a relationship with me needs to accept that or find someone else, period. This is one of the things I will not compromise on under any circumstances. If a guy can't respect and love me enough to accept this then he's not someone I want in my life. I couldn't care less if a guy wanted to call it quits over those letters, either. I would tell him to have a nice life and not shed a single tear. But that's just how I am...I have no problems or reservations about ending involvements that are restrictive, controlling or don't meet my standards. I'm not really very emotional, either.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
OH COME ON! It's not like she's sleeping with them under her pillow, or reading them over and over, sighing tearfully!
Women are pathetically sentimental. That's why we keep the ragged teddy bear we got for our 4th birthday, still have the dried up flowers from our prom corsage and just CAN'T throw away old love letters. Don't freak about it. It's perfectly normal and no disrespect towards you.
If you demand she get rid of them, then you just gave her ammunition for a nasty fight. "I had to give up something for you! What are YOU giving up for ME??"
Women are pathetically sentimental. That's why we keep the ragged teddy bear we got for our 4th birthday, still have the dried up flowers from our prom corsage and just CAN'T throw away old love letters. Don't freak about it. It's perfectly normal and no disrespect towards you.
If you demand she get rid of them, then you just gave her ammunition for a nasty fight. "I had to give up something for you! What are YOU giving up for ME??"
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
What's the problem?
I keep old letters from my exes, and would expect that anyone I'm dating would probably do so, too. Occasionally I'll read them for enjoyment and amusement, and I find it psyches me up a bit.
Let's not be ridiculous. Chill, bro.
I keep old letters from my exes, and would expect that anyone I'm dating would probably do so, too. Occasionally I'll read them for enjoyment and amusement, and I find it psyches me up a bit.
Let's not be ridiculous. Chill, bro.
MindOverMatter
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 21, 2004
- Messages
- 1,887
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jesus, they're just letters from the past, nothing more. there's a reason why they're exes and she's with you, stop being so insecure or you're gonna blow it.