Is this my Beta vibe..??

[Starwolf]

I'm kind of irritated... After a lot of reading the DJ bible and applying some of it's teachings

i'm still noticing how i'm being beta-shamed... I notice this especially with a female colleague. Other guys joke with her, even friendly touches like a playful tap on the shoulder and what not. She does not seem to mind this.

However when I make jokes etc she does not take it as funny and will tell me to show some respect etc.

yesterday I tried to show her something so i wanted to tap her but she made a go away motion and said not to touch her. later that day another male colleague came over, gave her on a few pats on the shoulder and nothing was wrong.

Anyways i don't want to get with this girl or anything. But this is irritating i don't want to deal with this attitude and having to walk on eggshells around her while others are allowed to just be free.

Any tips on how to handle this?

if not where can I buy some Alpha Cologne?

 

[AttackFormation]

Yeah I have a tip... stop obsessing over how this one woman thinks about you...

 

[dutchmaster]

maybe shes not comfortable around you yet. those other guys have prob been friendly with her for a while as opposed to you starting recently you know? regardless it's work bro focus on your job before you get a sxual harassment suit against you

 

[Starwolf]

Yeah I have a tip... stop obsessing over how this one woman thinks about you...

Good tip, Thanks.

However I have to deal with her everyday...i can't just ignore her. Which i try tp do most of the time now. but she keeps requesting me for work related stuff etc.

 

[Starwolf]

maybe shes not comfortable around you yet. those other guys have prob been friendly with her for a while as opposed to you starting recently you know? regardless it's work bro focus on your job before you get a sxual harassment suit against you

LoL, thats the thing i'm not trying to get with her.

Just being myself. If i have to stop being myself and tone it down than i'm precisely doing what all females want of Beta Males. To get Back in Line...

 

[RangerMIke]

If you are touching her and she obviously doesn't welcome this, then stop. You are getting too far ahead of yourself. Many Americans don't know how to fvcking do this properly, they look where they are going to touch first (gag), makes it look like you are experimenting, or they touch a woman like they are touching a hot stove. It's disturbing... And if I think it's disturbing watching it, then you know the woman is also going to be turned off by this.

You have a Beta history with this woman, you can't just turn on a switch and have her see you as something else. You have in the time you have known her given her an impression of who you are. And that impression is someone that does not touch... if you all the sudden start doing this, she sees this as incongruent. You may have also noticed that some of your friends are uncomfortable with what you are becoming... this is normal.

What you should do at this point is change your mannerisms. When she asks you for help on things tell her no, unless you have to, than say stuff like "Well what are you offering in exchange." with a little grin. Don't get your @ss fired, but you have to start being a little less compliant.

Another thing you can do is change your wardrobe. Go spend some money and get some clothes that suits your body, nice stuff, make a real effort to improve your appearance, this will signal visually that you have changed. Work on your body, get some muscles and work out.

I'll tell you the one thing that I have that ALWAYS allows me to break the touch barrier early... which means I can excellerate really fast is I speak French. Learn French... I know it sounds crazy but it works... at least in the US, never tried this in Europe... likely would not work as well.

Walk up to a woman with a big smile and say "Vous êtes la plus belle femme dans la salle!" If she says, "Merci, vous parlez français?" then you just continue in French... works like a charm. If she says "What did you say?" Then you continue in English and tease her a bit about being a mono-lingual typical American... do it in a playful way and get her to try and coax the translation out of you. Anyway, what this does is that immediately associates you to the French... and for some reason, American women just fvcking accept the fact that French guys are touchy... This likely works with Italian, Greek, Portugese, anything from Southern Europe as well.... but I don't know those languages. So you can start breaking the touch barrier early.

This is why European guys do so well with American women... they can break the touch barrier early and often. But if a woman sees you as a guy that does not 'touch' then she will be uncomfortable with you doing this.

 

[Yewki]

The problem is you care too much. You care too much about her reaction.

You state you're not interested in hooking up with her, as if to imply this is just for educational purposes, but that doesn't change the fact you've invested way too much time and energy on her. And that is the problem, you pedestalize her. You want to win her affection as if it's some big prize.

I'm guessing she can pick up on the fact that you think tapping her on the shoulder is a big deal. She can probably read the signs, the verbal and non verbal cues. And she's probably creeped out by it. But then again maybe you're a natural alpha and she's just a *****. Either way, stop caring so much.

Focus on being the best person you can, and if she gives you the evil eye just be the bigger person about it. Don't bend over backwards to accomodate or please someone who doesn't appreciate you.

 

[Starwolf]

The problem is you care too much. You care too much about her reaction.

You state you're not interested in hooking up with her, as if to imply this is just for educational purposes, but that doesn't change the fact you've invested way too much time and energy on her. And that is the problem, you pedestalize her. You want to win her affection as if it's some big prize.

Pedestalizng,.. affection... from a woman? No dude i'm passed that stage. I don't seek affection from women nor do I Pedestalize them.

In this case It just feels like disrespect... why do i have to behave a certain way while others get free play. That's what's bugging me


RangerMike made a good point.. my behavior may not have been congruent enough.

 

[Yewki]

Pedestalizng,.. affection... from a woman? No dude i'm passed that stage. I don't seek affection from women nor do I Pedestalize them.

Let me ask you this. If this was a guy coworker, would you have posted on the internet about it?

Also keep in mind a lot of people think they're "alpha" when in reality they're just passionate betas in denial. So when you say you're "passed that stage" of pedestalizing women, I take that with a big grain of salt. Don't mistake passion with ability.

 

[Trump]

I'm kind of irritated... After a lot of reading the DJ bible and applying some of it's teachings

i'm still noticing how i'm being beta-shamed... I notice this especially with a female colleague. Other guys joke with her, even friendly touches like a playful tap on the shoulder and what not. She does not seem to mind this.

You don't know why she doesn't mind, they could be doing stuff for her or paying her.

However when I make jokes etc she does not take it as funny and will tell me to show some respect etc.

Thats because your jokes are NOT funny bro. If you were funny she would be all over you. You have to work on your comedic skills.

yesterday I tried to show her something so i wanted to tap her but she made a go away motion and said not to touch her. later that day another male colleague came over, gave her on a few pats on the shoulder and nothing was wrong.

Anyways i don't want to get with this girl or anything. But this is irritating i don't want to deal with this attitude and having to walk on eggshells around her while others are allowed to just be free.

Any tips on how to handle this?

If you care that much...

Do you have an OK looking sister or friend? Get them to come down for lunch one day while the coworker is there, have them really laugh at your jokes and touch you while your coworker is watching.

Anything you say won't work with her, she has to know other females find you semi-attractive. :trouble: