Is this morally wrong?

[Duracell_Bunny]

To cut it short I've been dating this girl for around 3 months. Around the first month I was a little distant as I was dating another chick who I had much more interest in but I blew it.

This chick I'm seeing now is an absolute gem, although its not like shes unattractive or anything, there’s just something about her looks that I don't like with the whole package. I reckon she could easily be a hb7 but she never wears a dress when out around the bars etc. and always covers up her best assets such as those long legs and huge breasts of hers. I think its also that her dress sense isn't to my taste and I would prefer her with longer hair as what she has now makes her look older.

For that reason I feel a bit reluctant on being seen with her.

I don't think I'm emotionally attached to her. She hasn't given the "what are we?" speech yet. I think the only reason for this is she sees me as a bit of a player, e.g. when we first started dating and I'd get a text message she used to say things like "which girl is that?". Apart from that her interest is appears to be ridiculous.

I'm keeping to seeing her about once or twice a week at the most, but she is constantly asking to see me more. Shes a 35min drive from my place, yet she always drives all that way, insists to pay for EVERYTHING, like if I put some notes down on the bar or whatever she will slide them back. We even grabbed a random meal once and she paid the whole bill refusing my input. She hasn't yet declined anything, I'm sure shes turning her friends down when I suggest something, she has not once refused to coming back to my place. Unless they went by unnoticed, I haven’t come across any sh1t tests yet. Shes also begun putting statuses about me on Facebook like "had such a great time with Duracell last night", "can't wait untill tonight with Duracell" etc. etc. you get the picture. Even one comment on there with a dude saying "I hear you got yourself a fella at last" with her response "Yes I think I'm onto a good one so I have a smile on my face".

The sexual rapport (if you call it that) is great, last time we were at it about four times throughout the night and didn't get any sleep. The best sex I've had yet, (she gives a lot) shes also the first chick to make me cvm so I better change my username.

She doesn't live too close or too far away. Not yet asked for any commitment, we get along great and always have a good laugh.

For my inner game I don't feel really happy like I have done for other women in the past, I just feel everything is nicely balanced.

While she is probably LTR material I just wouldn't commit cos of the appearance issue.

I will admit I'm just keeping it rolling along until I find something more attractive, is that just plain wrong? I would rather not loose this one as this is all I have right now with no other potentials.

I know many may give the usual "go out meet more women" thing, yes I'm onto that but I'm new at this and sometimes I can go months without even a number. This chick gives me something to fall back on. I'd prefer to be watching a DVD at home with a chick blowing me off when I'm free, rather than being at home alone if you know what I mean.

Other than that, its the perfect situation for me. I just don't hope shes won't get too attached to me, but Im worrying I may be potentinally using her.

 

[5string]

You are using her. What's wrong with an HB7? Obviously she isnt quite what you desire. If she's that eager to please, tell her you think she'd look nice in a dress and heels? She'll probably step up for you. Roles are reversed here. She has you on the pedestal and your IL has dropped. Not the other way around.

 

[SoldMySoul]

You are using her. What's wrong with an HB7? Obviously she isnt quite what you desire. If she's that eager to please, tell her you think she'd look nice in a dress and heels? She'll probably step up for you. Roles are reversed here. She has you on the pedestal and your IL has dropped. Not the other way around.

I agree with this too. Also, if she is so eager to please you; she will happily dress up for you. When you got a good thing you do not blow it. Keep it up and she will find someone else that will appreciate the Hb7 in her.

What exactly is it that you do not like about her looks????

 

[FairShake]

She sounds like an AFC. It's really only morally wrong if you are lying to her and telling her it will become something it won't. Otherwise it's fair in my book.

 

[maqnetik]

if it feels wrong chances are it probobly is. honesty is always the best policy when it comes to matters of the heart.

 

[Pimply_Pimp]

You are using her. What's wrong with an HB7? Obviously she isnt quite what you desire. If she's that eager to please, tell her you think she'd look nice in a dress and heels? She'll probably step up for you. Roles are reversed here. She has you on the pedestal and your IL has dropped. Not the other way around.

Doesn't everyone who's married have their wife/husband on a pedestal?

Otherwise, they wouldn't be married.

 

[yuppaz]

If you aren't clear with her about where you are at & are intentionally misleading her then I would consider it morally wrong, but then again morals are personal. Mine aren't yours. If you feel bad about it, you should tell her the truth. You may lose a FB though. Another thing you can do is lines up some other girls before telling her so you skip any dry spell.

 

[Elky]

Are you ready to settle for her?

You aren't married to her.
You are only dating her.
You aren't attracted to her by much.

Talk to other girls that are better.

Never settle for less than your ideal woman!

Good luck.

 

[jonathan200]

is ok for me I agree with this too

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Are you ready to settle for her?

You aren't attracted to her by much.
.

^ I think this has nailed it. I wouldn't consier her something to settle with, but dare I say it would genuinly LJBF her if I find something better.

It's odd that I find this one a high quality girl thats difficult to fault, my expectations with women in general was very low in that sense before I met her and really thought all women were just b1tches, but for some reason we go on about this as the ideal chick but I'm just not that keen, I don't know what it is.

As for the appearence, its not that she doesn't look feminine enough, she doesn't look sexy. Her clothing is very reserved and a bit too respectible The only bit of flesh that can be seen in public is her hands and face, she was like this also in the middle of summer!

I'm suspicous she used to be a bit overwieght and maybe shes got something in the basement stoppin her showing herself off. She has definetly lost a bit since we first met. It wasn't until we met one time, she turned up wearing tight leggings and a tight long sleeved t-shirt I was thinkin wow! she can do so much better with herself, especially in the coming months if she keeps hittin the gym so oftern.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Ok I've had some progress. She came out the other evening in a dress and high heals, not to my request she arrived dressed like this out of the blue. I playfully asked why she always covers up her legs about a week ago when she mentioned loosing 3 stone in weight over the past 6 months.

Anyway, this has created a new problem. In the nightclub I'm not sure whether or not she got approached but she was chatting and being flirty with a few guys, and I even saw her having a quick dance with a couple. Would you consider this a stupid game where she is trying to make us become exclusive or is it basically she's enjoying the newly found attention and confidence boost. Note that it wasnt just us two on this night, she was out with her friends and I was out with mine and met unplanned.

Whether this had anything to do with this or not, she did hint on becoming exclusive when we got onto that subject of ex's. I didn't go into great detail, she asked how long I was seeing my ex for before we got together (told her 6 months, it was actually 2) and her response was "I have to wait that long!". I'd rather have avoided the topic but at least she should have gathered if she does me wrong I will cut contact, not that it matters anyway.

I considered her actions above as lowered IL but then she introduced me to her parents the day after when I dropped her off at home!!! I didn't get a choice I'm sure she manipulated me into it, she is currently living with her parents.

Theres not much I can do as were not offically together, I don't want a relationship with her, but at the same time I don't want to loose her until I'm ready (e.g. regulary dating a more attractive chick with high IL).

 

[DangNammit]

You know it's wrong or you wouldn't be asking.

You are setting her up for a hurting and you know it, AND you're doing it for selfish reasons.
Be a man. Go-it-alone and find what you're looking for... Don't use this girl as a stepping-stone. Let her know you have no intentions of having ltr with her. If she's okay as fb, fine... BUT if you continue doing this and she's thinking it's going somewhere, that's pretty weak.

Good luck...

 

[Warrior74]

You know it's wrong or you wouldn't be asking.

You are setting her up for a hurting and you know it, AND you're doing it for selfish reasons.
Be a man. Go-it-alone and find what you're looking for... Don't use this girl as a stepping-stone. Let her know you have no intentions of having ltr with her. If she's okay as fb, fine... BUT if you continue doing this and she's thinking it's going somewhere, that's pretty weak.

Good luck...

The difference between a man and a woman? A woman would just branch swing at this point, leaving the poor befuddled guy to end up at SS posting about why his relationship went wrong. A man would get told the "be a man" "do the right thing" "step up the the plate and be honest" and break up with her.

A true player plays the same game women play and treats women the same way women treat men. Which is why you get that situation where some chic is crying to some AFC who secretly loves her, about the jerk who cheated on her and broke her heart.

 

[DanelMadr]

The difference between a man and a woman? A woman would just branch swing at this point, leaving the poor befuddled guy to end up at SS posting about why his relationship went wrong. A man would get told the "be a man" "do the right thing" "step up the the plate and be honest" and break up with her.

A true player plays the same game women play and treats women the same way women treat men. Which is why you get that situation where some chic is crying to some AFC who secretly loves her, about the jerk who cheated on her and broke her heart.

Yeah I said that once "Girls are playing games. Men don't". Playing it to seek revenge or ego boost is f@cking lame.

To OP>
You are the fashion police now?
I could understand if you said that something is wrong and you don't feel the right chemistry...but wrong clothes? Or showing her around like trophy so you can masturbate your ego?...that is wrong. Not morally but for you as a Man. You don't need a trophy girlfriend/ho showing boobs.

Hell, if she can make you ***, has high IL and is fun to be around...you are lucky don't let your ego fvck this up.

On other hand if you don't see a future with her because you are not that attracted to her, well, then eject. If you want to be nice to her, start putting her on pedestal and be needy...she will be gone before you say "Ich gonna spritz lieblieng."

 

[DangNammit]

The difference between a man and a woman? A woman would just branch swing at this point, leaving the poor befuddled guy to end up at SS posting about why his relationship went wrong. A man would get told the "be a man" "do the right thing" "step up the the plate and be honest" and break up with her.

A true player plays the same game women play and treats women the same way women treat men. Which is why you get that situation where some chic is crying to some AFC who secretly loves her, about the jerk who cheated on her and broke her heart.

You've made my point Warrior... is he a man or does he play girlie games?

 

[Kailex]

Ok I've had some progress. She came out the other evening in a dress and high heals, not to my request she arrived dressed like this out of the blue. I playfully asked why she always covers up her legs about a week ago when she mentioned loosing 3 stone in weight over the past 6 months.

She's upped the ante.

Anyway, this has created a new problem. In the nightclub I'm not sure whether or not she got approached but she was chatting and being flirty with a few guys, and I even saw her having a quick dance with a couple. Would you consider this a stupid game where she is trying to make us become exclusive or is it basically she's enjoying the newly found attention and confidence boost. Note that it wasnt just us two on this night, she was out with her friends and I was out with mine and met unplanned.

Timeline is confusing.
Was this the night she was in a dress and heels?

Looks like ever since she dressed up, there might be a shift in IL on your part. Now you're worried about her talking to other people? Why?

Whether this had anything to do with this or not, she did hint on becoming exclusive when we got onto that subject of ex's. I didn't go into great detail, she asked how long I was seeing my ex for before we got together (told her 6 months, it was actually 2) and her response was "I have to wait that long!". I'd rather have avoided the topic but at least she should have gathered if she does me wrong I will cut contact, not that it matters anyway.

She hinted it.
That's not enough. You're a man, play dumb like a man and don't say anything until she OUTRIGHT says it.

And don't think she can understand your motives either. She doesn't know what they are.

I considered her actions above as lowered IL but then she introduced me to her parents the day after when I dropped her off at home!!! I didn't get a choice I'm sure she manipulated me into it, she is currently living with her parents.

So?

Theres not much I can do as were not offically together, I don't want a relationship with her, but at the same time I don't want to loose her until I'm ready (e.g. regulary dating a more attractive chick with high IL).

So?

Look, you HAVE a choice. You have a choice to NOT do anything. You don't have to become official and you don't have to lose her. You can choose to keep the situation as-is.

Right now, to her, you are the Great White Challenge. And as soon as you stop being a challenge, the sooner she'll start getting comfortable. You have to realize that you don't want her to EVER get comfortable. It's fine to get into an LTR, if YOU WANT IT.

What's morally wrong is getting into a serious relationship with someone you really don't want to be with.

You still haven't done that, from what I've read so far.