Is this hoovering?

[sadonomspa]

Haven't spoken to my wife in 3 weeks. She texted me "Hey!" last night at around 7pm.

I am sure you know she wanted a divorce etc. But I have been doing NC for 4 weeks and it got better after 2 weeks in terms of me finally being stable enough to get on with life.

I am really debating whether I should text somthing back or not. Will I just fall into the vicious cycle and all my healing these last few weeks are garbage?

Also I love the term sh*t test. I find it everywhere I go and have been getting my way with things as of late.

 

[jophil28]

Any attempt by a her to draw you into a convo is a thinly disguised attempt to reconnect with you for HER OWN BENEFIT,whatever that benefit may be.

Your only justification to reply to her would be when it were to YOUR benefit to speak to her.
IF you cannot see a clear and direct reward to YOU, do not reply.

Any reply by you merely as a reaction to her text would draw you into her agenda. And believe me, women always have an agenda.

Step #1 in a separation is to disentangle yourself from her web of manipulation.

 

[Bible_Belt]

a thinly disguised attempt to reconnect with you for HER OWN BENEFIT,whatever that benefit may be.


She's just checking to see if you have slept with someone else yet, because she feels a little guilty that she already has. She wants you to get laid, because that is the only way that the two of you can be back on level ground. That is the benefit she is after.

 

[sadonomspa]

So I texted her back a day and a half later. I just said "Hello" then she texted me this morning "Did you text me at midnight? I just got it.."

In my newly formed brain (lots of help from reading here) is that translation for "Why did you text me so late were you with another woman?"

I am very hesitant to text her when I know she is free because then we wont stop texting back and fourth

 

[JCballin88]

And here I thought this topic was going to be about vacuums...

 

[women haze]

Why should you be so afraid to text your own wife? damn man you stood infront of friends and family and exchanged Vows.


I swear what is the point in Marriage if you have to tip toe around your own damn wife.

 

[sadonomspa]

It is more then sying vows etc. This woman has issues in her head. I was the classic victim of a BPD and I am seeking advice from others who have been through this.

I am only going to text her back really late when I know she is sleeping

 

[sadonomspa]

Hey guys so check this out.

So she texted me "Hello" again after I ignored her text the other day asking if I really texted her at midnight.

Anyway she said "How are you" I said "I am doing great and you?" then she texts me back "Sorry I have been MIA, I have been working alot its been crazy and I am still getting my house together I just got internet so I can email you now,are you working?"

I did not reply back to her because now I am thinking she is making it seem like she is the one who is not contacting me when in all instances I stopped contacting her.

Whats the take on this? Is she feeling guilt of some sort now? I purposly do not respond to her right away. I find that when I am desperate things come out wrong so I just shut up.

 

[Lloyd]

hey mate be man Ask her what she want !!!

Be sure not to give it to her... EVER

judging by your post tone you don't seem over her yet. So get what YOU want if not with her then elsewhere

Just hang on buddy

 

[sadonomspa]

So her best friend who happened to be my friend as well contacted me on facebook. I added her after the engagement party two summers ago.
I put a status on my facebook "I am in love" basically I heard a song and fell inlove with it.

So her friend contacts me and asks me "is the girl in the picture with you the person you are in love with"?

Thought this was interesting seeing as how my wife facebook name appeared on my buddy list which means she activated it again only to deactivate it.

Anyway I told her friend it was just a song and nothing else then the friend stops talking to me like she is interested in what I have to say and just tells me she has work and has to go.

Haha what bull crap is that