Is this guy right about No Contact not working?

jnMissouri

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First he says it works differently for women and men. That it works well when women use it on men, but usually when a woman breaks up with a guy it's because she isn't attracted to him at all anymore and that going no contact for 7 days is better than 30 days because it gives her space but not so much so that she completely moves on considering she lost her attraction already that led to the break up.

But later in the article I think he is saying that in situations where attraction still exists and you guys had a fight and she walked or you walked, then YES, in those cases strict no contact works. Is that what he is really saying? And do you agree?

https://www.themodernman.com/blog/the-horrible-truth-about-the-no-contact-rule.html


Choosing the right approach for you now
One final point that I want to make during this video, is that it’s up to you what approach you take to get your ex back from this point onwards.

If you feel as though cutting off contact with her will result in her missing you terribly and contacting you and wanting to get back with you, then go ahead and do that.

However, if you’re in a situation like most guys are, where your woman doesn’t have strong feelings for you anymore or doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore, then just understand that the No Contact Rule is almost certainly not going to work for you.

What I see work for guys in your situation is where a guy interacts with his woman again and makes her feel attracted.

He reawakens her feelings.

He reactivates her feelings.

She starts feeling attracted to him in new and more interesting ways.

He has leveled up as a man.

He’s so much more attractive and appealing to her now because he’s no longer making the type of mistakes that caused her to feel turned off by him before.

For example, he’s so much more confident now.

When he interacts with her, he creates a sexual vibe between him and her.

She can’t stop herself from wanting to be in his arms, kiss him and hookup with him sexually.

She wants to get back in a relationship with him now.

So, use the approach that you think will work for you.

If you think that cutting off contact will cause her to come running back, go ahead and do it.

On the other hand, if you think that she’s probably just going to move on and isn’t going to be worried about you not contacting her, then I recommend that you do something about it.

I recommend that you take control of the ex back process by interacting with her and making her feel attracted to you again.

Give her a reason to want to get back with you now.
 

speed dawg

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No, he's not right. The first give away is that he calls himself a "modern man". By the way, I didn't click your link. I didn't need to.

Here's the deal. It's not that No Contact will ALWAYS work. It won't, as you said, sometimes the girl is just gone. But it's literally the ONLY thing that MAY work.
 

Robert28

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If a girl is seeing 4-5 different guys and you go no contact then she’s likely not to even notice you’re gone. However, say you and your girlfriend have a fight and she’s like “it’s over, I don’t want to see you anymore, goodbye!” then you go no contact and MAYBE she reaches out.
 

Kotaix

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If a woman has monkey branched away from you, or left because she's no longer attracted, contacting her is self-defeating and only serves to **** with your head. If she doesn't want you, she doesn't want you.

A self-respecting guy should not go back to an ex unless there's very good reason, like a misunderstanding between a couple that get along very well, or if there are kids in the relationship that should have both parents around.
 

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jnMissouri

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No contact is for yourself, it sometime have the side benefit of attract8ng ex back when she thinks you are now ober her.

Yeah, according to the article it was originally recommended by therapists to get over someone. I've found that on day 9, I've had a wide range of emotions. Sometimes I'm like wow, what did I ever see in her. Other times like last night laying in bed, that feeling in the pit of my stomach reared it's head.
 

lamath

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Yeah, according to the article it was originally recommended by therapists to get over someone. I've found that on day 9, I've had a wide range of emotions. Sometimes I'm like wow, what did I ever see in her. Other times like last night laying in bed, that feeling in the pit of my stomach reared it's head.
Man 9 days is nothing, it can take month and years.
With a strong will and a abundance mindset you canbget over it faster
 

jnMissouri

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Man 9 days is nothing, it can take month and years.
With a strong will and a abundance mindset you canbget over it faster
Yeah, I keep thinking to myself, I think I liked her because she was not just sweet and wild, but also didn't play games, was always available to me, the sex was amazin, etc.

But at the same time I'm highly educated, very wealthy, etc. She has no job, no career, can't fix her car, can't take care of herself or her 3 kids (who live with her parents). She's not dependable, a free spirit. Divorced four times at 36. I'm responsible and put together and she is not. Initially this attracted us to each other, we were opposites and could learn from each other. But eventually the differences led to too many arguments and we split.

I know I should focus on finding someone more stable, but at the same time when you love someone and care about them, you want to stay in their life to watch over them. I'm waiting for her to contact me. I've drafted an email with the help of a friend in case she doesn't, to at least not leave things on a bad note the day things ended.
 

speed dawg

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Yeah, I keep thinking to myself, I think I liked her because she was not just sweet and wild, but also didn't play games, was always available to me, the sex was amazin, etc.

But at the same time I'm highly educated, very wealthy, etc. She has no job, no career, can't fix her car, can't take care of herself or her 3 kids (who live with her parents). She's not dependable, a free spirit. Divorced four times at 36. I'm responsible and put together and she is not. Initially this attracted us to each other, we were opposites and could learn from each other. But eventually the differences led to too many arguments and we split.

I know I should focus on finding someone more stable, but at the same time when you love someone and care about them, you want to stay in their life to watch over them. I'm waiting for her to contact me. I've drafted an email with the help of a friend in case she doesn't, to at least not leave things on a bad note the day things ended.
What the fook are you gonna learn? How to have no job, no career, not to fix a care, not to take of yourself and how to have bastard kids?

Do you think about the things you type?
 

jnMissouri

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What the fook are you gonna learn? How to have no job, no career, not to fix a care, not to take of yourself and how to have bastard kids?

Do you think about the things you type?
Uhhhh...DO YOU THINK BEFORE YOU POST???

Studies show our personality types are attracted to each other because we are opposites and complete each other. I'm rigid and put together, she's reckless and free spirited. That's what attracts us to each other because neither of us is capable of being the other person. So we complete each other. I can learn how to not be so rigid and she can learn a bit more discipline and work ethic.
 

Alvafe

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from where i'm free spirited is almost the same as slut
 

Kotaix

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Can't take care of herself or her 3 kids (who live with her parents).
What the everloving fvck are you doing pining over a woman who isn't raising her own children? And wasn't this a massive red flag to you when you met her? The sex is amazing because she probably has some form of personality disorder, the fact that she can't raise her kids is 100% proof of that.

You're being captain-save-a-ho with someone who has a proven track record of being fickle and irresponsible. Do NOT get involved with this woman again, she is just going to hurt you more.
 

jnMissouri

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What the everloving fvck are you doing pining over a woman who isn't raising her own children? And wasn't this a massive red flag to you when you met her? The sex is amazing because she probably has some form of personality disorder, the fact that she can't raise her kids is 100% proof of that.

You're being captain-save-a-ho with someone who has a proven track record of being fickle and irresponsible. Do NOT get involved with this woman again, she is just going to hurt you more.

As I said in a different thread on this subject, yes that was a red flag to me early on. And I only found that out a few months in. But it was a concern for me. As were all the divorces. I'm just moving on to other women. Yeah, she has a PD for sure, I recognize it. I see the same pattern of behavior during dating and in the relationship that I saw with two other ex's. During the time we got to know each other better that thought kept popping up in my head. But OCD people like me are drawn to HPD people like her according to studies. It's hard to break the cycle. It's our genetic programming. I realize it logically. But our decisions are not logical. And honestly I don't want a relationship with her anymore, I realize she is not relationship material. I just want to bang her a few more times lol.
 

Roober

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No contact has nothing to do with getting the woman back. It has to do with fixing yourself, often resulting in you not wanting her back.
 

Mauser96

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No contact has nothing to do with getting the woman back. It has to do with fixing yourself, often resulting in you not wanting her back.

Read this 1000 times until it is burned into your mind.
 
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Epic Days

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No. I don't believe it works and never did. He won't be able to stop thinking about it. Some men just like some women are ruined for life. It's rather senseless to be ruined and cut off from pair-bonding with another but it's better to concentrate on the ones that can move on away from the Cluster "B" threads or make their way through the upset and rage.

This is why it's crucial to crush the "soul mate" concept from a man's vernacular and thinking.
 
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