Is this girl too self-centered

[TempestNight]

I have been seeing this girl for the past two weeks. I think I have sealed the deal, I used the jealousy game, I pretended to be really mad when she lied to me and flirted with her BFF. On the third date she told me she was really upset that I was mad at her and she thinks I was going for her BFF. I asked her does that hurt you, and she said it hurts her more than she thought. Several more dates later she said I bring out the best and the worst in her, she said she feels really comfortable around me and she hasn't felt like that around a guy for a long time, she said she told me things she would never tell any other guys, after a date she would text me that she misses me and she would dream of me, etc, etc.

However I can't help but notice her major flaws, I find her very inattentive, besides the first few dates, she rarely asks me questions about me even when I intentionally leave her information about me to talk about. She rarely talks about herself either until I ask her questions and even then it's a few simple answers.

I try to explain this with two interpretations, 1) She only wants to flirt and have fun and isn't interested in serious stuff

2) She is self-centered, this is probably because she got out from a highly abusive marriage a few years ago and she can't bother to think of anyone else but herself


What do you guys think, is this girl just flakey? Unstable? Is she worth the trouble if you are me?

 

[pdx1138]

It's quite common, the self-centered woman. Emotions rule them and win.

From what you describe, she will be a roller-coaster ride with great high's and potentially painful lows. I've been there before and wouldn't go through it again, but if you never have, maybe you should for the learning experience.

 

[The_411]

Sounds like a winner... proceed full speed ahead /sarcasm off...


Massive red flags already cropping up especially the dreaming of you part ... and telling you stuff she wouldn't tell other guys.

I might be overly sensitive to it, but my BPD radar is picking up strong signals here:

1. Abusive marriage
2. dreaming of you
3. telling you things she doesn't tell other guys
4. self-centered

These certainly range a bell with my BPDex
1. Most people wouldn't open up about this for a long time on the other hand BPD's will talk about this to get you into captain save a ho mentality
2. Again excessive idealization is a hallmark of BPD
3. This is a lure to make you feel that you are special usually see this from married guys cheating on their wives and telling their affair partners this as a hook but you do also see this from BPD women to hook you in
4. self-centered- not good BPD women are all about them.

Eject as fast as possible. She's damanged goods, doesn't seem to care about you and she's playing silly games.

 

[TempestNight]

UPDATE:

I read you two's comment, thanks for the feedback and your thoughts guys. I met her yesterday. I want to take a shot at it and just tell her what I really think, I thought that if she responds badly to it and it doesn't work out, then it doesn't, no big deal.

I came clean and told her that I find it hard to talk to her sometimes when she hardly tell me stuff about her life, when she hardly takes an interest in my life, etc. I was surprised when she told me that she backed off a bit from me when I turned a bit too serious after the first week of dating. It really shocked me because i had no idea i came off like that. She told me it really wasn't anything i did wrong, it's just that she has trust issues and natural emotional defense after being abused by the man she loved in her first marriage.

So I told her I would be more casual from now on and she said ok. For the first time she asked me about my life, and I told her, the conversation was great, it flowed naturally, so did the flirting.

That night we had sex for the very first time and it was some of the best and most passionate sex I have ever had for a long time....she hasn't done it for years after her failed marriage. She had a very responsive and sensitive body because of that.


Maybe pdx1138 is still right though, maybe she will be a rollercoaster ride. But sometimes when you really like a woman I guess you just come to accept the risks that come with it.

I will see how it goes and keep you guys updated. Thanks a lot again for all your feedbacks brothers.

 

[Tiguere]

Im not surprised she gave u good sex. Thats their hook. Since you got this one in the bag time to go find more. THERE IS NO ONE STOP SHOPPING.