"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Is this girl a loss?

Epicwinguy

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I used to work with this really cute girl. We got along pretty well, but she had a boyfriend. The whole time I had this feeling though, real or imagined, that she woulda liked me as more than a friend. She seemed to really enjoy my company.

I quit a few weeks ago, then just a couple days ago I visit the place to get some breakfast, and guess who is there and thrilled to see me? This very girl. She says she misses me, we catch up, then as I am sitting eating my food she tells me her boyfriend broke up with her. Then she pauses. Then she says it sucks not to have a boyfriend. Then she pauses. Then she says "Oh well" and goes back to her work.

Well I just kinda froze there in that moment as I ate my sandwich. Said nothing. I feel what I did was the wrong thing to do but I mean she was at work? What was I going to ask her out while she is on the clock trying to work?

I'm thinking about asking her out over text or next week but would that just be wasted effort? Im so lost from being out of the game for so long. Should I call this a loss and just forget her?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
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I used to work with this really cute girl. We got along pretty well, but she had a boyfriend. The whole time I had this feeling though, real or imagined, that she woulda liked me as more than a friend. She seemed to really enjoy my company.

I quit a few weeks ago, then just a couple days ago I visit the place to get some breakfast, and guess who is there and thrilled to see me? This very girl. She says she misses me, we catch up, then as I am sitting eating my food she tells me her boyfriend broke up with her. Then she pauses. Then she says it sucks not to have a boyfriend. Then she pauses. Then she says "Oh well" and goes back to her work.

Well I just kinda froze there in that moment as I ate my sandwich. Said nothing. I feel what I did was the wrong thing to do but I mean she was at work? What was I going to ask her out while she is on the clock trying to work?

I'm thinking about asking her out over text or next week but would that just be wasted effort? Im so lost from being out of the game for so long. Should I call this a loss and just forget her?
No biggie, you will see her again or setup a meeting.
 

TheMonkeyKing

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I feel what I did was the wrong thing to do but I mean she was at work?
You're making excuses for yourself here, sausage. You could have suggested going for a drink; it wouldn't have taken 20 seconds to have that exchange.

...she tells me her boyfriend broke up with her. Then she pauses. Then she says it sucks not to have a boyfriend. Then she pauses. Then she says "Oh well" and goes back to her work.
She does not sound upset in the slightest. She says it sucks not to have a boyfriend, not that boyfriend. She's basically telling you to ask her out in womanspeak. I would bang her but not be her bf; she sounds like a branch-swinger.

I'm thinking about asking her out over text or next week but would that just be wasted effort?
No. Be a man, grow a pair and go back in to wherever it is when you know she'll be there and you ask her out face to face.

She's probably got 10 guys texting her. But not one of them will walk up to her and ask her out in person. Be different.
 
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