Is this disrespect?

[SHChamp]

So, there's this girl that I have been seeing for a while, she has been one of the plates, but as time passed the rest came to fall. I hope I am not developing oneitis.

Anyhow, this girl has a group of 'friends' which I absolutely do not like. These group of people have wronged me in the past, and I cut them off completely. They also did her wrong several times, in which I stood up for her at the time and put them all in their place.

A few days ago, she tells me that she is hanging out with those exact same people. I told her that I think it's bull**** that she is with them, and flat out disrespectful towards me to hang out with them after all they did.

She agreed that she would be pissed off as well if the roles were reversed, and I had thought that we came to an agreement to set their distance from them.

Less than 24 hours later I ask her what she's doing, and her response is that she is hanging out with those exact same people. I told her to have fun, I cut off the conversation and went ghost. Today she texts me with this:

Her: Are you still mad at me?
Me: I made clear to you what I thought of you being with them.
Me: Even after all that talk, you still decide to do it anyway. That's wrong, and it's disrespectful. I don't tolerate or accept that.
Her: Wrong and disrespectful is telling me who to spend time with.
Me: Yeah, that's bull****. We talked about this already, you know why it pisses me off, and you do it anyway.
Me: If you'd rather spend time with them, nobody is holding you back, enjoy.
Her: Wow. I know that you don't care and all that stuff, but sometimes it's nice to think about other people's feelings.
Her: I'm not doing that because it pisses you off, I'm doing that because they are my friends from a long time ago.

I am giving you guys the entire situation, uncut, please be completely honest what you think about this and how I should respond. If I am flat out wrong, do say so and argument. I am more than glad to hear your thoughts, any of them!

 

[Greasy Pig]

The hard arse thing to do is say: "That's ok", then just withdraw attention.
It seems to me she's trying to pick a fight and you're buying into it.
I'd try not reacting but just not being available for a while and see if she gets the coded message.
No matter what you say, her hamster has made her believe her actions are warranted.
Nuke the hamster by avoiding direct confrontation and just get busy not hanging out with her as much.

 

[TheException]

Exactly as Greasy stated.......you need to stop communicating OVERTLY(using words) and start communicating COVERTLY(withdraw your attention).

The whole conversation was predictable as I was reading it......want to know what happens when men OVERTLY try to "punish" a plate or girlfriend? You become the "crazy controlling boyfriend"............

Its not disrespectful. She can hang out with whoever....if you dont like it.....then withdraw attention, dont try to "change" her.

 

[JoeMarron]

You said you dropped all your plates but you didn't say anything about a relationship so I'm assuming she's still just a plate. Would you tell one of your bros who to hang out with? Sure it might be a lame thing to do but she's a plate, she doesn't owe you sh!t. She has no obligation to coddle your feelings. Let this go. If you don't want to associate with her anymore then that's fine but there was no need to bring down the hammer.

Exactly as Greasy stated.......you need to stop communicating OVERTLY(using words) and start communicating COVERTLY(withdraw your attention).

The whole conversation was predictable as I was reading it......want to know what happens when men OVERTLY try to "punish" a plate or girlfriend? You become the "crazy controlling boyfriend"............

Its not disrespectful. She can hang out with whoever....if you dont like it.....then withdraw attention, dont try to "change" her.

Nailed it. Even if she was a girlfriend you already told her your expectations and she disrespected them. All you had to do was pull back.

 

[SHChamp]

Alright, got it guys, she's not exactly just a plate anymore, it's gotten a bit more serious since then, to the point of exclusivity.

Either way, I think I get the point. I texted her 'Alright, got it. ' as a response and I left it at that.

I'm just going to pull back and withdraw my attention to see how she responds to it, either way, if she doesn't budge, I'll move on. Thanks guys.

 

[El Payaso]

I keep telling guys, stop trying to control women. They are human beings just like you and have their own free will to do what they want.

What you want to do is calmly state your point. Tell her you don't like her hanging around those people. State your point and calmly walk away. It is VERY, VERY important that you walk away and do NOT engage her in any arguments or conversation. Just state your point and walk away.

It is up to her to make the decision. If she decided to still hang out with them despite your conversation with her, you have your answer. At this point, you cut all contract with her. Don't even give her the pleasure of dumping her as this only gives her mind a satisfaction and conclusion. A woman's mind is best left in a state of confusion. By engaging in arguments, trying to control her or being whiny, you give her satisfaction. Avoid this at all costs. Do not give her mind inputs to thrive on.

Let her go hang out with those friends since she obviously values them more than you. She has only revealed her true nature and exposed herself for what she really is and weeded herself out from your selection of women. Do you really want to be in a relationship with a woman who doesn't value you? Do you? Think about it.

 

[bukowski_merit]

This is the forbidden apple theory live and direct. Same as telling a woman she can't hang out with a "certain" man.... Any temptation inside them will triple instantly!

Nothing will be accomplished arguing with her. You will only push her further into doing what's getting the reaction out of you (you are feeding her drama afterall and im sure her friends are too).

You need to pickup new plates and downgrade this woman. If she doesn't improve then - cut her out your life completely.... It's hard the first few times there's a connection and you have to do it - but once you get used to it (unfortunately) you take back most control in this and all future relationships. If you're feeling disrespect on this level - walk away, and DO NOT answer to her pleas for attention/answers/drama.

 

[I_was_born_a_PIMP]

If you must ask if it is Disrespect. You already know it is disrespectful !!

 

[SHChamp]

You guys are indeed giving some solid advice. This is the reason I come here every time I'm stuck, thank you all.

For now I decided to take my distance from her, withdraw attention and focus on other things. I'll see if she comes around.

 

[VladPatton]

Just let her hang out with who she wants to, man. She is not learning, so let her learn the hard way. It really is no skin of your back. Always let her do what she wants. But always let her know that those actions have re-actions, and you walking is one of them.

"You wanna have a 36 man gangbang while I'm at work? No problemo, cutie pie! Just pick your shıt up off the lawn and GTF outta my house!"

Same here. If she gets dıcked over by those tools again, do NOT let her whine to you about it or even mention it. And I'm sure even then it'll be YOUR fault for being an insensitive prick who doesn't care about her feelings lol. Goddamn woman's mentality.

 

[JoeMarron]

To quote Guru on the subject.

Damn why the hell isn't this dude posting anymore? I'm getting some Anti Dump vibes from him. Don't chase, only let high interest women into your kingdom, rule your kingdom as you see fit, golden advice.

 

[Greasy Pig]

^^^ Agreed. Guru obviously knew his shyt. What happened to him?

 

[goldengoose]

She is a plate. Who cares who she hangs out with. If you were in a committed relationship it would be different. You would still have betas telling you it's ok to do whatever she want though. Fvck her good when you see her and don't worry about the rest. Always have other chicks ready to go.