Is this considered cheating?

[bish0p]

Just wondering about something. I was in 1.5 year LTR that ended 5 months ago. During the first 2 months, we talked everyday and hung out quite often, but we never talked about being exclusive even though she was the only woman I was physically seeing at the time. I told her that I was still in contact with my previous ex (who moved to another state which is quite far from where I live).

Now, my previous ex flew down during that second month I was talking with the new woman and I explained to her that my previous ex would be staying at my apartment for a week. She seemed cool with this and I told her that I would call her after my previous ex left. So, my previous ex came and we slept together and I only called the current girl one time during my ex's stay.

When my ex left, I started talking to the current girl again everyday and hanging out often. I heard from another source that the current girl was actually hurt that my ex stayed with me (even though she acted completely cool with everything) and that I only called once.

Later on in our relationship, she asked me if I slept with my ex..and I told her I didn't. I felt extremely guilty because I had heard that the current girl was hurt when I thought she didn't even care. So, the entire time we were together, I constantly lied to her about what happened. Finally, I told her the truth last month (even though we've been broken up for 5 months) when she asked me again while we were having lunch.

Now, I don't consider it cheating because we didn't have that "verbal contract" of being exclusive at the time, but she does and still holds it against me. What do you guys think? Did I cheat or not?

 

[Iceberg]

I don't think it's cheating. At 2 months in, you're still at the pre-commitment stage. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you.

And you did make the right choice in lying about it....telling the truth will do you no good in that situation.

 

[(JJ)]

logically, no, it's not cheating!

but, i've had this discussion a few times too. most girls of value don't want to share you. they've been brought up in a world where women of remote value do not have to share men. they merely are in exclusive, monogamous relationships with them. so when they see this activity of playing the field while being fairly involved, the little bit of logical portion of their brain kicks in and says "something's not right here." however, a man who has options and who is desired is always more attractive than the alternative.

the most recent girl i was talking with:

me: yea, i dont really see a problem with a guy like me, who's not in a committed relationship, to date around, and even really have sex with other girls.
her: what!? blah blah blah... that's wrong!
me: whatever...

about 2 months later:

her, out of the blue: so remember when we had that argument about dating around? yea, i totally agreed with you. i just wanted you all for myself, even though i was pretty sure i couldn't get you at the time. i was pretty impressed that you stood your ground on that one.

 

[thedude4242]

there is not suppose to be a real commitment before two months. what if a women sleeps around on you. I bet you would have a new nice thread for everyone.