Is this considered a flake in THIS situation?

[spiegel549]

Whats up guys, I originally encountered this chick in my previous thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=199630

There are a lot of details from the old thread that answers almost every question you might ask but I am basically trying to see if this is considered another flake, or if she should get the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Quick Background Story

Met her, had 1st date set up, drove to her apartment, she bailed with some ex boyfriend excuse once I arrived. I erased her number, 4 days later she called begging to "make it up to me." I told her the only way she could was to drive to my home and make me dinner, well thats exactly what she did lol.

Since then, 3 weeks later we have went on 4 dates and they have all been a blast. We have great sex, and a lot of fun together. Since I have been playing it a complete 180 from my old AFC self her interest level is very high, and I can tell from last nights date she definitely "likes me."

The question is...
Is this considered another flake?

Yesterday was our 4th date and she mentioned this weekend she might have to go see her sister for the weekend (2 hours away), but she might not go see her so that her and I can get together over the weekend. Later into our dinner she came up the idea of a date on Friday, me coming over to go swimming & having dinner at her place. We left off on that note.

So today I text and let her know I had a nice dinner with her, and friday were going to have a lot of fun. She responds that she had a great time, and thanks again for the dinner, but friday has become a "maybe" because her sister is telling her that she really needs her help with some work (art work, she is an artist)

I just responded with a cool "Your welcome, I'll call you tomorrow night and we can see whats up."

The question

Since she already told me before we made the date that she might have to go see her sister, if she ends up bailing. Should I give this one a pass? She is being "iffy" for this date now. This probably doesn't mean anything but she made a joke on our way to the car after dinner "that she is going to bail on me again." and I said "oh yeah try it." and she said "Nooo I am not going to bail again."

(Since our date Friday was set for noon) Is there anything wrong with saying "Why don't we get together Friday for a little while and then you can go see your sister later that night."

OR

Should I play it were I just say "No problem, lets do something after the weekend when your back."

Is she **** testing me? Whats with the "iffy" date? Can't she just ask her sister and find out if she is going or not? Why wait?

 

[ARrocket]

(Since our date Friday was set for noon) Is there anything wrong with saying "Why don't we get together Friday for a little while and then you can go see your sister later that night."

OR

Should I play it were I just say "No problem, lets do something after the weekend when your back."

Is she **** testing me? Whats with the "iffy" date? Can't she just ask her sister and find out if she is going or not? Why wait?

Look man...you're seeing other girls, right? Why are you so worried about what she's doing?

MAYBE it's a sh!t test, but she obviously likes you, so just be cool. Trying to meet up with her for 'a little while' is needy at best, desperate at worst.

Or it's POSSIBLE that she does have to meet her sister. Haven't your plans EVER conflicted at some point in your life? This happens.

Either way, look as it as an opportunity for you to do you. Go hang out with your boys, go out with some other chick, catch up on a book...whatever.

It looks like you've been learning a lot lately, but while noobs tend to over-analyze all the time, those with a decent insight to male-female interactions also fall into this trap, just for different reasons. Don't fall into the trap. Be indifferent. Posting about every move on this forum isn't indifferent - trust your instincts, and have fun.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Here's a good rule of thumb to follow: anytime a girl says she may have other plans already in the works, do NOT set the date.

To answer your question: YES, it's a flake, but it's a flake on a "maybe" date. When she told you the thing about meeting up with her sister, she was telling you that so you'd give her the ok to not meet up with you. Since you're dating now, she may feel some obligation to spend all her time with you. This isn't a bad thing per se, but you WANT your girl to feel like its ok if she spends time with people other than you without you being jealous or hurt by it.

My suggestion: do your girl a favor by calling her and saying "y'know what? Go and have a good time with your sister, we can plan something more concrete when you get back." Then, on the day she's spending time with her sister, DO NOT CONTACT HER. She needs to know you won't be trying to check up on her when she's hanging out with others, and it will make you stand out from jealous exes of the past who were probably trying to monitor her every move.

Hope this helps!