Is this BPD?

[tesla8520]

There's a friend I know who has always seemed to become infatuated with the men she spends time with.

She had a bf, but she attended university with a male friend. They often traveled back and forth together by his car for convenience. Eventually, she developed feelings for him and put her previous relationship on hold so she could sleep with him. After a few months, she got back together with her boyfriend, leaving this friend.

Then it happened again in a music class. She started spending time with another guy, along with two of her female friends, but eventually she developed feelings for him as well. She put her relationship on hold again, slept with this new guy, and later ended things with him.

She has now been single for three months, but she has always seemed to become "infatuated" or "in love" with the guys she spends time with.

It seems like a kind of mere-exposure effect: if a guy has the characteristics she considers those of a good person, she becomes infatuated with him. If he is single, she immediately wants to sleep with him; if she is already in a relationship, she seems willing to pause or leave that relationship for him.

It so happens that we attend a dance class together, and this time, I am the guy in question. She was engaged when we started spending time together.
Knowing her history, I was cautious, but she eventually developed feelings for me too.

Although for me it could be different because it was actually a love affair for us in elementary school but we were really young, like 10/12 years old. (but I don't think I'm her man chasing in her mind)


I haven't done anything with her, but I'm curious: based on this pattern, could it be a sign of borderline personality disorder?

 

[crowolf]

Whatever it is, it is a sign to stay away from her.

 

[Bigpapa]

There's a friend I know who has always seemed to become infatuated with the men she spends time with.

She had a bf, but she attended university with a male friend. They often traveled back and forth together by his car for convenience. Eventually, she developed feelings for him and put her previous relationship on hold so she could sleep with him. After a few months, she got back together with her boyfriend, leaving this friend.

Then it happened again in a music class. She started spending time with another guy, along with two of her female friends, but eventually she developed feelings for him as well. She put her relationship on hold again, slept with this new guy, and later ended things with him.

She has now been single for three months, but she has always seemed to become "infatuated" or "in love" with the guys she spends time with.

It seems like a kind of mere-exposure effect: if a guy has the characteristics she considers those of a good person, she becomes infatuated with him. If he is single, she immediately wants to sleep with him; if she is already in a relationship, she seems willing to pause or leave that relationship for him.

It so happens that we attend a dance class together, and this time, I am the guy in question. She was engaged when we started spending time together.
Knowing her history, I was cautious, but she eventually developed feelings for me too.

Although for me it could be different because it was actually a love affair for us in elementary school but we were really young, like 10/12 years old. (but I don't think I'm her man chasing in her mind)


I haven't done anything with her, but I'm curious: based on this pattern, could it be a sign of borderline personality disorder?

This can easily be explained by the fact that she stayed in the LTR for connivence and in the moment something more interesting came up she put the LTR on pause to go and explore the other option and reverted back to the LTR once she was dumped or could not secure an LTR from the other guy

In regards to her liking guys that she spends time with, that is perfectly normal behavior as we tend to Hoover more around people we like and tend to cut the time spent to the shortest period possible with those we do not like

if nothing else, I think she is a perfectly healthy woman

 

[Bible_Belt]

I've never seen a true bpd girl have her act together enough to be a college student for more than a semester or two. Generally speaking, if she can function in society, she's probably not bpd. Histrionic is actually a spectrum. What we call bpd is the more extreme cases.

 

[plumber]

This can easily be explained by the fact that she stayed in the LTR for connivence and in the moment something more interesting came up she put the LTR on pause to go and explore the other option and reverted back to the LTR once she was dumped or could not secure an LTR from the other guy

In regards to her liking guys that she spends time with, that is perfectly normal behavior as we tend to Hoover more around people we like and tend to cut the time spent to the shortest period possible with those we do not like

if nothing else, I think she is a perfectly healthy woman

this is the answer. this is why we discourage male friends and orbiters. this is a very normal pattern. some version of this occurs more often than most imagine.

 

[Prepostereax]

Yeah, not even close, just normal female behaviour.

Did she key your car, slash your tires, brick your windows, poison your pet, sh!t on your bed, slit her wrists?
Try to run you down? Overdose? Damn, I could go on..
Nope?
Didn't morph into the Bytch from hell?
Probably not classic BPD.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@tesla8520 "Although for me it could be different..."

Said every man who chose a career in organized crime, under the delusion that he'd make cash enough to be set, then spend the remainder of his days sipping mojitos in The Bahamas

Hint: If whatever move you're contemplating has ended in not simply failure, but catastrophe/tragedy for 99% of everyone else who's made said move prior, your prospects of being among the 1% exception are more dismal than these folks

Enjoying a career revival anytime in the next century