Is this as bad as I think?

[slitherjef]

A couple weeks ago I tried to get another date with that 19yo (would have been the 3rd date since I had gone out with her twice before) but I got she was not sure what she had going on for that day. So I told her I would call her later... I did not call.

A few weeks go by, we still say hi and small chat at work but tonight I tried again. I asked if she worked on Saturday the 24th, she said yes, but got off at around 330. I told her I wanted to go see The Mist and asked if she wanted to go with me. She said she was not sure, but would let me know later on. So I told her okay and if the movie idea did not work, maybe we could do something else

This would be strike 2 I guess. Again, I did not get a flat "no" but I guess anything other then "yes" means "no" right?

Hmmm the 2nd date I had with her seemed to go well, at least I thought so. I got some Kino in. Talking, having fun. Even got the 2nd date on a friday... now it seems I cant get $hit. Maybe I should of just kissed her, but I b!tched out. I wanted to take things a bit slow since she works in my store

My work schedule has been phucked up. I wanted to ask her out last saturday but it was so friggin busy I could not get to her, she looked hot as hell too. And was in my area talking to someone, near me. While I was talking with her the day before I had a short convo with her, she even held eye contact.

Now it seems I may be a last resort.
I asked her early because I wanted to so while I had a chance. Also to let her know I was still interested and give her enough time to clear her schedule for me.

I got her humber, but I normaly don't call since last two times I called her I got no where. And I do see her at work.

I am leaving the store next week. She is leaving the country for 5 months then going back to school, in another state. This gives me about perhaps a month, maybe a little longer to get with her. If there is anything there anymore...

I don't know. Right now, I just feel like

I don't try = I fail
I do try = I fail

And it really sucks too, I don't have many friends, I have a hard time talking to girls Im attracted to and when I manage to get anyplace with them, I hit the wall doing 60.

I do know there is a chance she will get back to me and say she will go to the movies with me, or do something else.

Or she will just reject me, or LJBF me or something.

If I do get another date with her, I know what must be done and see how far I can go. Kiss, makeout, feel up etc...

If its a LJBF, well, she is leaving the country soon so. Could be pen pals or something just to keep her on the back burner. This is likly what I would do anyway

But right now, I feel like crap. I guess I need a pick me up or something

 

[ready123]

dude your thoughts are all over the place and you're overanalyzing cause you have too much pick-up information in your brain

my advice to you, stop beating yourself up over not having control over what happens on a date and start being spontaneous and try to connect with the girl. don't try to force an escalation. you should be able to "feel" through the vibe when the right time to kiss her is. but the thing is you won't be able to feel this unless you shut up the critical voice in your head

I don't know. Right now, I just feel like

I don't try = I fail
I do try = I fail

yea but when you do try, even though you failed you usually learn something. think of it like this. Mystery has the best lay rate out of any pick-up artist anywhere, which is 1 in 3. That means, for every girl he gets in bed, he wastes time on 2 girls which goes nowhere. knowing that none of us are as good as Mystery, what do you think a reasonable failure rate would be?

and if this girl loses interest in you, what can you learn from this that can help you when the next hottie comes around?

 

[Nighthawk]

I know you know, but two dates and no going for a kiss is going to disqualify you with most women. I don't see how her working with you makes a difference if you'd decided you wanted her. As you said, you chickened out, or the chemistry wasn't there. Don't beat yourself up, she'll be gone soon anyway and there are millions of other hotties out there. Just be more dominant in future, grab your balls and push her up against the wall and kiss her. I don't mean this girl, but you could try it anyway.

Remember two things. It's better to regret something you have done than something you haven't. And women crave what's in your pants.

 

[slitherjef]

Thanks for the pep talk

 

[Dongfu]

Working together, leaving the country, these are all influences that can affect the situation positively or negatively. For me, this would be a great scenerio.

For you, all I can give is a sales analogy. If you have a product that you are sure is perfect for the customer, then you sometimes need to make the descision for her. You have to be sure first, and believe in your product, which in this case is you, then she will trust your direction. Whether its going to a movie or preping her to close the deal, your attitude must say, "trust me on this one, your gonna love it, gaurenteed." You cant leave any room for doubt.

 

[Chaotixxx]

By the time you get to the point youre analyzing every one of her moves, 9 times out of 10 you already lost. Stop talkin to her and if she likes you she will call you. Deep down you know if she will or not.

 

[slitherjef]

I know you know, but two dates and no going for a kiss is going to disqualify you with most women. I don't see how her working with you makes a difference if you'd decided you wanted her. .

What bothered me was possibly screwing up or doing something stupid then have to deal with the awkwardness later on at work.

Had a few awkward moments with another chick at work. Though things did smooth out however.

 

[Monkey]

She has LOW interest, stop wasting your time...

Where were her enthusiastic counter offers "no I'm busy but I'm free the next day!"

Where was HER kino on dates - her tapping your arm and reaching over to you - your kino is meaningless as it does not reveal HER interest level.

If she really liked you she'd make it VERY easy for you to get together again.

Also at 19 most girls are so scatty and flakey by nature they fall in and out of 'love' with guys overnight.

The fact that you didn't kiss her has NOTHING to do with anything, interest level will not drop because you didn't kiss her at xxx time on xxx date, BUT if you'd gone for a kiss on the 2nd date her repsonse would have given you an idea of her interest level.

Stop analysing and just practice some fun conversations with this girl at work, don't ask her out again - she fully knows your intentions now and if she has any interest she'll suggest something to you.

And don't bother being her penpal - any wasted minutes writing to her are wasted minutes you could be doing something productive.

 

[slitherjef]

Thanks again all. Instead of looking at this as a total failure and every thing negatively (like I usualy do). I need to focus on the positive...

I actualy got a chick to hang out with me. A pretty one. Twice! And a 19yo at that! If I did that once, I can probably do it again. Just got to keep trying.

As far as the no kissing thing goes, the worst part of that is, I regret not going for it!! Damn...

If I run into her or something, I will keep things to the usual banter and such. Have fun make her laugh (and others too).