Is this acceptable in a relationship?

[European-DJ]

My Gf had a brakedown yesterday, i have never seen her cry - yesterday the tears just kept running down her chin (no hulking though).

I am sure (she did not tell me though) that she was thinking about some episodes with her ex, that hurt her (and i really do not care) - she also told me she was scared i would leave her ..

So i grabbed her, and squeezed her into me and hold her for an hour untill she was alright ..

Should i have handled this differently?? and is it acceptable to act like an emotional-tampoon when within a relationsship??

 

[European-DJ]

Anything ?

 

[Perfect10]

the typcial DJF answer would be: next that *****, she's thinking about her ex, women suck and you have to be Alpha.


Firstly there of course is a chance that you should next her, but we can't know since your not telling us the details of why she was so upset.

If she was just thinking about him and got sad and missing him, that could be bad.
But if the remembered that one time he almost raped her then its normal.

Why is she upset with the memories of her ex? Are they good or bad?

 

[European-DJ]

I entered the room after she had finished watching 'The Notebook'.

Apparently, that had shaken up some old memories within her (she did not mention her EX), about her ex and how they broke up + her grandparents state and BS ..

The question is not whether i should next her/Not to - i would not.

It is more about the 'holding her and telling her everything will be just fine' thing.

(the girl is weird .. she has a milliondollar home, her parents are stinking rich, she is good looking, and have everything served - but still depresed ... damn rich-kid *****s :b)

 

[Scars]

My Gf had a brakedown yesterday, i have never seen her cry - yesterday the tears just kept running down her chin (no hulking though).

How long have you been together?

I know that she was thinking about some episodes with her ex, that hurt her (and i really do not care) - she also told me she was scared i would leave her ..

Abandonment issues. She probably has deeper psychological problems other than her "ex".

So i grabbed her, and squeezed her into me and hold her for an hour untill she was alright ..

Exactly what she wanted.

Should i have handled this differently?? and is it acceptable to act like an emotional-tampoon when within a relationsship??

It's important to be caring, and sympathetic, but I'd watch out and make sure this is just just a one time thing, or if it starts to become a pattern. You might be dealing with a crazy.

You don't really know for sure if it was over her ex. It should had been one of the questions you asked about. Perhaps she has some traumatic abandonment issue, it doesn't always have to be from a relationship, it could be someone who wronged her within her family. But in essence, if it feels like the episode was out of line, overly dramatic, or attention seeking, then it probably was.

I'd keep your guard up and be observant more with this one. Make sure it doesn't become a pattern. These types of girls have a way of sucking you in very quickly.

-Scars

Edit: Just read "The notebook" reply. Lol. I've never seen it, but I've heard it's a pretty emotional movie, and woman are emotional creatures. That could be all it is.

However, you make it sound like she is depressed a lot. Perhaps there's something else beneath the surface she hasn't brought to your attention yet, or you aren't seeing. Like I said, be careful. Good luck.

 

[European-DJ]

Scars;

Thank you for the answer, and believe me! .. this girl knows EXACTLY how to get attention and how to suck people in.. what caught her interest was, that i ignored her/did not care .. this has changed a bit since - which is why i am curious, and wondering about doing a 7-dayer with ALMOST no contact, just to give her the gift of missing me..

But i think there is more beneith the surface... i know that she had terrible school yeard from 6-15 yrs. until she moved to high school .. - this definatly left scars on her, and have made her what she is today ( a bit of a slvt honestly).

 

[Drdeee]

Dude marry her.

 

[Die Hard]

So she watched The Notebook and longed back for her ex, then you consolidated her on it? Damn, that's not right, dude! You might as well have told her: "Ahhh don't worry sweetheart, you and him will be back together again..."

What guy consolidates his girlfriend if she longs back for her ex?!?!

 

[European-DJ]

I never said she wanted to go back to him - the movie probably reminded her of some insident (when they broke up, whatever) Perhaps it was not her Ex, perhaps something else - i am just sure it has something to do with an ex.. but who knows ?

 

[Die Hard]

The question is not whether i should next her/Not to - i would not.

You would not, huh? The way you phrased that, makes me think you would not next her EVER. Is that how you feel about her? Is she too special for you, so that you think to yourself: "I never wanna lose this one" ???

From your posts, I sense a strong possibility of a BPD relationship here. I could've said BPD girl, but I intentionally say BPD relationship, coz it takes two to tango and you should acknowledge your own part in the situation you got into.

Just my 2 cents. I'll leave it up to the rest of the community to find out whether I'm right...

I never said she wanted to go back to him - the movie probably reminded her of some insident (when they broke up, whatever) Perhaps it was not her Ex, perhaps something else - i am just sure it has something to do with an ex.. but who knows ?

You never said she DIDN'T want to go back to him, either.
Sure...it was probably just some incident, WHATEVER. (let's just look the other way, shall we? Perhaps this will make the monster standing in front of us disappear?)
And indeed, who knows? (better question would be: who WANTS to know? Do you really WANT to know, European-DJ?)

Well, I know...

 

[AlexDP]

From your posts, I sense a strong possibility of a BPD relationship here. I could've said BPD girl, but I intentionally say BPD relationship, coz it takes two to tango and you should acknowledge your own part in the situation you got into.

Just my 2 cents. I'll leave it up to the rest of the community to find out whether I'm right...

All very true. The word BPD doesn't even really matter here though, it is clearly not a healthy relationship and not a healthy girl. Yes, he SHOULD next her, regardless of what he may feel.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Wife that btich! Just taking advice from TheAsianLover. Did I get it right?

 

[Ease]

My Gf had a brakedown yesterday, i have never seen her cry - yesterday the tears just kept running down her chin (no hulking though).

So i grabbed her, and squeezed her into me and hold her for an hour untill she was alright ..

I entered the room after she had finished watching 'The Notebook'.

Hahaha this cracked me up. The notebook rofl.

Give the girl some tissues i thought something bad happened. Stop analysing her reaction to 'the notebook' LOL.

 

[DonGorgon]

she is emotionally breaking up with you and Fing some other guy... she will only tell you she is done with you when it is physically convenient for her.. you need to break up with her now and have no contact at all till she offers you some F .. then you hit and leave again

 

[CuriousGirl]

Scars;

Thank you for the answer, and believe me! .. this girl knows EXACTLY how to get attention and how to suck people in.. what caught her interest was, that i ignored her/did not care .. this has changed a bit since - which is why i am curious, and wondering about doing a 7-dayer with ALMOST no contact, just to give her the gift of missing me..

But i think there is more beneith the surface... i know that she had terrible school yeard from 6-15 yrs. until she moved to high school .. - this definatly left scars on her, and have made her what she is today ( a bit of a slvt honestly).

Hang on, the ignoring thing will work when you first meet girls and all that but if you're a **** about it they'll see right through you and just think you're being a **** boyfriend or something is wrong and you're in the bad books. At the end of the day in a relationship girls want an alpha male who actually cares for them, they want to feel secure, as do guys. The people who put up with feeling insecure in a relationship shouldn't be in one. Though in your case I don't know how serious this relationship is so if it's worth applying this to it, I mean you can only learn from your relationship experiences if they don't work out so it's not necessarily a bad thing to be in one that isn't going to work out or to be in one at a younger age.

In your case I think you did the right thing, she was having a genuine bad moment and you were there for her through it. If it's like this all the time then obviously it's not gonna last. And a lot of people go through unhappy stages of their lives so if it's something like that then help her but maybe don't get serious with her.

 

[CuriousGirl]

What guy consolidates his girlfriend if she longs back for her ex?!?!

Lol