Is this a mistake?

[visnaga]

I am a male who loved a girl (22/F) so much around 4 years ago. I told her my feelings and she told me she is in love with me as well and we started dating. She started telling me that her family will not let her see me unless I proposed (This is normal for our traditions) and although I was not ready I went to her family and proposed and everything was fine except that I was not ready as I had a lot of dreams I wanted to pursue before marriage but for her I let go of my dreams.
One day she told me she does not want anyone in her life so I told her if I have done anything wrong and she did not reply so I told her ok.
After a week she came back and started asking for forgiveness and she did not know what she was doing but I told her no. After about a month or so I felt really bad because I love her so much and I started trying to get her back. She humiliated me and told me never and her words just made me more persistent (so sorry for myself now) until after a lot of tries she accepted and we got engaged.

After a while we had a fight and she told me she need a break, so I tried to convince her not to and she insisted and the other day she apologized that she did so to see how much I love her and we went through. After a while we again had a fight and she took off my ring and told me she does not want me and I tried to solve the issue until solved but this time I was really upset from her telling me very often that she does not want me even if she did not mean it so I sat with her and her parents and told them if she ever tell me again she does not want me I will not return.

Just after 2 months or so we were talking on the phone and had a little fight and she humiliated me mildly so I told her to behave and she started shouting at me and hang off on me. I tried calling her and she answered shouting again and I heard her mother beside her so I asked her are you shouting in front of them and she told me yes and that she does not want me and took off my ring and told me to go to hell and all my response was I am sorry please calm down and do not take any decisions now. She answered that she is calm and she does not want me so I told her ok and went NC.
After 2 days she started calling, apologizing, begging and so but I did not return.
Am I wrong ?as sometimes I feel very bad I did not forgive her but at the same time I need someone to care about me and never do this to me.
PS. Sometimes I feel so lonely and depressed that she could be with someone else or I would stay alone forever as I will never find someone as her. I am 30 and getting old and I have a lot of concerns. Waiting for your opinion Sorry for the long message.

 

[visnaga]

Thanks, but it might help to know my exact mistakes.

 

[visnaga]

but the fact she begged for our return, is that a proof that she really loves me?

 

[visnaga]

Thanks so much, you really helped.
I am afraid that I will not find someone like her in her beauty, sometimes I feel no one is prettier than her. Also, I sometimes remember how much she used to love me and do a lot for me. I feel sorry and broken.

 

[Outlaw_]

visnaga, I just posted a thread about who handles a break up worse, men or women. In this thread, some people give some good insight into what you may be missing in your break up. Go see it here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=216659

Sam is correct, right now you are emotional. Just know that on the other side of that pain, is extreme peace. One of the best things for you to do right now is to get busy. A job (over time/part time), a hobby, something you've always wanted to do. This will take your mind off of her.

The bad news is, she is gone bro. I experienced a break up a year ago & I felt a lot like you. Now a year later, I can talk you clear headed about what you can possibly do to ease the situation.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Continue NC and move on. No man should put up with this terrible behaviour, no matter how got the girl is.
Just work on improving yourself and soon you'll have plenty of hot women trying to be your wife.
Respect yourself first and you'll find you'll attract higher quality women, who are also good looking.

 

[Desdinova]

If this is what's happening during the engagement, just think of how awful it's going to get after the marriage.

Getting rid of her was the right thing to do.

 

[JustOlder_!]

Your going to do what your going to do ...but , its gonna be ugly. At 30, been there - you sometimes marry the first person that comes along...by 40 you will wish you hadn't. I got a wonderful daughter out of the deal. The average marriage is 9 years 6 months. Mine lasted 10 but should've been 5 ..but its the religious guilt that kept me going..... ...if you do get together - that should be your goal..to have a kid to enjoy. As far as a relationship with this gal - forget it. If she has that much anger every day and this much drama - your going to have a hard time pleasing or even if its possible ..is that really worth it?

 

[Kailex]

I am 30 and getting old and I have a lot of concerns.

Your first concern is why do you equate 30 with "getting old".
You are just getting started. Equating 30 with getting old is things women do when they are single and their biological clock is ticking.

The worst thing you can do is rush into a relationship because you think you are getting up there in age.

At 33, I am by far more active and happy than I was at 27. Don't buy into that thirties mean dating doom crap.

Stop pressuring yourself into a situation that makes no sense.

 

[Desdinova]

Your first concern is why do you equate 30 with "getting old".
You are just getting started. Equating 30 with getting old is things women do when they are single and their biological clock is ticking.

I'm with Kailex. Dating in my 30s has been awesome, much better than in my 20s. The women have been hotter and in some cases, younger.