Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Is this a good Idea...or foolish?

Lunacyde

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I've been dating (going out on dates with, not in a relationship with) this girl for almost a month and a half and we have been on 4 dates. Things are going very well although slow.

Today I realized that a band that both of us consider one of our very favorites is playing two shows as close as they ever will be playing in mid -March. This is one of her favorite bands ever and she loves going to concerts, and I love the band as well. I was thinking that it would be a great experience for the both of us, however as tickets will be selling out no doubt I will need to ask her far in advance.

Is this a good idea? Should I ask her to go? When should I ask? Etc.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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5string

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If you want to take her, and think it will be enjoyable, why not?

Of course what do I know. Maybe the tickets are expensive.
 

Diaforetikos

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What the hell dood!? Just take her. Why would this be negative in any way? Unless your not fully confident in yourself. Take risk man and stop being scares of losing someone you just met.

Besides concerts are fun. Enjoy yourself first before you worry about her.
 

Lunacyde

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My confusion was simply because I have known her for not that long whether asking about something months in advance was normal but thanks for the reply :)
 

Iceberg

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Lunacyde said:
My confusion was simply because I have known her for not that long whether asking about something months in advance was normal but thanks for the reply :)

You've been on 4 dates with her. Doesn't seem like a big deal. It's not like you're asking her to go on a 2-week European vacation.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Lunacyde

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Sweet, just wanted to check and make sure it wasn't some big rule don't make plans months in advance or something lol, I've seen other rules around here that seem equally as trivial, but can make a difference.
 

BBbardot

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Lunacyde said:
I've been dating (going out on dates with, not in a relationship with) this girl for almost a month and a half and we have been on 4 dates. Things are going very well although slow.

Today I realized that a band that both of us consider one of our very favorites is playing two shows as close as they ever will be playing in mid -March. This is one of her favorite bands ever and she loves going to concerts, and I love the band as well. I was thinking that it would be a great experience for the both of us, however as tickets will be selling out no doubt I will need to ask her far in advance.

Is this a good idea? Should I ask her to go? When should I ask? Etc.
DO IIIT
-first make sure there is loads of ticket still available.
- then tell her to keep the day available at any cost. That it's very important she keep it available. That's its not a big deal but tht she will probably like where you're taking her.
- if she says she has the day available get the tickets
- if she is an idiot and really insist saying she can't at this date. Say well too bad i'll just have to take my other gf to it (playfully).

it's not a big deal but it's always unsual and fun to get surprises from a guy.
why not?
and you like the band anyway.
I mean you must know all that already i'm not sure why you are even asking


kid, yes i called you KID
there is no law concerning the number of date, i mean take her there and it's a good occasion to get closer and it's not all a big deal. here, if she asks more than two times where you're taking her you can even tell her. She will be pleased you thought of it.
 

Lunacyde

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I will be driving and it's an hour and half drive. Should I pay for both tickets?
 

BBbardot

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Lunacyde said:
I will be driving and it's an hour and half drive. Should I pay for both tickets?
oooh yes.
but don't make her fill like it's a big deal though.
if she is not stupid she will know herself she owes you one
 

5string

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Lunacyde said:
I will be driving and it's an hour and half drive. Should I pay for both tickets?
I would.

Should she flake sometime before the concert, you can take someone else.

Go have a good time.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Iceberg

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BBbardot said:
DO IIIT
-first make sure there is loads of ticket still available.
- then tell her to keep the day available at any cost. That it's very important she keep it available. That's its not a big deal but tht she will probably like where you're taking her.
- if she says she has the day available get the tickets
- if she is an idiot and really insist saying she can't at this date. Say well too bad i'll just have to take my other gf to it (playfully).

it's not a big deal but it's always unsual and fun to get surprises from a guy.
why not?
and you like the band anyway.
I mean you must know all that already i'm not sure why you are even asking

Uh yeah...You went too far. I don't know about making a cute little surprise out of it. I just think it's not a big deal to say "Hey, Band is coming to town. Let's go to it." Taking it and turning into this big fun surprise date DOES make it a big deal. I'd definitely do that for a serious girlfriend, but not some 4-dates chick. The fact that he's asking her is enough. He doesn't have to be Romeo.

Lunacyde said:
I will be driving and it's an hour and half drive. Should I pay for both tickets?
Come on, bro. Time to stand on your own two feet. You can pay for it and she'll buy you drinks. Or you can say, "Hey I'm waiting on a paycheck, let's just split this." You're a grownup. You can think a bit. Either way, it's not gonna matter.
 

BBbardot

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Iceberg said:
Uh yeah...You went too far. I don't know about making a cute little surprise out of it. I just think it's not a big deal to say "Hey, Band is coming to town. Let's go to it." Taking it and turning into this big fun surprise date DOES make it a big deal. I'd definitely do that for a serious girlfriend, but not some 4-dates chick. The fact that he's asking her is enough. He doesn't have to be Romeo.



Come on, bro. Time to stand on your own two feet. You can pay for it and she'll buy you drinks. Or you can say, "Hey I'm waiting on a paycheck, let's just split this." You're a grownup. You can think a bit. Either way, it's not gonna matter.
that the thing, it's obviously silly but girls like it. I mean if he says it right and tell her it's not a big deal but keep this date opened ( obviously without saying: " i'm going to make you a surprise!!", that would be lunatic like.).
I think it's much less random.
I mean why not. Tell me why not? for the sake of playing it cool?
well i tell you why yes, because it's cute and fun, and also it pretty manly. Plus it's going slow, so it shows it takes control, that he is interested in her and want to take her somewhere. if he asks her like they are in town do you want to go it doesnt sound the same
 

BBbardot

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Iceberg said:
Uh yeah...You went too far. I don't know about making a cute little surprise out of it. I just think it's not a big deal to say "Hey, Band is coming to town. Let's go to it." Taking it and turning into this big fun surprise date DOES make it a big deal. I'd definitely do that for a serious girlfriend, but not some 4-dates chick. The fact that he's asking her is enough. He doesn't have to be Romeo.
thats the thing, it's obviously silly but girls like it. I mean if he says it right and tells her it's not a big deal but keep this date open( obviously without saying: " i'm going to make you a surprise!!", that would be lunatic like.).
I think it's much less random.
I mean why not. Tell me why not? for the sake of playing it cool?
well i tell you why yes, because it's cute and fun, and also it pretty manly. Plus it's going slow, so it shows it takes control, that he is interested in her and want to take her somewhere. if he asks her like they are in town do you want to go it doesnt sound the same. Plus he is going to drive one ****ing hour and half not making a big deal out of it is basically playing the slave. I think it's fair to make a little tiny bit a big deal out of it.
and YES it will matter

Iceberg said:
Come on, bro. Time to stand on your own two feet. You can pay for it and she'll buy you drinks. Or you can say, "Hey I'm waiting on a paycheck, let's just split this." You're a grownup. You can think a bit. Either way, it's not gonna matter.
AND YES IT WILL MATTEr. lunacycle, it's a sweet idea you had, don't ruin this following iceberg advise here (with all due respect to iceberg i think here you're wrong)
do not say that you will split. You had the idea, you're inviting her, don't talk about spliting the bill or paychecks. Talking about waiting for a paycheck= big turn off, I promise.

Just tell her to keep the date open if she confirms she will get the tickets, if she insist even a little bit to know what it is tell her. But still take care of everything else. Show her a good time. She will get back to you natually and you will have agreat time. Sometimes doing things you don't need to do end up feeling good for everybody. Don't play it too cool or you will basically just being a jerk ( like the thing of spliting the bill, oh boy)
 

pinhas

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Get the tickets but don't tell her. If you make it by March, just surprise her and go together; if you split, well then you still have the tickets and can go with a friend or another girl.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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BBbardot

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pinhas said:
Get the tickets but don't tell her. If you make it by March, just surprise her and go together; if you split, well then you still have the tickets and can go with a friend or another girl.
good too. actually i agree it's the best.
i forgot the concert was so far ahead.
 

ajay

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pinhas said:
Get the tickets but don't tell her. If you make it by March, just surprise her and go together; if you split, well then you still have the tickets and can go with a friend or another girl.
Exactly
 

The Assistant

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can someone else tell me why BBBardot, as a 17 year old girl from Europe, is giving advice to men on how to approach dating in America?

So many things wrong with that.....so so many!

What I would want to know from Lunacyde is, what do you mean that things are moving slowly? I mean, after 4 dates, you should already be having sex - otherwise she is not worth dating.

A good woman with a good head on her shoulders expresses her attraction to the man that she is seeing - otherwise she is either too prude, using sex as a negotiation tool, or just not interested in you sexually.

So, how much have you done with this lady, and if it isn't much, why do you think that is in your own opinion?
 

Iceberg

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The Assistant said:
can someone else tell me why BBBardot, as a 17 year old girl from Europe, is giving advice to men on how to approach dating in America?

So many things wrong with that.....so so many!

What I would want to know from Lunacyde is, what do you mean that things are moving slowly? I mean, after 4 dates, you should already be having sex - otherwise she is not worth dating.

A good woman with a good head on her shoulders expresses her attraction to the man that she is seeing - otherwise she is either too prude, using sex as a negotiation tool, or just not interested in you sexually.

So, how much have you done with this lady, and if it isn't much, why do you think that is in your own opinion?
You always seem to hit the jugular.

Looking back on it, this dating situation doesn't sound sexual does it? You'd figure after 4 dates, a man could figure out on his own whether or not to ask a woman to a concert. Not that I knock him for asking. That's what we're here for, after all.

And yea BBardot giving advice is somewhat laughable.

But then when you see this first thread of "hers", I get visions of troll dancing in my head.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=180899
 

BBbardot

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my young age? irrelevant, i'm pretty mature ( except when im playing)
the fact i'm in france? well you can guess by the way i speak english that i probably have an american+irish bf and i travel a lot to the us and the us travel a lot to paris=>irrelevant!
what else, i'm a girl? good point but you can't deny it adds another perspective which is not a negative thing.
-my first thread? I asked a question about how to change my don juan tag cause it doesn't apply for me obviousely, I got my answer, i was happpy. I was friendly. nothing wrong so far.
-furthermore, If the picture i posted offended you i'm sorry...It wasn't meant to... :)
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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