hey all, there is this chick i have been seeing on aim, now i know aim isnt the way to go but i just have her on the side and what ever happens with her happens, anyway what i dont get about her is that she hints me about taking her out and she tells me how she cant wait to meet me and blah blah but already asked her out and she said she not ready and she wants to get to know me better, now we been talking for about 3 months, and i asked her again 2 days ago and she says she will let me know, and no answer yet i dont know she very confusing she hints me to ask her out and she flirts alot but when i do she backs out...should i just leave her where she at and just wait and see where it leads or should i just delte her, dont get me wrong i do go out and pick up but its always good to have an extra chick on the side. sorry for the long post
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is there something wrong with this chick?
- Thread starter Hercules
- Start date
Starman
Master Don Juan
I think she is just scared . What you need to do is find out her psychology.
Is she motivated by reassurance? and comforting words(positive reinforcement)? or is she the type that reacts if she is risking losing something (negative reinsofrcement)
So find out..if she is motivated by reassurance..tell her it will be OK..you guys will have fun..even if its for like 1 Hour.
If that still doesnt make her budge..then you need to stop talking to her..to get her to think "Act now or Risk losing him forever"
she obviously thinks she has alot of time to work with you..
you can even try the guilt trip "Im offended that we've been talking for so long..and you are still intimidated by me"
Also do you talk to her on the fone? If not..maybe thats why she is cautious..talking on the fone helps build solid rapport
Is she motivated by reassurance? and comforting words(positive reinforcement)? or is she the type that reacts if she is risking losing something (negative reinsofrcement)
So find out..if she is motivated by reassurance..tell her it will be OK..you guys will have fun..even if its for like 1 Hour.
If that still doesnt make her budge..then you need to stop talking to her..to get her to think "Act now or Risk losing him forever"
she obviously thinks she has alot of time to work with you..
you can even try the guilt trip "Im offended that we've been talking for so long..and you are still intimidated by me"
Also do you talk to her on the fone? If not..maybe thats why she is cautious..talking on the fone helps build solid rapport
Starman
Master Don Juan
Dude,
you havent talked on the fone yet. Thats why she doesnt want to meet you yet.
Call her up..talk 3-4 times..and I guarantee she will meet you then.
you havent talked on the fone yet. Thats why she doesnt want to meet you yet.
Call her up..talk 3-4 times..and I guarantee she will meet you then.
JustDoItAlways
Master Don Juan
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What are the odds that she's a little on the heavy side or got wacked with an ugly stick?
Before you go dreaming about a wonderful future together, you have to actually meet her.
Most of the time, the girl from this kind of situation (3 months, not wanting to meet up, wanting to get to know you better) turns out to be UG.
Before you go dreaming about a wonderful future together, you have to actually meet her.
Most of the time, the girl from this kind of situation (3 months, not wanting to meet up, wanting to get to know you better) turns out to be UG.
Three months is too long to talk to someone and have them still unwilling to meet you. There are good ways to meet a woman online. This example is not one of them. Go with starman's plan of first positive then negative reinforcement.
There's a reason you should never talk to someone online for months before meeting her. When you guys meet in person, you're going to have start over anyway. Interacting with someone online is not the same as interacting with them in person. You can have great chemistry online, and still not click. Plus, you might find her physically distasteful, and all your time getting to know her will have been wasted. You need to get to the phone stage asap, and then meet soon afterward.
Edit: I actually know of a case where a white overweight girl sent a guy a picture of her cute, black friend. She actually met him in person after a while and got offended when he demanded to go meet the person the picture was actually of. Lesson: Don't get comfortable until you meet the girl in person, and don't accept excuses for why it's not possible.
There's a reason you should never talk to someone online for months before meeting her. When you guys meet in person, you're going to have start over anyway. Interacting with someone online is not the same as interacting with them in person. You can have great chemistry online, and still not click. Plus, you might find her physically distasteful, and all your time getting to know her will have been wasted. You need to get to the phone stage asap, and then meet soon afterward.
Edit: I actually know of a case where a white overweight girl sent a guy a picture of her cute, black friend. She actually met him in person after a while and got offended when he demanded to go meet the person the picture was actually of. Lesson: Don't get comfortable until you meet the girl in person, and don't accept excuses for why it's not possible.
Make sure to take her to a movie or some place with people, that way she will feel more comfortable. One time I met this girl on-line and she was kind of scared at first, we talked on the phone several times and I asked her out to see a movie..no problem...
Make sure she knows shes not going out with a weirdo (are you one?) just kidding...
good luck
Make sure she knows shes not going out with a weirdo (are you one?) just kidding...
good luck