Is there something wrong with me or is this normal?

[Incubus]

I'll try to make this story as short as possible. Basically it's been 2 years since I last had a steady girlfriend. Since then I've felt lonely multiple times, and I always say (to my friends) that I would love to find a girlfriend to share life with. Thing is, I've had plenty of opportunities over the last two years. I've had several girls who've been crazy about me. At first everything is great, but I always find some kind of reason not to date them! I just thought about this last night as I was hanging out with this girl who seems head over heels for me. She was all over me but I was just counting down the minutes until she left. I know this girl wants a relationship, which is what I think I want, but for some reason I'm just not feeling her. And she's a good looking girl, great personality, and really nothing wrong with her. But somehow I found a couple of things to make myself not like her. Now I have to somehow let her down and keep looking.

I guess this just really bothers me, because every time that opportunities for seemingly good relationships arise I somehow find something wrong with the girl.

Am I just being too picky? Am I stupid? Or maybe deep inside I'm scared of commitment?

 

[iqqi]

Are you sure that you keep "making yourself" not like them?

Or are you trying to be that guy who is "afraid of commitment"?

Because many people who aren't looking to complete themselves, remain single for years. There is nothing wrong with that.

Don't settle. Unless of course, you want to.

 

[I'mBETTERthanMYSTreY]

or you just might be gay?

 

[Incubus]

or you just might be gay?

Not that I have a problem with it, but I'd rather get my **** chopped up and have my balls burned than to touch another man's ****.

I love girls....maybe I'm scared of getting in another serious relationship and not being able to experience the many different types of girls that this world has to offer. I mean, at 20 why settle for one girl? Maybe my girlfriend when I was 18 wanting to marry me freaked me out a bit?

 

[DonJuan11]

Thing is, I've had plenty of opportunities over the last two years. I've had several girls who've been crazy about me. At first everything is great, but I always find some kind of reason not to date them! I just thought about this last night as I was hanging out with this girl who seems head over heels for me. She was all over me but I was just counting down the minutes until she left. I know this girl wants a relationship, which is what I think I want, but for some reason I'm just not feeling her. And she's a good looking girl, great personality, and really nothing wrong with her. But somehow I found a couple of things to make myself not like her. Now I have to somehow let her down and keep looking.

How do you know the girl wasn't faking it the whole time and just wanted to have fun at your expense? I'm sure alot of girls have found they are not "feeling" it with you.

 

[iqqi]

I love girls....maybe I'm scared of getting in another serious relationship and not being able to experience the many different types of girls that this world has to offer. I mean, at 20 why settle for one girl?

This is a great attitude to have at your age.

Also, the fact that you aren't just jumping into relationships, and KNOW yourself enough to know that you want variety and to experience different things right now, is MATURE.

 

[iqqi]

How do you know the girl wasn't faking it the whole time and just wanted to have fun at your expense? I'm sure alot of girls have found they are not "feeling" it with you.

What would be the point in this thought process? Why would you suggest he doubt something, when there is nothing to be gained from that?

 

[Incubus]

How do you know the girl wasn't faking it the whole time and just wanted to have fun at your expense? I'm sure alot of girls have found they are not "feeling" it with you.

I can tell. It's really not that hard to see when someone's genuinely having a good time. Don't get my wrong, I've gone out with plenty of girls who weren't into me....I'm not trying to sound like I can get any girl I want.

 

[Incubus]

This is a great attitude to have at your age.

Also, the fact that you aren't just jumping into relationships, and KNOW yourself enough to know that you want variety and to experience different things right now, is MATURE.

Well thanks bro. Maybe that's why so many marriages fail nowadays, too many people are scared they won't find anyone else and get into ltr with people they don't truly like?

 

[DonJuan11]

What would be the point in this thought process? Why would you suggest he doubt something, when there is nothing to be gained from that?

There are always two sides to an issue. You always have to think logically about the other side before jumping to conclusions and making decisions.

and

Girls are MASTERS at faking it.

 

[iqqi]

Well thanks bro. Maybe that's why so many marriages fail nowadays, too many people are scared they won't find anyone else and get into ltr with people they don't truly like?

I think so myself. Nothing upsets me more than when I connect with someone who is already in a LTR, or marriage, UNHAPPILY. Or maybe even happily, but not satisfied. I'm like "WHY did you commit to someone, when I was out here all along? You should have WAITED for the right person, instead of being afraid to be alone."

I mean, if I can wait for someone right for me, why can't you?!

You are pretty wise, to understand that concept already.

BTW, I'ma girl.

 

[Incubus]

I think so myself. Nothing upsets me more than when I connect with someone who is already in a LTR, or marriage, UNHAPPILY. Or maybe even happily, but not satisfied. I'm like "WHY did you commit to someone, when I was out here all along? You should have WAITED for the right person, instead of being afraid to be alone."

I mean, if I can wait for someone right for me, why can't you?!

You are pretty wise, to understand that concept already.

BTW, I'ma girl.

Well they should have your name in pink so I'd know that! I guess I knew that all along. Only thing is that sometimes seeing how so many of my friends are in long term relationships I feel kind of left out and I want the same. And when this girl came over last night I was excited but then disappointed because I knew she isn't the one. But I guess there's nothing wrong with being single, especially at 20 lol. I mean, if someone finds "the person" at an early age then awesome, but otherwise they'd be missing out on a lot of fun for nothing. I mean, the whole dating thing...trying to approach complete strangers, going out on dates wondering what they're thinking, doing crazy things to get with someone....that's actually a lot of fun come to think of it.

 

[iqqi]

^^^ YOU have a great head on you shoulders.

While you are here be sure to check out the weapons of mass destruction.

I know, I know, I am so corny. (Private joke, incubus.)

 

[LostAndConfused]

What would be the point in this thought process? Why would you suggest he doubt something, when there is nothing to be gained from that?

Because somehow, girls take amusement out of it.