Is there something wrong with letting girls come to YOU?

[reset]

Cool. Yeah I'm going to have to approach, there's no way around it but the way you describe it shows it as an interaction, if you're wise and can observe what's going on around you that's much of the work done for you.

Frankly, just "ooh cute chick! Walk up and get phone number!" doesn't appeal to me. But if I can tell the girl is giving me those signals, I think I'll feel much more confident just saying "hey" and then taking it from there.

Chicks WILL help you in that case too. It's not like they are going to fold their arms and give you a dirty look. You're already communicating.

I think it's easy to get lost in what you're supposed to say, but most of how we communicate is non-verbal anyway. All good things for me to keep in mind.

 

[fruitopiax]

...girls will drop subtle hints, or signs of attraction, and that's their way of approaching. In that way, I usually let them come to me.

For example a girl will check me out, or be be in my proximity......she'll bend over near me, flaunt body, flip her hair, walk around me or follow me, bump into me......stuff like that. They try to get your attention for you to make the move. They will start a conversation with you while waiting in line at the grocery store, and stuff like that.

When guys say "girls approach" them, it's not like these girls just walk up and game the guy. It's not like that....like also at the grocery store, which I've found is one of the best places to pickup girls ......you're in an isle looking at cans, and the girl will just conveniently come and stand a few feet from you, or pickup something right beside you...even if she really doesn't need it, she'll pretend like she does. That gives you an invitation to start a conversation with her.

I swear, if you guys stopped talking so much about openers, and exact processes for your approaches - and instead you focused on noticing how girls give you these invitations - you would be way ahead of a lot of guys.

I don't just approach a woman unless I know she has shown interest with body language because otherwise it's a waste of time.

That kind of approach with no interest is for the chumps and guys who can afford to waste their time. I go to school full-time doing my Masters, and also run a business, so I don't have time to do 2000 approaches. That's the loser way of doing things.

I don't know why you guys think it's "so advanced" to let girls show interest in you. I think the guys who think this is advanced don't really understand it.

It's not like you isolate yourself and wish that women just show up next to you. Nooo....you do your normal thing, and are a social person. Women are literally everywhere, but most guys are blind or asleep.

Why do some guys feel like they need to go to a bar/club to pickup chicks when.......there are chicks at the book store, the grocery store, the laundromat, at fastfood places (albeit fat ones there ), and plenty of other places.....and usually it's the same girls who go to the club at night that are at these places during the day.

Why spend like $50 to go out at night and all that extra time, when you can pick up the same chicks during the day.....and they're a lot easier to pickup during the day. You think alcohol makes things better? In that kind of environment you have a gazillion c0ckblocks, loud noise, crowds, etc. During the day it's usually just you and her. Why make it so hard on yourselves?

If you have the confidence to simply wake up and open your eyes, you'll see that there are women out there ALREADY giving you these signs. You just gotta take the opportunity.

Most of you are just too shy or not good at your observational skills. There's nothing advanced about it.

I get what you're saying about the subtle hint, but is that what guys actually mean when they say "a girl approached them?" If a girl doesn't actually open you and start the conversation, I don't consider it them approaching you. The subtle hints just make it easier and allow you to open/approach them with more confidence.

 

[Tear Gas]

VERY good post magnet..that is so true for how women show interest. i was saying that girls that actually come up to you and say something is rare and you shouldn't just sit around and wait for it to happen. A lot of girls give pretty obvious signs of interest if you just BE AWARE of your surroundings. Most guys are oblivious to what is going on around them. Keep your eyes open and look for IOIs constantly, i get them ALL the time..just gotta keep a look out for them.

One thing though..just waiting till girls give you "hints" that they're interested to approach is a good strategy if you really can't take rejection, but to me, you're passing up on a lot of ass only approaching girls that give "hints" A lot of times, the girl is either busy doing something, reading, laptop, studying etc.. and isnt looking around for you to drop by..so you don't have anything to lose to just go and talk to her especially if you don't have anything else to do..then you can wait for IOIs once you're talking to her and leave whenever you feel like your convo isnt going anywhere...

i've had girls show me NO interest at all cause they just wern't paying attention, but when the convo started, it was obvious she was interested..so don't always wait for invitations, just get out there and have fun. Who gives a **** if you get rejected.don't let some c unt ruin your outlook on things, just walk away and bag another broad..

i agree picking up at clubs/bars is retarded. i only go to these places to chill with GUY friends and have fun with them. Girls intentionally reject ANY guy that approaches them in these places for many reasons..

 

[magnet7]

I get what you're saying about the subtle hint, but is that what guys actually mean when they say "a girl approached them?" If a girl doesn't actually open you and start the conversation, I don't consider it them approaching you. The subtle hints just make it easier and allow you to open/approach them with more confidence.

Well even when girls start a conversation, it will usually be something indirect. Like they'll ask you the time, or something insignificant.

I honestly can't imagine a girl approaching a guy and starting a conversation with any sort of direct approach, unless she is super horny. I mean, girls will "approach" and get in your vicinity or personal space, but they won't walk up and tell you you're hot and offer their phone number. That might happen in rare situations when she's close to her monthly cycle, or way drunk/drugged, but usually I'm pretty sure when guys say a girl approached them it's indirect/subtle stuff. And I wouldn't approach a girl (with the intent of wanting to sleep with her) unless she showed some interest first, whether through eye contact or whatever.

Because it's really pointless. I mean, we all talk to girls and girls talk to guys, but that's not approaching. Approaching, the term as used here, is when you initiate with some sexual intent. Guys are a lot more bold, and girls are more subtle. But both of the sexes definitely do it. I think, personally though, that guys should do it only when the girls show them a subtle hint.

Your closing rate becomes like 90% or higher, and I get rejected maybe once every 4-5 months.

but to me, you're passing up on a lot of ass only approaching girls that give "hints" A lot of times, the girl is either busy doing something, reading, laptop, studying etc.. and isnt looking around for you to drop by..so you don't have anything to lose to just go and talk to her especially if you don't have anything else to do..then you can wait for IOIs once you're talking to her and leave whenever you feel like your convo isnt going anywhere..

Yeah, I do agree with this, although it's not that you can't take rejection, but just why bother. I think you're right though, there are situations where even if she hasn't given you any sign, you do the same thing a woman does:

You go and stand near her, give her a chance to drop you subtle hint. Get in her personal space, and give her a chance to touch you or bump into you, or make eye contact and give her a chance to hold it, stuff like that........ because sometimes you notice her first and that's how I do it.......it really makes things a whole lot easier.

Not going up to make a conversation right off the bat per se, but put myself in her vicinity. Sure, sometimes I make a small comment, but I try not to force anything if it's not there to begin with.

---

The way I usually try to engage a girl who hasn't shown a sign.....I mean the most common situation, is in school. If we have to do a small project with a group, I will go up and just choose a group with a girl I might like, and then that consistent interaction with her over the course of a few days can build into attraction, because on an approach you only have say 10 minutes at most....not enough to build a spark. But interacting with someone for a few hours a week can easily build if you pick your target well and know how to touch her subtly get her to laugh, etc.....even if she has a boyfriend

 

[Jitterbug]

I honestly can't imagine a girl approaching a guy and starting a conversation with any sort of direct approach, unless she is super horny. I mean, girls will "approach" and get in your vicinity or personal space, but they won't walk up and tell you you're hot and offer their phone number. That might happen in rare situations when she's close to her monthly cycle, or way drunk/drugged, but usually I'm pretty sure when guys say a girl approached them it's indirect/subtle stuff.

I've seen that happen. There's a guy I know through a friend who's at uni doing some media course and working as a waiter at a popular cafe on campus. He's good-looking and I've seen chicks approach him, telling him he's cute/hot/whatever and giving him their numbers in broad daylight.

I've also witnessed situations with similar guys but the girl is shy so she asked her friend to come up to him and give him her number.

For the rest of us, we have to be bold. I agree with keeping your eyes open for the subtle hints, to maximize our success rate.

 

[Jack McCrack]

I think I liked your post the most, magnet7. Approaching is a game of subtlety and I am going to master it.

 

[ILikeGirls<3]

looking for the subtle hints of interest is very important, i realize that now that i am older and more aware of how girls convey their sexual interest.