Is there ever a reason guys should purposely tell a woman off or be a jerk?

[Urbanyst]

It's not the least bit fake if you are coming from a place of DGAF and you are simply stating cause and effect. It's grounded & authentic.

People can read that authenticity. So if they do the offensive behavior again it will not surprise them that you act in accordance with the natural consequence.

People either respect you or they don't. You can't control other people. That's foolishness. If they don't respect you, you take note & respect yourself. No hissy fit required.

This I agree with 100%.

I mean my answer to OP is No. Never. Why? Even though you'll perhaps feel better in the moment you'll appear as an immature crybaby to the chick & anybody else who is around. Crybabies, hissy fits and the rest are weak. Weakness is never attractive in a man and hurts you. You lose your cool, you've totally lost frame. You'll look like a 12 year old. Not sexy, not masculine, not composed, not good.

This totally contradicts what you said prior. If you are hiding your emotions you are being FAKE. If you are censoring yourself for a WOMAN you are weak and approval seeking lol.

Also, everyone loses their cool at some point in their life. Its called being human. This "be a robot" nonsense a lot of people teach here is absurd and unrealistic for living a human life.

If some dumb slut wants to ghost me or lose respect for me because I have one bad day.. maybe I'm better off without her.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

One chick once said what was I looking at. I simply replied not you your're ugly. I was calm cool and collected and it was the truth

 

[ubercat]

I normally answer "not much" to that one with a look of distaste.

 

[Trump]

Being unflappable is a highly FAKE and fraudulent behavior. It annoys me that fraud, lying and being FAKE is the most popular advice these days. No wonder relationships can't work lol. You never know who people are because they hid behind some FAKE mask for calmness while they boil with resentment underneath.

You are confusing the issues.

Not showing your emotions with a girl you are in love with has nothing to do with being fake. Being fake is pretending you are something you are not. Not showing your emotions when a girl you are absolutely desperately in love with and she tests you means you have it together. If a girl who are in love with knows where your weakness is, she will use to crush you. Anyone would.

Women's power comes from getting others emotional, not themselves. And you are telling me if a girl outsmarts you, you let her have it? She will be laughing inside.

"Wow, this guy is so so so in love with me and has no other projects or goals and ambition that he is spending is emotional energy on me! How much power does the sex I give him have!"

 

[soulforge]

I was with my ex for around two years.

In those two years, there where at least 5 occasions where I felt she disrespected me, or I felt she displayed bad behaviour.

On two of the occasions, the offence was pretty serious (she called me out in front of her family & said something that really embarrassed me)

However In those two years, I never lost my cool with her. I did point out to her that her behaviour was not acceptable in a calm manner, and I even dumped her once.

The last occasion when she embarrassed me in front of her family, I had been drinking that night and I did actually get pretty angry with her, I raised my voice at her and even swore.

I was pretty much fed up of her chit, and the alcohol did not help.

How did she react to this? She accused me of being an aggressive man. Two years of handling her chit in a calm manner, one incident of anger, and I get painted completely black.

My advice is don't let her get an emotional reaction from you. Make your point, firmly, if she does not take on board your concerns, becomes defensive, walk away.

Or dump

 

[sosousage]

This I agree with 100%.



This totally contradicts what you said prior. If you are hiding your emotions you are being FAKE. If you are censoring yourself for a WOMAN you are weak and approval seeking lol.

Also, everyone loses their cool at some point in their life. Its called being human. This "be a robot" nonsense a lot of people teach here is absurd and unrealistic for living a human life.

If some dumb slut wants to ghost me or lose respect for me because I have one bad day.. maybe I'm better off without her.

you cant really win argue with a girl. either way you lose she will jsut fuk someone else


i would just be cool about any ****y behavior she makes, of course not forget it, and look for other women. in the end it could hurt her more, and you dont end up with one girl less

 

[Urbanyst]

you cant really win argue with a girl. either way you lose she will jsut fuk someone else


i would just be cool about any ****y behavior she makes, of course not forget it, and look for other women. in the end it could hurt her more, and you dont end up with one girl less

That's what's wrong with guys. So desperate to keep a woman around they accept anything lol.

I value principles over p*ssy. There are too many women out there to eat sh*t just to keep one from leaving.

 

[Urbanyst]

You are confusing the issues.

Not showing your emotions with a girl you are in love with has nothing to do with being fake. Being fake is pretending you are something you are not. Not showing your emotions when a girl you are absolutely desperately in love with and she tests you means you have it together. If a girl who are in love with knows where your weakness is, she will use to crush you. Anyone would.

Women's power comes from getting others emotional, not themselves. And you are telling me if a girl outsmarts you, you let her have it? She will be laughing inside.

"Wow, this guy is so so so in love with me and has no other projects or goals and ambition that he is spending is emotional energy on me! How much power does the sex I give him have!"

Don't care!

That's where the power is. I do ME and don't care what happens.

All your mental and emotional power game gymnastics uses up more energy and commitment than just being honest about how you feel and letting the woman react how she wants. If she uses it against you she is a piece of sh*t anyway and you will fall out of love as fast as you fell in. At least if you have any shred of self respect lol.

 

[soulforge]

you cant really win argue with a girl. either way you lose she will jsut fuk someone else


i would just be cool about any ****y behavior she makes, of course not forget it, and look for other women. in the end it could hurt her more, and you dont end up with one girl less

Are you advocating silently putting up with her chit, just incase she fuks someone else, or you lose one?

 

[Urbanyst]

There is a difference between not voicing concerns, and becoming angry and losing your temper.

You can remain calm and explain you don't like x y z.

Some of the guys with the highest value women I know are completely unflappable. My friend has a very high earning woman who was def hb9 or above, and you cannot get him to lose his shyt. He can bytch a bit, but never loses his cool, and she is quite highly strung.

You don't know that. Everyone loses their cool at some point. You might not be there to see it, but it happens.

I rarely lose my cool too. But I don't go out of my way to suppress myself. If I feel a certain way, I have no problem saying it and I don't care what happens. Any woman who wants to leave or lose respect can eat sh*t to be honest lol.

 

[sosousage]

That's what's wrong with guys. So desperate to keep a woman around they accept anything lol.

I value principles over p*ssy. There are too many women out there to eat sh*t just to keep one from leaving.

but you wouldnt take her seriously from that moment

 

[BeExcellent]

This I agree with 100%.



This totally contradicts what you said prior. If you are hiding your emotions you are being FAKE. If you are censoring yourself for a WOMAN you are weak and approval seeking lol.

Also, everyone loses their cool at some point in their life. Its called being human. This "be a robot" nonsense a lot of people teach here is absurd and unrealistic for living a human life.

If some dumb slut wants to ghost me or lose respect for me because I have one bad day.. maybe I'm better off without her.

No contradiction at all. In the part you agree with I explain what genuine DGAF attitude looks like & acts like & why it's important.

In the part you think is contradictory I'm giving my response to the OP, which is that losing your temper at a woman is NOT going to accomplish anything but make a man look weak & immature.

I realize that not everyone has developed their inner calibration to the point of IDGAF calmness. My point is that a man is always better served NOT to lose his chit, whether he's reached the DGAF point or not.

I'm a chick and that's how I handle things. I was lucky in that I had a very strong father who demanded emotional stability from me (and other women in the family), or he simply wouldn't deal with me, my sisters, my step mom, etc. So I learned I better get my ass under control if I expected him to pay attention to what I had to say. So I did. And my Dad was a man who at times would say intentionally provocative things to try and get people frothing...(he was a great trial attorney).

It's a skill that has given me tremendous power and influence in dealing with people & situations. Angry outbursts are indulgences that a man (or anyone for that matter) is best advised NOT to allow themselves.

Do things tick me off at times? Sure. But I always am composed in the moment from that very calm DGAF place. Then I channel the slow burn of the anger (IF I'm angry, which isn't often) into a workout or a project or into something else productive.

So losing your temper is never a good thing for women or others to see. Whether you are fully at a DGAF place or not it's your job to control your temper and yourself.

 

[Urbanyst]

No contradiction at all. In the part you agree with I explain what genuine DGAF attitude looks like & acts like & why it's important.

In the part you think is contradictory I'm giving my response to the OP, which is that losing your temper at a woman is NOT going to accomplish anything but make a man look weak & immature.

I realize that not everyone has developed their inner calibration to the point of IDGAF calmness. My point is that a man is always better served NOT to lose his chit, whether he's reached the DGAF point or not.

I'm a chick and that's how I handle things. I was lucky in that I had a very strong father who demanded emotional stability from me (and other women in the family), or he simply wouldn't deal with me, my sisters, my step mom, etc. So I learned I better get my ass under control if I expected him to pay attention to what I had to say. So I did. And my Dad was a man who at times would say intentionally provocative things to try and get people frothing...(he was a great trial attorney).

It's a skill that has given me tremendous power and influence in dealing with people & situations. Angry outbursts are indulgences that a man (or anyone for that matter) is best advised NOT to allow themselves.

Do things tick me off at times? Sure. But I always am composed in the moment from that very calm DGAF place. Then I channel the slow burn of the anger (IF I'm angry, which isn't often) into a workout or a project or into something else productive.

So losing your temper is never a good thing for women or others to see. Whether you are fully at a DGAF place or not it's your job to control your temper and yourself.

Losing your temper is one thing. Speaking your mind and being honest about how you feel is another.

I'm talking about the latter not the former.

Anytime a man is censoring himself because he is around a WOMAN.. he is being a weak, approval seeking, little p*ssy in my opinion.

Like I said earlier. We are all human and we all have our bad days. If a woman can't handle that she can eat sh*t. Women are notorious for acting ignorant when they feel emotional. But they can't handle it when others do it? Lol. Too bad I guess.

 

[BeExcellent]

I get what you are saying @Urbanyst. Of course a man should communicate if something needs to be said.

The most effective way to do this is calmly and directly. Then the issue is on the table and you can go about observing how others behave in response & act accordingly.

I don't think there is any need to "tell a woman off" or "be a jerk" when communicating as per OP's question. It substantially diminishes your effort to communicate.

The problem with indulging in the 'tell off' or 'jerk' mode is that women will MISS your message and see only your emotional state...rendering your message far less effective...perhaps rendering it completely ineffective.

So just keep that in mind.

 

[Urbanyst]

I get what you are saying @Urbanyst. Of course a man should communicate if something needs to be said.

The most effective way to do this is calmly and directly. Then the issue is on the table and you can go about observing how others behave in response & act accordingly.

I don't think there is any need to "tell a woman off" or "be a jerk" when communicating as per OP's question. It substantially diminishes your effort to communicate.

The problem with indulging in the 'tell off' or 'jerk' mode is that women will MISS your message and see only your emotional state...rendering your message far less effective...perhaps rendering it completely ineffective.

So just keep that in mind.

There is a time and place for everything.

Sometimes people need to be told off. Sometimes that is the only way they learn.

Anyone who has made it to the top in business or been in intense competition knows being calm just doesn't cut it sometimes. Sometimes you have to crack skulls and step on toes. Life is about survival and competition. Humans would not have the emotional reactions we do if they didn't serve a purpose.

 

[PapiChulo]

You have to use all of the above technics depending on what situation you are in. I have come to realize that sometimes you are dealing with stupid people and you actually have to explain/demonstrate what they are doing wrong. That's communication. Other times you might just have to withdraw, because it is an action that sends a direct message and always gets results. Other times, you really have to go ham on woman if she tries to pull off something in front of other people. If you have do resort to that, I suppose that relationship is at its end anyway. I urge you guys to remember that women are by nature prone to solipsism and personal bias. So try to communicate your message effectively even though it's not always that easy. Being less emotional and composed is the key, because you start thinking logically and not with your "lizard" brain so to speak.