"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Is there anyway to tell a girl she's gained weight?

MegaMan

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Hey guys, newbie here, with I guess an odd first post...


I just got out of a 3yr LTR, and as time went on, my girls weight slowly and surely increased. I know this is going to come across as really shallow, but I could never find a way to bring it up. For future refrence is there a way to address this issue?

I'm not saying she piled on the pounds here, it was like 10-15 or so, but enough that it affected my physical attraction.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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(JJ)

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if you're in a relationship with a girl for 3 years and 10-15 pounds is this important to you then you made a mistake staying in the relationship for that long in the first place.

$0.02
 

MegaMan

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hahah, I knew I was going to get that response. It wasn't a huge deal to me at all, but more of a just a side-effect.
 

(JJ)

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lol let me rephrase. im not trying to talk down on you for caring about a girls weight. cuz im the first one to cancel out a girl cuz she;s a chunk. i just think that along the lines of "what the fvck are you doing wasting 3 years of your valuable time on a girl that you only have superficial feelings for?" theres tons of hotties out there.
 

Mavrick

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I guess if you're not going to be with the girl, or you are going to leave her anyway if she got fat, you might as well let her know that it's a problem. What do you have to lose by just being blunt and straight to the point?

My ex got fatter and while she did, I lost my attraction to her. It really sucked because I didn't want that to happen. I guess there is a reason to try to become less superficial because looks fade, and they can fade fast.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SomethingClever

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I suggest action dates. Take her out and do something, instead of keeping that fat ass of hers parked in a seat. Or suggest you guys work out together. Maybe take her out to a healthy restaurant. If all this is too much work, dump her lard ass and get a chick who's main diet doesn't consist of twinkies and donuts.
 

SharinganUser

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I agree with SomethingClever. Go to the gym together but don't work out together. That way on the way home you can have something to talk about on the way home.

Action dates are the way to go. You two could join a karate class together.
 

KontrollerX

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She owes it to you to keep the appearance she had when you fell in love with her.

Just tell her straight but gently that she needs to lose some weight or you can't continue seeing her and that you'll help her do this by going to the gym with her or whatever.

Personally I'd just dump her without having this cringeworthy conversation and go after a hot chick but I'm assuming you care about this chick in particular so if that is the case you'll just have to bite the bullet and tell her what you want of her for her to keep you in her life.
 

decades

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you can take her on a date to Lane Bryant.
 

faiNt`

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I joke with girls and tell them they are fat all the time. Example at lunch, someone goes "anyone want this?" and I reply "HB does." (using her name obviously)

I guess it's fine since I'm joking, I couldn't imagine the reaction you would get from being seriously about a girl's weight ..
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

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Go out a play sports with her.
 

mrRuckus

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Start goign to the gym yourself and she will get the hint as you get more muscular and trim yourself that she will have to do it as well to compete for your attentions because she will know now that you are super hot you can replace her in minutes if she doesn't stop being a fat waste of life.
 
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