"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Is there any problem with a girl knowing you like her?

Igetit!

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zekko said:
Most methods teach that you should avoid such overt comments about a girl's looks, since that is what they are generally approached with.
That's true Zekko,and I 100% agree,but notice what you said here.

You said that most methods teach to avoid overt comments about a girl's look since that's what most girls are generally APPROACHED with.

I agree that you shouldn't approach a girl commenting on her looks,but that's isn't the case here.


SteR (the OP) didn't approach this girl. He was merely speaking to his friend about her. Then his friend took what he said and went and told someone else. Then that person told another person,and somehow,it got back to the girl.


It's ok if a girl hears that a guy was speaking about her,that he finds her attractive. That's ok,but hearing that some guy has "feelings" for her is a different story.


And I think that may have been what happened here.


The OP said one thing,but by the time it got back to the girl,it had been changed to something else.


Someone took his statements of attraction/being attracted to the girl,and UNINTENTIONALLY switched it to him "liking" or having "feelings" for her.


....and that's bad.


zekko said:
The reasoning is also so that they think you like them beyond just their appearance.
True.

I think if you're speaking to a third party about her,it's ok to mention her looks,but if you're speaking to her DIRECTLY,then you should learn a few things about her through rapport,then relay them back to her,that is,during the approach.



zekko said:
Is there a reason why this would be okay in this indirect manner, where you aren't actually speaking to her?
Because it's more believeable.


Which would you be more inclined to believe...

A girl telling you DIRECTLY that she thinks you're "hot",or you overhearing her talking to someone else,saying that you're "hot"?


It makes a woman feel good to hear that a guy finds her attractive,but her feeling good upon hearing that isn't enough.


She has to feel good AND be intrigued enough to have interest back. The problem here seems to be that the OP's comments were altered.



There's a thin line between creating attraction in a girl versus boosting her ego. If SteR's comments had gotten back to the girl EXACTLY THE WAY HE SAID THEM,she'd probably try to seek him out,but if someone told her that he "likes her" or has "feelings" for her,she most likely just got her ego boosted out of it,and she'll be ready to turn her nose up at him when he finally does decide to make a move.


Like I said in my first reply,it really just depends on what EXACTLY what said to the girl.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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