Is there any point in this?

[Tomo]

So nothing has come of that date with that girl from my dance studio. I guess what I learnt from this was I should have seen the signs, some things I should have gone for, others I should have left. Most of all, I should have trusted my gut because it is really starting to pick up on things I would never have a few years back. Thank goodness I've stopped pedalising woman so this is not disappointing as much and am getting on with my life and other female friends.

So now the question, it is out right clear she is awkward now around me and not looking to pursue anything further. She didn't turn up to a few classes she said she would (when I was going to chat and ask her out again). Furthermore she has not replied to my offer of a second date. Now I love this studio I am at and so would like to continue on with it. I don't plan on dating anyone from there again as this is the second time it's happened and hopefully the last - regardless of how attractive the woman that come through.

Should I best send her one last message to keep on friendly terms to try to smooth things over so that there is no awkwardness at the studio? Or should I just not care and carry on as is. I guess my worry is if word gets out and how it will affect me around the place.

 

[Tomo]

Actually you know what, mods hopefully delete this. After reading a few threads to get me going again, I don't really care. Her number is deleted on my phone, I don't care what people think of me and if I have to, I will build my rep up again.

 

[3agle 3yes]

It's good to always ask questions and be honest on this site, so I respect you for that.

Now, don't take this the wrong way, but I always see the causes of men's problems with women...I see it in their actions, I see it in their body language and I see it in their words.

And i see it here too...I'm going to isolate sections of your post, just read them over and think about why you are having these problems.

So now the question, it is out right clear she is awkward now around me and not looking to pursue anything further. She didn't turn up to a few classes she said she would (when I was going to chat and ask her out again).

I didn't read your previous thread (if there was one) but what happened on the date? And if she wasn't feeling it why would you "ask her out" again?

Personally, I NEVER go on dates with women. Think about it, if you go on a date with her (take her out to a restaurant, see a movie etc) you are giving her the impression you are courting her.

When I say "courting" I mean "To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry". In other words you're trying to impress her or show her your value WITHOUT accessing her.

Now I love this studio I am at and so would like to continue on with it. I don't plan on dating anyone from there again as this is the second time it's happened and hopefully the last - regardless of how attractive the woman that come through.

Now, again I don't know how your "date" went, but why get so emotional about it?

The "I don't plan on dating anyone from there again as this is the second time it's happened and hopefully the last - regardless of how attractive the woman that come through." is a symptom of your problem and suggests to me you ARE actually dating the women as I described earlier.

There is NOTHING wrong with a man simply behaving like a man. You like women and you find some them in your dance studio attractive (with their asses poking through their leggings and hot pants) so you tried it on with some of them...is that a crime? Two of your attempts have failed...so? If you see an attractive woman it is your DUTY to f*ck em...your DUTY...regardless of what b*tches try to tell you.

And please don't p*ssy out by moving because of what happened with two women...If the b*tches don't like you hitting on them, then they can move the f*ck out themselves.

Should I best send her one last message to keep on friendly terms to try to smooth things over so that there is no awkwardness at the studio?

If there is awkwardness between you and her it would be because YOU chose it to be that way...it's got nothing to do with what happened previously.

If the girl wasn't feeling anything with you then that is that, your attempts to be "friendly" by messaging her seem a lot like you're apologising for dating her...f*ck that. Apologise for nothing...you did nothing wrong.

Or should I just not care and carry on as is. I guess my worry is if word gets out and how it will affect me around the place.

As I already mentioned...don't be influenced by this continually feminised society, you make it seem like you should be hanged for trying to bang a woman you found attractive.

Take my advice (I don't use it anyway): Flirt with ALL the women at your dance studio (even the ugly ones), I mean it, a "creep" to a woman is when a man ISN'T "sexual congruent"...in other words, when you're attracted to a woman or women but aren't honest with yourself in what you want from her your actions and behaviour will come off as dishonest and "weird".

 

[Tomo]

+Rep to 33
Thanks buddy, I always enjoy getting feedback and would like to think bit by bit I am learning and growing.

The date actually went pretty well. It culminated after her forwardness throughout the classes and ended with her kissing me. But thats the thing, like you said, I made it into a date when I probably should have played it more relaxed and leave those things til further down the track. It's now that she is going hot and cold on me that I cannot be bothered dealing with. My friends think it's her distancing herself and wanting me to chase after she has been chasing all semester but most likely I think it is a loss of interest; fair enough, time to move on.

The second part though, I do want to hold true. This studio is very underground and the fact that I have been embraced with open arms, I feel an obligation to uphold a bit of respect. I plan on sticking around. Heck, I joined dance so that I could become good - with goals to join a crew or compete; not to chase tail as I've side tracked myself with. Obviously I am flirting and having fun with all woman at the joint but I have other avenues to meeting woman so it's not like I'm a screaming creep in the back of a yoga class :crazy: Nor will I hold myself back if I were to meet any of these girls out incidentally.

Funny thing how receiving a reply can change the perception of things. I thought their was awkwardness but there isn't. Thing is it took her 3 hours reply to turn down my second date offer even though IM sites show she was on her phone the whole night. Even if she had to work late, I think it's a pretty clear indicator for me to leave things be.

I hope I am not coming across butt hurt or bitter here because I am not. I guess it is the feeling of 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me' and the thought that I should have picked up on things I've learnt prior and from SS but didn't in this case.

I guess the frustration from this thread is stemming from something a HB10 female friend said to me today; how she was interested in me initially but the fact I never seem to make an effort in life is what turned her off. It's rung true that all my life I've coasted by never really pushing myself and I guess it hit home and stung. Disregarding everything, it's time to get back on track in self improving my life. I want to be a somebody. Not just a dude in the crowd.

 

[jurry]

So what exactly do you do with girls eagle eyes if you arent goin on dates? You're just that sexy that they immediately come back to your house upon meeting you?

 

[Mike32ct]

Don't send her anymore texts. Just be friendly and courteous in class to her.

Focus on your dancing. Puss comes and goes. But a good studio is very hard to find. Stay there and keep working hard. Bhang women from outside your dance studio.