Is there a time where "Nice guys finish first?"

[women haze]

Or is being a "nice guy" useless...Where would this world be if there were no nice guys?

I'm curious to see what would happen to civilization if there were no nice guys.

 

[DJ422]

Personally, I find the whole "Nice guy VS Bad Boy (or jerk as some people put it)" Debate to be a bunch of BS. It's all about confidence, being bold and acting. There are plenty of girls who like "nice guys". There just happens to be 5 times as many who for one reason or another are attracted to "bad Boys". Thats why it SEEMS that bad boys finish first, but They attract a different type of girl. I say, to each his own. You don't have to be a jerk to get girls, just confident.

Take this how you will. It doesn't matter if you subscribe to my philosophy or not, I just know what I've found to be true for me. I am a "nice guy" and I've had pretty good success so far, but I'm not a pro and will not claim to be one. That is... I'm not a pro YET.

 

[Tiguere]

yea niceguys always finish first with over the hill women. right after the bad boys have used them for years and turned them into damaged goods.

 

[Tiguere]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVE6B1-tOPM

 

[IamJosan]

I think people misunderstand the 'nice guy' mentality. Being the 'nice guy' is doing what others want you to do, and allowing people to take advantage of you. As oppossed to the 'bad boy' who does what he wants and doesn't care what people think about him. It has nothing to do with being nice or bad.

I'm a nice guy, but I do what I want and I will never let anyone try to take advantage of me!

 

[Packers2010]

yea niceguys always finish first with over the hill women. right after the bad boys have used them for years and turned them into damaged goods.

this is so true man.

even the girl i had oneitis for 7 years decided it was a good idea to fvck me, MORE then once after she broke up with a LTBF.

so it CAN happen. in the RAREST of cases.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Some girls probably like it, at the end of the day this advice is not about machines, it's about humans, and everyone is different.
The so called "laws of attraction," are really only hazy rules, some people will be different to others, but there is however, a very noticeable pattern.
I have met women who have gone out with "nice guys" for ages, good looking women as well, but the vast majority do not.
The whole concept of being a "jerk," I find to be idiotic. I would never want to spend time with a girl so immature as to be turned on by some stupid teenage crush that she had on Colin Farrel or something.
It's not about being a jerk, or a nice guy, it's about being confident in your self, considering yourself to be of value, and worthy, and to convey that to a woman. There's no fool proof way to success with women sadly, but being confident, funny, popular, good job, plenty of hobbies interests, head strong amongst other things is probably the best start you can give yourself.
The thing is I don't see why anyone would want to be a nice guy, in the sense that it is meant on here. If you have all the things listed above, then why on earth would you be needy, clingy, self-doubting etc? You wouldn't. If you have all the things above you would never be short of opportunites with women, sure, you won't be able to get ANY girl, but there will always be options, good options as well, so you lose that neediness and desperation organically, without having to force it.
My personal opinion is if you focus on improving yourself then success with women will follow automatically, it's certainly worked for me.

 

[zekko]

Personally, I find the whole "Nice guy VS Bad Boy (or jerk as some people put it)" Debate to be a bunch of BS. It's all about confidence, being bold and acting.

I pretty much agree with that.

The problem is that the pickup definition of "Nice Guy" is spineless wussy. That's always a formula for losing. A lot of people out in the real world would think of a nice guy as a friendly, social, guy who treats other people with respect, and will help out another person in need. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact that guy will probably get a lot of chicks. But the pickup community twists "nice guy" into being someone who is a doormat for others and lets them take advantage of him. Which is a different thing altogether.

I would say nice guys (not the pickup version) finish first all the time. No one ever notices it however, because then they can't get outraged and say "Why do women always go for the jerks?".

Actually, the pickup definition of a "jerk" probably isn't really a jerk, either. In pickup terms, a jerk is just a guy who maybe uses some C&F and goes after what he wants. In the real world, a jerk is a rude, selfish, worthless person.

 

[DonGorgon]

Or is being a "nice guy" useless...Where would this world be if there were no nice guys?

I'm curious to see what would happen to civilization if there were no nice guys.

Nice guys do well with girls who:

are ugly
are crippled
are not popular
are fat
are not players
are not turned out
are friendless

or are genuinely nice good people (.01% of the female population so dont expect to find her)

no humans are all good or all bad .. try and find a balance and that is best

 

[trrush]

only in the movies...

 

[Cherokee]

The thing about a girl being raised by a good family with proper morals rings true to an extent. This type of girl will go for a nice guy, although he may not spark that instantaneous animal attraction...

The guy who gets the girl, is the guy who makes her wet. End of discussion. It doesn't matter who you are or what you do. Get her dripping and shes yours, nothing else matters. Most girls interpret attraction for love, because love without sex is just a friendship.

It's nature and nurture which decides who you are.

 

[badboyjmm]

I pretty much agree with that.

The problem is that the pickup definition of "Nice Guy" is spineless wussy. That's always a formula for losing. A lot of people out in the real world would think of a nice guy as a friendly, social, guy who treats other people with respect, and will help out another person in need. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact that guy will probably get a lot of chicks. But the pickup community twists "nice guy" into being someone who is a doormat for others and lets them take advantage of him. Which is a different thing altogether.

I would say nice guys (not the pickup version) finish first all the time. No one ever notices it however, because then they can't get outraged and say "Why do women always go for the jerks?".

Actually, the pickup definition of a "jerk" probably isn't really a jerk, either. In pickup terms, a jerk is just a guy who maybe uses some C&F and goes after what he wants. In the real world, a jerk is a rude, selfish, worthless person.

I agree that the PUA community uses the definition of nice guy as being a doormat, but they do have a point.
Here's the origin of the word nice: http://www.answers.com/topic/nice

"Middle English, foolish, from Old French, from Latin nescius, ignorant, from nescīre, to be ignorant."

I also agree that it's not black or white, nice guy vs jerks. IMO most people are in the middle, but often are too eager to please somebody else or they are too full of themselves and people take it as confidence. Perhaps it was more easy and more profitable for the pua community to explain the way to behave with women by explaining the two extremes rather that trying to included every type of personally between those two extremes.

I rather say to a guy that dating is a filter to get a good girl than saying that he should just wait until that right girl come to him...

 

[zekko]

Here's the origin of the word nice: http://www.answers.com/topic/nice

"Middle English, foolish, from Old French, from Latin nescius, ignorant, from nescīre, to be ignorant."

Ha, ha, very good, I wasn't aware of that. But even if that's what the root of the word is, that isn't the actual meaning in our language. Check the definition from the link you provided.

Perhaps it was more easy and more profitable for the pua community to explain the way to behave with women by explaining the two extremes rather that trying to included every type of personally between those two extremes.

Yeah, I agree that's probably what it is - just a teaching tool. The problem is guys read this and aspire to be actual jerks, and go around acting like actual jerks, thinking it will get them women. And if they BELIEVE this, they will be more confident and act more boldly and succeed, and then they will conclude that being a jerk is the right thing to do, when it was actually the confidence and bold action that worked for them.

It's good to maybe be a BIT of a jerk though - being C&F, having some swagger, maybe being a little too self absorbed - I've found this works out well with my personality. But that's not the same as being a full on @sshole.

 

[Wolfgang D]

The thing is, "Nice guy" is used sarcastically. It's about when a woman says to someone who can't get a girlfriend, "You're such a nice guy, I'm sure you'll find someone." (Just not her.)

"Nice guy" is what women say about good guys who they don't date. And a guy gets tired of hearing how nice he is. "If I'm so nice, why won't she date me?" You'd think working hard and being a good person would be enough. It isn't. Not if you want to get the MOST ATTRACTIVE, MOST DESIRABLE WOMEN who everybody else is also after. Then you need more to stand out from the crowd.


Lots of other guys than jerks get women. But what is strange is that the jerks get women who shouldn't be touching them with a ten-foot pole. "Why the hell does she go out with that jerk?" So that's why looking at what they do is interesting.

So it's not about not being nice. It's about being able to thrill.

 

[rum]

Nice guys with money clean up pretty nicely...

 

[bankai]

I saw this old lady struggling with her groceries and decided to help her to the parking lot. When we got there she was waiting for her ride to arrive, her ride turned out to be her grand-daughter.

I ended up dating that girl for awhile.

so YES, being nice is good. Keep in mind there's a difference between nice and being a push-over.

 

[PapiChulo]

Badboyjmm is right on the money!

 

[powpow]

I have "saved" a few girls by being a nice guy.

and by "save" I mean "steal her away from her d!ck boyfriend".

If you can combine alpha and nice, then you can get some poon.

 

[nismo-4]

Nice guys do well with girls who:

are ugly
are crippled
are not popular
are fat
are not players
are not turned out
are friendless

or are genuinely nice good people (.01% of the female population so dont expect to find her)

And even then an @$$hole still wins!

Nice guys finish first when they're extremely handsome, popular, and rich.

Nice guys finishing first is some fairytale sh*t and only happens in the movies.

Case closed.

 

[zekko]

"Nice guy" is what women say about good guys who they don't date.

To add to the confusion, women will often describe the guy they're really into as "nice". "What's he like?" "Oh, he's so nice". I've heard this a gazillion times, and yes the girls are genuinely very attracted to them. In fact, if they are attracted to the guy, they will consider him nice (give him the benefit of the doubt) whether he is or not.

Nice guys finish first when they're extremely handsome, popular, and rich.

That's the whole key. It's all about value.
Being "nice" in itself is not an attracting factor.
You have to have something going for you, being fun, tall, dominant, handsome, having social proof, fame, wealth, something.

Once she's attracted, and it turns out you're nice (not the pickup definition), that's fine, that's a plus. But you have to attract her first, being nice will not attract her.

It's like a guy wants a nice girl. But he isn't going to be attracted to the ugly fatty. It doesn't matter if she's nice or not. He's going to notice the pretty girl first, and then find out if she's nice or not.