Is there a reason I SHOULD believe her?

[The Decay of Meaning]

I really want to believe this girl, but I have great problems doing so. Should I trust her or not?

Episode 1: The day after we met, we had sex. Before we had sex without condoms, I asked her if she was clean and she said that the only guy she had been with since she was tested, used a condom. I asked her again "are you completely sure", and she said "yes". I asked her a third and fourth time after that a few days later (I don't know why, I guess I wanted to be completely sure).

Episode 2: A week or two after that, I started getting itchy, and when I peed it started to sting. I figured it was a urinary infection of some sort and it has happened to me before in the winter. I ignored it as it usually goes away after a week but it didn't. I confronted her and said I might have caught something. I told her I was going to check it and that I might have clamydia. She started changing her story, that the guy in episode 1 actually dropped the condom and came in her but she wasn't sure because she was drunk. I said "yes or no?", she replied "yes". At that point I felt it was suspcious. Why change the story when I bring in clamydia?
Episode 3: I meet her at the bus, but she is a bit distant, doesn't want to hold hands that much. I try to kiss her when we go off the buss, but she just blow smoke in my face. I find her attitude weird, so I go to buy groceries but my gut feeling says something is wrong. I check up on her. She is going on the bus, I go to talk to her so I prick her shoulder, and a guy behind her says "what? What?" annoyed or almost angrily. I asked her: Who is this guy, do you know him? She says no. Then later, she says it's a friend and they just met, because he owes her some money, so they were going to pick it up. Why lie about it? She later said that I could call the guy and call all the people there to check.

Why I should believe her:

* She stays over at my place a lot
* She wants us to have a serious relationship
* I think she genuinly cares about us and actually may almost be a little obsessed with me, in a positive way
* She seems sincere in her voice when I bring these issues up

So, is it just my radar that screams "get away, now!", or is it just me? Please also state why I should believe her, what I am missing her, because I really want to believe her (but it seems that I can't: I mean, why change the story? Her only explanation was that she started thinking more about it and the night was unclear to her because of the alcohol).

 

[COD]

well first things first..........GO GET TESTED........for a definitive answer.

Second bust out the condoms if you're not sure

Third............I wrote an article on deception detection.........saves a lot of tme and wondering.

let me see if i can find the link

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Okay thanks.

I have put everything sexual on halt until I find the answer if I'm infected or not, and it feels okay to be honest. I don't feel the sex is pure if I am going to wonder if I caught something or not.

I don't think the test will give a definitive answer. What if her story is true, what if they did in fact drop the condom at the end?

Also, what I find much more important is that I ask her in total about 5 times (of course not in a row, I'm not crazy) if she was clean and had no disease "yes","yes","yes","yes", then "I might have clamydia, why?", "you know what, I think he actually came in me, it must be from him". Isn't this odd?
I would love to believe her, but it's odd I feel.

 

[COD]

watch her head, see if it conflicts with her answer. People say yes then ever so slightly shake their head NO. The whole science to deception detection lies with in the face and body.

Accussing someone of an impropriety almost always results in false answer. Few people can admit that.

Also be warned, DECEPTION DETECTION is a learned skill, if you go looking for lies you may not like what you find. An acusing someone (calling them out on their lie) often alienates you and causes havock.

The AVERAGE person lies 3 times in a 10 minute conversation, few are totally honest. When lies affect your job, income, health, etc thats when the skill set should be introduced. ITS NOT A PALOUR TRICK to whip out at parties..........it to save you time ,money, health, etc.

Good liars are hard to spot, YOU know somethings up when U hear a lie........if it feels odd, it just as well may be.