Like I said, there is also some truth in what I said. I had some bias, but I am not sure you guys are healtier nor I don't think you really help people by dismounting everything they say. But I can only change myself. I thank those guys who make me realize some of my BIAS and my own mistakes. But I can also try to make realize that the way to speak in this forum is so mean, with the purpose to "destroy" other people ideas/toughts/experiences with this "over the top" masculinity and this mean language. There is really no point in doing so, if not the purpose to be accepted by a community who behave in this way. Over the top masculinity is just bull**** for insecure men who are sccared to be themself. To be themself a lot of people (mainly men) get triggered and become aggressive. But anyway I'll just be gratefull for the answers which manke me grow, and for the rest, for all the bull**** tought mean masculinity stuff, that is just a mask to be accepted by other men, so, insecurity.
Masculinity in my opinion is nothing else than awareness, self and outside awareness. And the core of self confidence is to accept your self and love yourself. When you are able to love yourself, by being kind and caring with you own toughts, you basically loose any need for the outcome, because the love you look for is in your own experience, and no more relegated to someone else.
When you are attached to the outcome, to the need that somebody else have to love or accept you to make you feel happy, that is slavery. So I would say that the need to be accepted by a larger group of men, by being mean and tought, is only a need to be accepted by others, so basically you are slave of other people opinion. This is not "love and peace" bull**** as some of you surelly would like to read this post, but is pure psicology, is science. We are social creature, human being. We need social connections, but if the main connection, the one we have with our self, is "mean,tought,sever" we just will project that same behavior to other people.
What happen when this bad relationship with ourself is also made up just for the purpose to being accepted by others? The result is just that you become a miserable person accepted by other miserabel people. Being sad with other sad people. This maybe can work with the majority of the people, but not for me. I prefer genuine relationship and I'll just avoid the "strict but fair" miserable relationship. In the end, we all do what works for ourself. There isn't only one way. Is a choise. I choose not to conform, I choose me
