"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is the world coming to an end?

vonbock

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I can't believe this. One of the students I am going to mentor is A 6' 2 asian guy who is going to an elite college, confident, and looks like a Calvin Klein model. A guy who looks like this I usually see is a playboy, hanging out in the clubs, and just hanging out with girls all over him. Instead he concentrates more on his books. I saw the girl he is dating. She has a nice body but looks like the studious type and facewise is a 2-3. Here is a Calvin Klein model with everything going for him, mature as a 40 year old guy, but with a girl who is leagues below him. Usually it is the opposite way. If I looked like him, man, I would have different girl every day of the week.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Just proof that there are guys out there who look for more than just a pretty face in a woman. Ask him how well things are going in the relationship, you may be surprised.
 

DJDamage

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From what I know of Asian people (epecially chinese, Korean and Japanese) then tend to be pussified by their parents from a very early age by wanting their kids to be obedient, fear them and making them study hard so in the future they will get a good high paying job and take care of them when they grow old.

vonbock said:
is going to an elite college, confident, and looks like a Calvin Klein model.

Instead he concentrates more on his books.
At least he is going places and going to an elite college he may be require at the moment to concentrate more on his books to keep high grades. Girls are not everything in this world so maybe you should cut him some slack.

Hey I just got 4000 posts, do I get a prize of some sort?
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Atleast he is focusing on himself! Sure, he could probably pull hot chicks with his "looks." (remember that doesn't matter) But, whether or not you think she is hot or not. If he likes her for who she is. That is nobody's business.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DonGorgon

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vonbock said:
I can't believe this. Here is a Calvin Klein model with everything going for him, mature as a 40 year old guy, but with a girl who is leagues below him. .
Guys date down women date up..WHY? Demand and supply disparities.. (not enough women)
 

yama600rr

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why are you curious as to why he's doing these things. what's wrong with him focusing on school and having a girl friend who is the same way. maybe so of you guys should focus less on hooking up with girls and maybe focusing on other things that are more important.
he may seemed like the typical asian, into school, nerdy, but that's why he's going to be successful and educated as most asians are.
 

vonbock

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yama;How do you define success?

1. By everyone's definition on here, I would be labeled a success.
But because I am Mr nice guy, you know what that means with women.

Job? I am in a field where you have to act nice and kiss A** to people, have to worry about getting sued everyday, worried about state agencies after you, insurance companies and government cutting back on your pay, people who think you should take care of everything for them for free, call you at all times of the night, and get to spend 10 years in school just to get done.

Now compare this to someother guys I know.
1. club owner : makes millions opening club selling alcohol, and all the illegal stuff. He is one tough MF and doesn't take crap from anyone. Has practically done every girl he meets. Girls respect him even though he is one mean dude. If he gets arrested, pays off lawyers and goes back to making millions. Enjoys life.

2. Air conditioning repairmen, plumber, garage door guy - ever try to hire these guys? They fix it 45 minutes and charge you over 300 dollars for any job they do. advantage : make tons of money, go home at night and enjoy life. no worries

3. local gangster : all the women want him , makes more money than all of us, can go to the local club and blow 1 grand on drinks that night, no big deal.

4. LAwyer:enough said : Ever see how much they charge you for calling them up?

See this guy wants to be a doctor, which he will learn how awful it is pretty soon, thinking that this is success. Why not open a club, make more money than doctors, get more women than every guy on here, and get to enjoy life?
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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seasonedplayer

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vonbock said:
yama;How do you define success?

1. By everyone's definition on here, I would be labeled a success.
But because I am Mr nice guy, you know what that means with women.

Job? I am in a field where you have to act nice and kiss A** to people, have to worry about getting sued everyday, worried about state agencies after you, insurance companies and government cutting back on your pay, people who think you should take care of everything for them for free, call you at all times of the night, and get to spend 10 years in school just to get done.

Now compare this to someother guys I know.
1. club owner : makes millions opening club selling alcohol, and all the illegal stuff. He is one tough MF and doesn't take crap from anyone. Has practically done every girl he meets. Girls respect him even though he is one mean dude. If he gets arrested, pays off lawyers and goes back to making millions. Enjoys life.

2. Air conditioning repairmen, plumber, garage door guy - ever try to hire these guys? They fix it 45 minutes and charge you over 300 dollars for any job they do. advantage : make tons of money, go home at night and enjoy life. no worries

3. local gangster : all the women want him , makes more money than all of us, can go to the local club and blow 1 grand on drinks that night, no big deal.

4. LAwyer:enough said : Ever see how much they charge you for calling them up?

See this guy wants to be a doctor, which he will learn how awful it is pretty soon, thinking that that is success. Why not open a club, make more money than doctors, get more women than every guy on here, and get to enjoy life?
I disagree that this is a stupid thread. We are taught to get an education, learn and that way, financial and personal success will follow. THIS ONLY HOLDS TRUE IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY. In a first world country like the US, why bother getting an education when you get taxed to the hilt AND GIRLS DO NOT RESPECT YOU

I went to college and make a lot of money. Yet, I am at work all the time and 50% of my money goes to the taxman. I could have not gone to college, become a plumber, paid no tax, do well financially AND get laid regularly because:
-tradesman have time to meet people
-tradesman look fitter because tbhey are not couped up in an office all day
-women are too stupid to understand a job with potential. They simply know the colour of money

the guy that wrote this thread is slaving away in college and probably asking himself what for
 

ready123

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vonbock said:
See this guy wants to be a doctor, which he will learn how awful it is pretty soon, thinking that that is success. Why not open a club, make more money than doctors, get more women than every guy on here, and get to enjoy life?
here's what a doctor gets after 10+ years of higher education. guaranteed 6 figures for life (from what I read the low end of the starting payscale is something like 120k), perceived social status, and one of the most unique service professions out there in terms of social responsibility and altruism. if you hate being a doctor, that's a personal problem because almost every career has an unique intrinsic set of bullsht to deal with. doctors are not special. at least no one's trying to outsource your job

and owning a club is not cake. most clubs are restaurants by day so the owner spends most of his time dealing with the restaurant aspect. promoters are used to turn these restaurants into hot spots at night, which is very competitive because think about it, in a major city, how many major clubs are there to hit up on a given night? Probably only 4 or 5 max. Take Vegas for example. You can name all the clubs worth going to using 10 fingers or less. Add to this the fact your club name brand has a shelf life of less than 5 years and you got a lot of sht to worry about

I think it's funny that a doctor is jealous of hvac repairmen, plumbers, and gangsters. if you really hate practicing medicine that much, go learn how to fix air conditioning so you can spend your summer sweating to death up in someone's attic and only hit 6 figures after doing massive overtime
 

ready123

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seasonedplayer said:
I disagree that this is a stupid thread. We are taught to get an education, learn and that way, financial and personal success will follow. THIS ONLY HOLDS TRUE IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY. In a first world country like the US, why bother getting an education when you get taxed to the hilt AND GIRLS DO NOT RESPECT YOU

I went to college and make a lot of money. Yet, I am at work all the time and 50% of my money goes to the taxman. I could have not gone to college, become a plumber, paid no tax, do well financially AND get laid regularly because:
-tradesman have time to meet people
-tradesman look fitter because tbhey are not couped up in an office all day
-women are too stupid to understand a job with potential. They simply know the colour of money

the guy that wrote this thread is slaving away in college and probably asking himself what for
if you really think becoming a plumber is the way to go, then go become a plumber instead of acting helpless and whining about it

the victim mentality and rationalizations in this thread are ridiculous
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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vonbock

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ready:I respect your opinion and I can see where you are coming from. But lets look from true point point of view that not many people notice unless you are a physician yourself.

1. you are talking about 120k. lets say after taxes you take home 85k. Now that is 4 years of college, 4 years med school, 3 years minimum of residency for total of 11 years to get 85k. But rememeber, unless you are perfect doctor who never has made any mistakes in your life, you always have a chance for one bad thing to happen and get 1,000,000$ lawsuit against you. Now club owner makes millions, my local plumber here charges 125/hour labor that comes out to more than 85k a year. If you call the plumber at 3am for a pipe, he charges double. Doctors, patients call at 3am to get refills and expect you to do it.

2 social respect: Doctors have to be nice guys(you know what that means),
Never seen women say "I would love to be with that nice guy doctor over bad boy club owner who does 2 girls day". Also, majority of people here would respect local gangster boss over doctor anyday.

3. club? most cities I see have more than 4-5 clubs. Shoot, Las Vegas, I club hopped one night there and went to more than 5 clubs. Anyways after 5 years, you can change the name of the club and now you got the new hotspot.

4. Air conditioning repairmen? shoot they charged me 300 dollars just to replace the thermostat in less than 30 minutes. Lets see 11 years of school vs 6 months of airconditioning classes?
 

Being_the_Don

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These threads would be SO much more productive if race wasn't injected into them. Why does race make the threads so bad? Simple: instead of looking at people as people sooner or later (sometimes from the OP) get into ugly stereotypes about one race or another. There is far too much racial insecurity on these boards which says a lot about why a number of guys who are not in relationships find themselves in such predicaments. :crazy:
 

seasonedplayer

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vonbock said:
ready:I respect your opinion and I can see where you are coming from. But lets look from true point point of view that not many people notice unless you are a physician yourself.

1. you are talking about 120k. lets say after taxes you take home 85k. Now that is 4 years of college, 4 years med school, 3 years minimum of residency for total of 11 years to get 85k. But rememeber, unless you are perfect doctor who never has made any mistakes in your life, you always have a chance for one bad thing to happen and get 1,000,000$ lawsuit against you. Now club owner makes millions, my local plumber here charges 125/hour labor that comes out to more than 85k a year. If you call the plumber at 3am for a pipe, he charges double. Doctors, patients call at 3am to get refills and expect you to do it.

2 social respect: Doctors have to be nice guys(you know what that means),
Never seen women say "I would love to be with that nice guy doctor over bad boy club owner who does 2 girls day". Also, majority of people here would respect local gangster boss over doctor anyday.

3. club? most cities I see have more than 4-5 clubs. Shoot, Las Vegas, I club hopped one night there and went to more than 5 clubs. Anyways after 5 years, you can change the name of the club and now you got the new hotspot.

4. Air conditioning repairmen? shoot they charged me 300 dollars just to replace the thermostat in less than 30 minutes. Lets see 11 years of school vs 6 months of airconditioning classes?

Further to this, if you work your a**e off and become an investment banker and make a high salary, it doesn't matter because all your competition talk up their own jobs and the stupid women can't tell the difference. What women want to see is something PHYSICALLY TANGIBLE e.g a nightclub, chain of shops, tradesman franchise that PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF. Women then get social status and can tell people, 'I am going out with the guy that owns xyz'

I work in office environment where everyone makes a lot of money. Yet, EVERY ONE OF THE MEN HAS AN UGLY WIFE - AND BELIEVE YOU ME, YOU NEED TO BE PRETTY SUAVE TO GET SUCCEED IN MY PROFESSION. I see all the beautiful women with tradesman, restaurant owners, fitness training businesses etc
 

ready123

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Vonbock, I'm curious what your specialization is

I think any business owner including club owners could potentially make millions but most of them won't. Like any business, success is the exception. There are more than 5 clubs in a given city but on a given night, only a handful of them are doing well. IE If you're in Vegas on a Sunday, Body English is the place everyone wants to be at. Or here in LA, I could drive out to Hollywood and for the 20 something scene, there's Ivar, White Lotus, Vanguard, Element, Sugar (I'm hitting this spot up in about an hour), Joseph's Cafe, Shag, Highalnds and some other clubs I can't remember within a few blocks of each other. Depending on word of mouth, most of these clubs will be dead on a given night while only a handful will be packed to capacity. That means most of these clubs owners are not doing gonna be doing well. And every time the club reinvents itself, a ton of money is put into renovations but it's a gamble whether or not the same crowd can be drawn.

The grass always looks greener on the other side. The high income those HVAC repairmen and plumbers brag about is before taxes and only comes from working crazy overtime, and about half of that OT pay is lost to taxes.

Investment Banking is in a league of its own though. One of the only jobs I know of that has given guys heart attacks at 35. But still, if you can't AMOG a repairman on a superficial level as an investment banker, it's your social skills at fault, not the job, not the higher education, not the time you spent getting that higher education. And that's totally fixable

The thing is it seems like you guys are letting your miserable job experiences tokenize your entire profession and are backwards rationalizing your chosen path as the cause for a lack of success with women. None of it has any real correlation and it's a false limiting belief.
 

DJVladdy

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LOL

I'm working at a pharmacy (tech) for now...
Doctors = nice guys? Since when? Good one buddy!

Also, refill at 3AM?
Dude, you guys can't even answer a f*cken fax for a refill approval for 1 week!
Patient comes into a pharmacy demanding attention in 3 seconds or less - at a doctors office - they'll sit as long as they have to and wait.

Seriously - the pharmacy manager where I work, I feel bad for the guy.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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