The Columbus Myth
Don Juan
Ok i know ive only registered a couple days ago and i know i go to an all guys school but here me out! this is my story not some fiction i wanted to write (my pen name on fanfiction.net is Myth Lord, check it out if u want)
In my life i was always expected to be great because of my parents.
my mom was THE MOST LOVED teacher in my last school. parents with kids in other classes begged her for advice on educating thier kids. the 2 years she served as VP ppl went to her with their problems because they trusted her not the principal who was always begging to hear ppls problems. because she was an icon i was expected to be the model student. the truth is i was a tag along with 1 friend i REALLY trusted. all my other friends even the ones im best friends with now never truely believed in me.
i went to a catholic school connected to what is considered the best church in the area. my dad was an icon in this part of my school. he was the head of 2 EXTREMELY imporntant groups within the church. he also had a rags to riches story that i really didnt get until lately. his story inspired ppl. the fact that he could have awesome stuff and have what ppl considered a happy marriage made him a go to guy. when ppl wanted advice of stuff they went to preists and the top 3 church icons.
i was supposedly destined to be great. i was "destined" to be the pride and joy of my school. i was "destined" to be a girl magnet. i was a great student. i didnt have to be a teachers pet to be part of the teachers favorites list. i worked hard at my life. i was considered the life of the class room and some ppl even went as far as to tell my parents, teachers, and administrators that i was a genius.
that world began to fall apart at the age of 7. before this age i had injuries here and there. in had viral menegitis almost broke my ankle on several occasions while being the MVP of my soccer team and being on of the best damn goalies in the league. at seven i had an extremely wierd injury. i was pulled of a swing and fell about five feet (the swing was still wrapped around the beam from the last hurricane) and landed in a postion that caused my femur to completely break. some point before the abulance arrived the top part of the broken bone spinned 180 degrees inside my leg. my first docter used the wrong treatment (skin traction) in stead of placing the bone in postion and drilling the pin in. a total of 1 1/2 months in the hospital 3 in a wheel chair 2 with a walker or crutches.
the next year in another freak and extremely stupid accicdent i was kicked in the face by my nieghbors horse. if the hoof hit a mm higher i wouldnt be writing this. the only thing i remeber is taking a CAT scan before the wound was stiched up. in the CAT scan i was throwing up blood and i think thats wat scared that memory into my mind. well now i have a F*cked up lip and neck problems.
well there goes one thing that made my what i was. my looks. during the broken leg episode i ended up beoming very overwieght. well i still had the whole genius thing going for me, right? well i think my mom really wanted to find out. she made me take an IQ test. the test still huants me to this day. it makes me think my mom doesnt believe in me. well tonight i finally saw the results. and even though i now know im only above average not a genius i still feel the pressure to become one.
so now two things i really had going for me are gone. my looks because of injuries. my smarts because i now doubted myself. so i decided it was time to try sports again. well i went back to swimming which had been a side sport in a way. i was still a good swimmer but not wat i used to be. all i wanted to do was be THE best. well i was given a shot at the age of 10. i made a JO (junior olypics) relay team. the relay team i was on hadnt lost a race that year. well i have a febuary birth day and JOs are in march. a week after my B DAy im pulled aside and told i aged up a class and i was no longer a part of the relay team and that i was no longer going to JOs. after this i quit swimming.
so theres all 3. and as for friends well 4 th grade kinda hit the reset button on all my friends. everyone began loooking to become friends the "best" kids in the class and i was no longer one of them. so i decided i would become a prakster. well all i managed to do was get in lots of trouble and become even more of a reject.
i decided to become a poser is 6th grade. anything that was thought cool i did or tried to do. i kept this going til the end of 1st quater in 7th grade. my parents filed for divorce. my dad become angry and my mom became extremly emotional. they lost their seats of power and were suddenly looked down upon. so now my so called destiny was destroyed. well now i became a "pendulum". i went from jerk to nice guy and back in minutes. my emotins were screwed and now all the sudden i needed to see the school consuler.
the consuler thought i was going to go violent. thats all he thought about. he pretended to care and then in the "Charecter Education" class ( a class where we supposedly learned how to build chacter) he would bring up my latest disipline problem as an example of wat not to do.
now i was simply confused all the time. suddenly i thought that if i could get a girl then i could fix my problems. yea sure girls were important to me before and i had a few "AWWW how cute" relationships that lasted a week at most here and there but now i was addicted. one big problem in this theroy was i was now insecure beyond belief so how the hell was i supposed to talk to girls. anything i said or did around a girl i found a way to beat myself up over.
finally i deciced i was done at the end of eighth grade. i decided to let the girls find their way to me not me go to them. so now i just hung out with my so called friends and my 1 true friend. well i guess this worked because i some how twisted my thoughts into happy ones.
when i gave up on girls i found a new way to survivve. i became a charecter from a book or movie everyday. i would act like them at school and soak myself in games and more stories at home. i did this until the end of eigth grade. at the end of the year i "blended" all the charecters i liked into one.
well guess what i thought i was happy. well i found this site a few weeks ago (registered this week) and from wat i read i found out that i wasnt happy that i was an exetreme AFC. i now releised the depersion and frustration i was buried in charecters. so i wrote down what i wanted to be, what i now realiased i was, and what i knew were my faults. i realiased wat i was hiding and i brought it back out. i brought back the caring and smart person that i was back in the "golden days". im still working on my delvoped laziness and my "fear" of women. as for my looks i realised that im not bad looking and that as i aged the scars faded and the looks came back in a new way. i asked a good friend wat she thought of me and she lied the first time. the second time she told me falt out that i was good looking in my own way but that i needed to get back in shape.
i posted this because i felt that i needed to finally get this of my chest and tell it to ppl who wont BS me. i wanted to tell my story and how much this way of life , the DJ life, is helping me.
In my life i was always expected to be great because of my parents.
my mom was THE MOST LOVED teacher in my last school. parents with kids in other classes begged her for advice on educating thier kids. the 2 years she served as VP ppl went to her with their problems because they trusted her not the principal who was always begging to hear ppls problems. because she was an icon i was expected to be the model student. the truth is i was a tag along with 1 friend i REALLY trusted. all my other friends even the ones im best friends with now never truely believed in me.
i went to a catholic school connected to what is considered the best church in the area. my dad was an icon in this part of my school. he was the head of 2 EXTREMELY imporntant groups within the church. he also had a rags to riches story that i really didnt get until lately. his story inspired ppl. the fact that he could have awesome stuff and have what ppl considered a happy marriage made him a go to guy. when ppl wanted advice of stuff they went to preists and the top 3 church icons.
i was supposedly destined to be great. i was "destined" to be the pride and joy of my school. i was "destined" to be a girl magnet. i was a great student. i didnt have to be a teachers pet to be part of the teachers favorites list. i worked hard at my life. i was considered the life of the class room and some ppl even went as far as to tell my parents, teachers, and administrators that i was a genius.
that world began to fall apart at the age of 7. before this age i had injuries here and there. in had viral menegitis almost broke my ankle on several occasions while being the MVP of my soccer team and being on of the best damn goalies in the league. at seven i had an extremely wierd injury. i was pulled of a swing and fell about five feet (the swing was still wrapped around the beam from the last hurricane) and landed in a postion that caused my femur to completely break. some point before the abulance arrived the top part of the broken bone spinned 180 degrees inside my leg. my first docter used the wrong treatment (skin traction) in stead of placing the bone in postion and drilling the pin in. a total of 1 1/2 months in the hospital 3 in a wheel chair 2 with a walker or crutches.
the next year in another freak and extremely stupid accicdent i was kicked in the face by my nieghbors horse. if the hoof hit a mm higher i wouldnt be writing this. the only thing i remeber is taking a CAT scan before the wound was stiched up. in the CAT scan i was throwing up blood and i think thats wat scared that memory into my mind. well now i have a F*cked up lip and neck problems.
well there goes one thing that made my what i was. my looks. during the broken leg episode i ended up beoming very overwieght. well i still had the whole genius thing going for me, right? well i think my mom really wanted to find out. she made me take an IQ test. the test still huants me to this day. it makes me think my mom doesnt believe in me. well tonight i finally saw the results. and even though i now know im only above average not a genius i still feel the pressure to become one.
so now two things i really had going for me are gone. my looks because of injuries. my smarts because i now doubted myself. so i decided it was time to try sports again. well i went back to swimming which had been a side sport in a way. i was still a good swimmer but not wat i used to be. all i wanted to do was be THE best. well i was given a shot at the age of 10. i made a JO (junior olypics) relay team. the relay team i was on hadnt lost a race that year. well i have a febuary birth day and JOs are in march. a week after my B DAy im pulled aside and told i aged up a class and i was no longer a part of the relay team and that i was no longer going to JOs. after this i quit swimming.
so theres all 3. and as for friends well 4 th grade kinda hit the reset button on all my friends. everyone began loooking to become friends the "best" kids in the class and i was no longer one of them. so i decided i would become a prakster. well all i managed to do was get in lots of trouble and become even more of a reject.
i decided to become a poser is 6th grade. anything that was thought cool i did or tried to do. i kept this going til the end of 1st quater in 7th grade. my parents filed for divorce. my dad become angry and my mom became extremly emotional. they lost their seats of power and were suddenly looked down upon. so now my so called destiny was destroyed. well now i became a "pendulum". i went from jerk to nice guy and back in minutes. my emotins were screwed and now all the sudden i needed to see the school consuler.
the consuler thought i was going to go violent. thats all he thought about. he pretended to care and then in the "Charecter Education" class ( a class where we supposedly learned how to build chacter) he would bring up my latest disipline problem as an example of wat not to do.
now i was simply confused all the time. suddenly i thought that if i could get a girl then i could fix my problems. yea sure girls were important to me before and i had a few "AWWW how cute" relationships that lasted a week at most here and there but now i was addicted. one big problem in this theroy was i was now insecure beyond belief so how the hell was i supposed to talk to girls. anything i said or did around a girl i found a way to beat myself up over.
finally i deciced i was done at the end of eighth grade. i decided to let the girls find their way to me not me go to them. so now i just hung out with my so called friends and my 1 true friend. well i guess this worked because i some how twisted my thoughts into happy ones.
when i gave up on girls i found a new way to survivve. i became a charecter from a book or movie everyday. i would act like them at school and soak myself in games and more stories at home. i did this until the end of eigth grade. at the end of the year i "blended" all the charecters i liked into one.
well guess what i thought i was happy. well i found this site a few weeks ago (registered this week) and from wat i read i found out that i wasnt happy that i was an exetreme AFC. i now releised the depersion and frustration i was buried in charecters. so i wrote down what i wanted to be, what i now realiased i was, and what i knew were my faults. i realiased wat i was hiding and i brought it back out. i brought back the caring and smart person that i was back in the "golden days". im still working on my delvoped laziness and my "fear" of women. as for my looks i realised that im not bad looking and that as i aged the scars faded and the looks came back in a new way. i asked a good friend wat she thought of me and she lied the first time. the second time she told me falt out that i was good looking in my own way but that i needed to get back in shape.
i posted this because i felt that i needed to finally get this of my chest and tell it to ppl who wont BS me. i wanted to tell my story and how much this way of life , the DJ life, is helping me.