"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Is the hooky worth it?

The LadyKiller

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I have worked at a large company for over two years. Outside of two weeks vacation per year that we receive, I have never missed a day of work. Meanwhile, my friend is throwing a big party this weekend that I'd want to attend. Unfortunately, I am scheduled to work late that night and wouldn't be able to go - under normal circumstances.

You can guess the question - should I call in "sick" that day? The reason I am posting here is because it's not as cookie-cutter as it seems. First, this party will feature a lot of co-workers (people at my level). No superiors or bosses will be there. Secondly, I have a week off beginning the next day. In theory, I'd be adding a day to my "vacation." Might look a little fishy. Ethical factor: Another peer (already at work) would be rotated to fill in for me; it would alter people's assignments that day. I'd be a little paranoid of a boss "finding out" even though they wouldn't sniff around.

At the same time, I have some factors in my favor. First, as stated earlier, I have never missed a day of work. We have an allotted number of sick days per year that do not roll over. Secondly, no one publicly broadcasts that a sick day has been used - nor do the schedulers ask follow-up questions (only if it's being abused). At a large company, they simply alter people's assignments that day. Finally, I'm not scheduled to work on my usual assignment, so it wouldn't involve my usual/direct supervisors. Ethical factor: I've been rotated at least a few times due to others calling out "sick." I don't feel one day being "sick" presents much of a job risk.

What's your feeling on using the "sick" day - good or bad move? I wrote more than I needed to, probably because it's a moral conflict. I never missed a day of work. I never missed a class in college. I only missed one day of high school when I had a medical procedure done. Therefore, it's a weird feeling.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Machina29

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Given the fact that other coworkers will be there, and you are starting vacation the next day, I wouldn't skip if you value your job. The coworkers could rat you out if you ever piss them off.

Then again, you only live once. When you are 90, you won't wish that you had worked another day, but you might wish you had partied more.
 

Bible_Belt

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A lot of companies have gotten around this situation by calling sick days what they really are, "personal days." You get a certain amount of time off whether you are sick or not, so there is no incentive to pretend to be sick.

I would just tell the boss straight-up "look, I want Friday off, but I'm not going to lie to you and call in sick." If your boss is worth a sh!t, he or she will value not being lied to. Even if they put it down officially as sick time, they should appreciate the extra notice to make accommodations. Plus, if you ever do legitimately call in sick, they'll believe you.
 

Huffman

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Agree with Bible Belt. In my experience, it pays to be a little demanding sometimes.

Now, if you REALLY depend on the job and your situation is bad, then you have no choice but to stand down and swallow the situation.

But otherwise, ask for that day. Many bosses I know always try to make the best arrangements for all parties - this ensures loyalty in your underlings for a long time.

Now imagine you called in sick - what would the boss do? COULD he replace you if you were actually sick? If NO, then your company is f*cked, and you are too. If yes, then ask for that replacement, and make it up to him.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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The LadyKiller

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I appreciate the advice so far, thanks. I am likely one of the younger posters here, so the wisdom here is a plus. Follow-ups are in bold:

Machina29 said:
Given the fact that other coworkers will be there, and you are starting vacation the next day, I wouldn't skip if you value your job. The coworkers could rat you out if you ever piss them off.

True. I don't want co-workers gaining any ammo against me, as I currently have a squeaky clean record. Never using a sick/personal day is quite an achievement. However, it's tough to envision them telling our bosses, "LadyKiller wasn't really preoccupied on his sick/personal day [weeks/months] ago" and the bosses then conducting an investigation as a result. Others have called in "sick" before.

Then again, you only live once. When you are 90, you won't wish that you had worked another day, but you might wish you had partied more.

That's the other side of the coin. I don't have a whole lot of excitement in my life at the moment. That's why this is tempting. It seems this isn't some small party either.
Bible_Belt said:
A lot of companies have gotten around this situation by calling sick days what they really are, "personal days." You get a certain amount of time off whether you are sick or not, so there is no incentive to pretend to be sick.

I believe we still have "sick days." At the same time, a friend told me that the company has done away with paying employees for not using their sick days. According to him, the new change encourages employees to play hooky for the sick days they are allotted.

I would just tell the boss straight-up "look, I want Friday off, but I'm not going to lie to you and call in sick." If your boss is worth a sh!t, he or she will value not being lied to. Even if they put it down officially as sick time, they should appreciate the extra notice to make accommodations. Plus, if you ever do legitimately call in sick, they'll believe you.

This is the scary part. Our company is BIG and CORPORATE. Apparently, I wouldn't even be telling the boss. From what I have been told by friends, we have a hotline to call, we tell them we're "sick" and that's the end of the interaction.
Huffman said:
Now, if you REALLY depend on the job and your situation is bad, then you have no choice but to stand down and swallow the situation.

But otherwise, ask for that day. Many bosses I know always try to make the best arrangements for all parties - this ensures loyalty in your underlings for a long time.

As mentioned before, the company's size/corporate nature is to the extent that we have a hotline to call and those people take care of it. To paint a picture, we have a few hundred employees in the same department.

Now imagine you called in sick - what would the boss do? COULD he replace you if you were actually sick? If NO, then your company is f*cked, and you are too. If yes, then ask for that replacement, and make it up to him.
Yes, they would rotate people around who are also working that day. I've been on the receiving end of this several times.
Again, I might be overanalyzing this just a tad, but it's a new situation for me.
 

The LadyKiller

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Sorry to bump this, just wanted to see if anyone had any last thoughts - decision time is imminent.

I'm leaning towards going to work. The positives would be that I keep my personal iron man streak alive (not sure my bosses necessarily care long term), I wouldn't be potentially screwing over anyone and I'd have done the "right thing."

On the other hand, I haven't had a thrill in awhile. The party is expected to be rather good.
 

JulieWatson31

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Honesty is never the wrong action to take.

I would ask for the day off or talk to your boss and be straight.
 

The LadyKiller

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JulieWatson31 said:
I would ask for the day off or talk to your boss and be straight.
As I wrote twice earlier, this isn't possible. Company is too big to be asking the boss about attending a house party. (several thousand employees) It's hotline or bust if I were to do it.
 
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