Is smiling important?

[FortunateSon]

When making eye contact with a woman you're attracted to is it better to smile? For some reason I can make eye contact, but I can't seem to smile. I just don't smile.

I only smile when I'm happy and apparently I look unhappy or angry when I'm not smiling despite the fact I am not unhappy or angry.

Am I supposed to walk around permanently smiling or something? I wonder if I come across as mentally unstable to women?

 

[apprenticedj]

I honestly have the same problem! :crackup:

Yes you need to smile. First make eye contact and once it's returned give a nice normal smile. Nothing over the top, no need to look deranged buddy!

If that smile is returned then I'd say a pleasant "hello" is in order.

 

[NewJack]

Smiling in these scenarios is for people who are really, really comfortable with their sexuality and/or themselves. You would be holding yourself to a high standard of comfort and self-harmony to demand a smile from yourself, and forcing it would be wrong for a number of reasons, which I'm sure you already are aware.

I can talk about more philosophy and history than anyone would care to know, and go into great depth on a lot of intellectual subjects - but at some point I realized that things like smiling, dancing in a carefree way, being open and easy with people, just enjoying the simple sensations of myself and my body - I realized that these would be lifelong paths for me to walk and challenges for me to enjoy. I will never be at the level of a vivacious, easily flirtatious guy - I am too heavily loaded with intellectual/emotional/spiritual stuff for that groove to come easily. But we can all make moves in whatever directions we choose.

Those of us who are not carefree, dancing, basic-life-enthused types, will always have to study and respect those who are, and try to learn ways to approach that kind of groovy way to be. Likewise those who are carefree, if they want to learn about the stuff we know about, will find it a difficult and lifelong path for them to approach wisdom and self-containedness. [EDIT: You may not think of yourself as wise and self-contained, but compared to most people, you probably are.] I'm assuming that all reading this will tend to be more analytical/neurotic/self-contained types, thats why we choose an intellectual medium to help discover our sexuality.

A lot of our pain comes from trying to imitate or hold ourselves to the standard of, people who are fundamentally different in their development trajectories. An analytical guy becoming "High School cool" doesn't really make sense. Its like those mythological creatures with the head of one animal and the body of another; those creatures don't exist in the wild, and some of our 'alpha' concepts don't exist outside of Pickup boards. But I digress.

 

[Vekhematu]

When you first make eye contact, crack a smile.

Like this.

Not this. :nervous:

 

[Atom Smasher]

I practiced this about 2 years ago in order to find the sweet spot. When I smiled like this I think I came off as a douche (I sure felt like one).

I found that a reserved smile is the sweet spot. For me, it's an uneven, smirky smile, showing friendliness but a masculine reserve.

Now I need to work on my body language and stop doing this:
:rock:

Just kidding... couldn't resist...

 

[thatfeel]

NewJack always has the best posts.

 

[FairShake]

I usually half smile, like one side of my mouth is smiling. My eyes don't react as much as a normal smile either. I think it shows I'm friendly but not overly so. Seems to work. I save my genuine smiles when someone else shows they are friendly.

 

[escaleraroyal]

No if u do Apoc Opener

 

[betheman]

smile more with your eyes than with your mouth

 

[foreverAFC]

if you arent good or comfortable with smiling, just give them a casual nod without the smile, its better than just looking away

 

[foreverAFC]

Smiling in these scenarios is for people who are really, really comfortable with their sexuality and/or themselves. You would be holding yourself to a high standard of comfort and self-harmony to demand a smile from yourself, and forcing it would be wrong for a number of reasons, which I'm sure you already are aware.

I can talk about more philosophy and history than anyone would care to know, and go into great depth on a lot of intellectual subjects - but at some point I realized that things like smiling, dancing in a carefree way, being open and easy with people, just enjoying the simple sensations of myself and my body - I realized that these would be lifelong paths for me to walk and challenges for me to enjoy. I will never be at the level of a vivacious, easily flirtatious guy - I am too heavily loaded with intellectual/emotional/spiritual stuff for that groove to come easily. But we can all make moves in whatever directions we choose.

Those of us who are not carefree, dancing, basic-life-enthused types, will always have to study and respect those who are, and try to learn ways to approach that kind of groovy way to be. Likewise those who are carefree, if they want to learn about the stuff we know about, will find it a difficult and lifelong path for them to approach wisdom and self-containedness. [EDIT: You may not think of yourself as wise and self-contained, but compared to most people, you probably are.] I'm assuming that all reading this will tend to be more analytical/neurotic/self-contained types, thats why we choose an intellectual medium to help discover our sexuality.

A lot of our pain comes from trying to imitate or hold ourselves to the standard of, people who are fundamentally different in their development trajectories. An analytical guy becoming "High School cool" doesn't really make sense. Its like those mythological creatures with the head of one animal and the body of another; those creatures don't exist in the wild, and some of our 'alpha' concepts don't exist outside of Pickup boards. But I digress.

new jack i sense you are a practitioner of martial arts, am i correct