SolidGold said:
Hey all.
So here's the thing: I'm falling for this girl and I have a feeling that she has feeling for me too.
But, and I know this for sure, her friends don't like me very much and are trying to convince her that I'm a bad seed.
And it seems they are getting what they want because, at first she always gave positive signs but now she looks like she has double personality (sometimes she's all nice to me but the next day she's all cold shoulders...).
What do you think I should do?
This is one of those situations where you don't want to go in and refute what her friend are telling her. It's a catch-22: if you refute it she won't believe you (as far as she's concerned, ALL guys would say the opposite), AND you'll be calling her friends liars at the same time, which would mean you're insulting them, which she may take as you insulting her judgement of picking friends.
When these situations arise, you have to play hardball. Instead of disagreeing with her (thus denying her feelings), you input the idea that, if she's feeling a certain way towards you or is acting different around you because of her friends, that you have no problem jumping ship. Here's an example of what NOT to do:
HER: Yeah, so I don't know if I should be around you... my friends say you're a player and that you drink a lot.
YOU: But I'm not a player! I don't have any other women! I only have eyes for you, and I really don't drink a lot, honest!
Sounds like begging, so even when you're proving her friends wrong, you come off like a p*ssy. Here's an example of what would be better:
HER: Yeah, so I don't know if I should be around you... my friends say you're a player and that you drink a lot.
YOU: Funny, I didn't know your friends were with us on our dates...
HER: They're just concerned about me, that's all...
YOU: Well, if you and your friends think I'm no good... eh, no biggie. I can just date someone else.
HER: Um... you can?
YOU: Yeah - I don't want you feeling all uncomfortable about the situation. I mean, I know I'm a good dude, but hey - if you don't trust me, it's not going to work
HER: But... I mean, I didn't say I trust you...
YOU: Yeah, you kind of did. But hey, no worries - I was hoping to get to know you better so that we could make our own judgements about each other without interference from others, but it's whatever. Welp, gotta go - have a good night! (Walk out)
HER: (Sitting there confused like "what just happened?")
Now, if she really DOES like you, she'll either chase after you at that moment or hit you up later to try and re-ignite things with you. If she doesn't do it, though, it means she was just using her friends as a smokescreen for her lack of interest in you. Either way, you should always be indifferent to whether or not a girl wants to be with you. The dreaded one-i-tis is a horrible disease that makes men focus on one chick, while forgetting that there are BILLIONS of other girls out there to choose from that will want to be with them, regardless of what their friends or family say. Heck, my Mom married my Dad despite her Mom absolutely hating him (and he was a nice guy) because she just liked him that much.
Don't fall for the whole "friends hate you, so she hates you" trick. Plenty of women are in relationships with abusers, jerks, and other types of bad men, yet they stay with them despite their friends' disapproval. If they like you, they'll be around you regardless of everyone else's opinion. Hope this helps!
