"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Is she tryin 2 get in my pants or what?

l23

Don Juan
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Hey,
so there's my friend's gf, cute and a nice body. the 1st time we met was brief n more like "hey it's nice 2 meet u", very short. The 2nd time we met, within 10mn, she tells me I'm her fav of all her bf's friends, n she got to hang out w/ the other guys a lot. so the 3rd time which was on sat night at a house party. Her bf was singin karaoke, so she stayed w/ me almoost the whole time. At some point she tells me that I look good, that she likes foreigners, n tells me that she'd do me if it wasnt 4 her bf. we kept chillin for a while n then i went to chill w/ others. after, we talk again n she ask me if fi was gud in bed. I laughed, n said she'd only find out if we hav sex, which we wont cuz she hhas a bf. then she tells me to ask her bf if I can borrow her. I just laughed. Around the end, he bf lifts her up, she gets down n asks me to lift her. Since my friend (her bf) was there I just smiled n said I'm not strong enough, n she said "r u saying that I'm fat", which she obviously was not, n I was like "no, u just got a phat ass, pretty hot and tempting". She giggled. Then her bf 4got his coat inside the house n told her to come w/ him. She didn't. We stayed outside n she said "I like the fact that u like my ass, but he(bf) likes her boobs more". Then she asks what kind of boobs i like, n asked if i liked hers. I said that they r nice n she asked me to feel them. I just told her that they look gud. After that her bf comes back n we leave.
I have no intention of doing her even thoug she's cute. I just wanna know what u guys think about it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
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If you dont know the answer youre a retard.
 

Dannyrt34

Master Don Juan
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Yeah, if you like your friend at all I would stay away from her. She sounds like a hor. In fact, maybe you should even tell your friend what she's doing, I doubt she's a relationship kinda girl.
 

Drewskie

Senior Don Juan
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Dannyrt34 said:
Yeah, if you like your friend at all I would stay away from her. She sounds like a hor. In fact, maybe you should even tell your friend what she's doing, I doubt she's a relationship kinda girl.
yeah, if she is that forward with you, I can only imagine how she acts around guys who aren't her bf's "friends". If he really is a friend, I would find a way to tell him his girl's a ***** without making him think you want her. Or... if he's more of an acquaintance, hit it then tell him afterwards.
 
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