Is she really depressed...or did I get dropped.

[drake]

So my girlfriend told me that she is depressed, hates her job and needs to figure her life out. "take a time out" she called it. So she emails me a few days after we started the "time out" and says that she has put herself on a schedule to get things done and she is looking into master programs, basically trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Saying she has neglected things in her life for too long. Then she ends it with I love you and miss you.
She is almost 26.......im 24 almost 25. We have been dating for about 1.5 years.

Now, is this legit?? Could she really be struggling and need time on her own "without me" or is this BS. I was considering it a BREAK UP but then she emails me and acts like we are REALLY on a break. Is this girl out looking for another dude (or has one in mind already) or did she just really need me to step aside so she can get her life back on track?

Im confused.

 

[johnny_chase]

Ohh, the break. I hate that. Girls love that word. "we're not broken up, we're on a break". This is the funniest thing, a girl i know is doing the same thing to her bf.

What i gather from it when they say it is that they're confused, and need to sort themselves out. Just sit tight for two or three more days, then ask her to go out for coffee or something, and tell her how you feel. 1 and a half years is a long time, you should feel honest with each other.

One thing, she could be evaluating whether she wants to spend the rest of her life with you or not, i.e: things arent moving along fast enough for her taste. Find out what she wants from u

that's the best i can do off the top of my head.

-------edit-------
i just did a forum search. Yo dude, this girl, is this the same one you've been going on about for the last seven months? Your ex? If it is, what she is doing right now (on her "break") is deciding if she wants to settle with you or not, deciding if she can do better. Now, 1 and a half years of history dont mean ****. You got back with her, and she has the hand in this. She knows that if she leaves you'll come crawling right back for more.

It's been on and off. This girls is not the right one for you, and she is wasting your time. If there is this much trouble, she isnt the right one. Period. That's what you need to know. Tell her things arent working and MOVE ON, before she has the chance.

 

[belividere]

this is confusing. To be honest though she has come to a crossroad in her life. She needs to change things and part of it is that she doesn't want to date you, or needs a break, then she probably wants to break up with you. Some where in her head she is probably associating your relationship with her being off track. I dont know your relationship but have seen this happen to a lot of friends and myself included. I've had their ex's and my own exes telling me how that was a bad decision and they wish they would have stuck around. You know what though, it was their decision and that is what matters. If she is the type that all of the sudden just realized that life is slipping by she is most likely the type that talks about doing stuff and then doesn't. I know to many people that try to do this and want to completely change their world. They already created their world though by not creating it and getting back up is hard. She may succeed and power to her if she does, I mean at least she wrote a list. She also may just end up more depressed realizing it isn't easy and want you back. If it comes to that then don't go back. She will do it again and again. Maybe she is serious though and wants to change. Ask her if she honestly sees you in her new life. If so support her, if not at least you know.

 

[MetalFortress]

I would think that an interested girl would look forward to her time with you to take her mind off burdens like that, not push you away as if you were also a burden (unless you really ARE a burden...) I wouldn't get back in.

 

[johnny_chase]

metal makes a good point. If you were an integral part of her life, she would want your opinion into what her choices should be, not toss you out.

 

[drake]

......

Well, I see it both ways like you guys have mentioned. If she really loved me, why would she leave me? At the same time, she may need all her effort on figuring her life out seeing as that should be the most important thing to any one person.YOURSELF.

I can picture me starting to date other girls, then the ex(?) says I thought we were on a break?

I dont know if this matters.......but do you think that she REALLY is down on herself since she is almost 26 has a bachlors degree and is a coctail waitress. She would always complain about this, but would do nothing about it to change careers.

I dont know

 

[johnny_chase]

yo, i emailed you

 

[dig it]

Alll excellent points, which i think by now you have read.

My two cents. I've been where you have been. And i have been in situations on either side of the divide.

One thing springs to mind. And this is most probably undiluted fact. This is all meant to help you by the way, take positives from this.

1. You have not been good enough to keep this girl. If you dont beleive that, then why is she having doubts about you...why are you the 'baggage' she is trying to get rid of in this troubled time (she wants less problems after all). Ok. And therefore why are you not the one she is turning to for support and strength and as someone to help her through this troubled time. Its simple. You have not done enough to be that person for her. If you two were having great sex, and she is happy around you and you are a bright point in her life, then man, she would not be doing this to you.

Thats the crux of the matter.

How do you be that person?

Is it worth it?

Well, is it worth it? NO BLOOOOODY WAY MAN! No way on earth.

Why would you even want to be around her in this time given the feelings she has for you?

So do what the guys said....ditch her...tell he first that you dont think she is currently good enough for you, and you hope it will change, but for now you are going your separate ways....and in fact, given your past with her, just break it up and suggest no getting back together.

Then: you know you may want to get back together with her, she doesnt, she may suspect.....but you are going to go out and see other people, hang with your buddies and chat up women and have fun in all walks of life....

being with her for 1.5 years, well you will probably run into her again ofcourse, and just practice dj principles....man this dj stuff works for short or long term stuff...its what women want....become it.

So....ditch her, get on with your life....make HER come back to you by being indifferent to her, and by showing her you are having a great time without her...leave her sort out her own mess....you dont have to help.

You are emotionally involved...well you are going to have to make a logical decision to attack illogically. And that is you best chance....remember nothign is certain, its all chance, some better than others....but dont wait around for her, live while you still have the chance.

Good luck.

 

[johnny_chase]

booyaka sha! Well said dig it. This is about as good as the advice is gonna get on this topic, i think it has been beaten to death.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

yeah I'm with johnny and the rest who said to just break it off. It's not worth all this drama. I think she's just being an attention ***** and a drama queen throwing this **** in your face. She's not being fair to you, so all bets are off. Don't feel guilty about seeingo ther people now.

 

[Fenderules]

What i gather from it when they say it is that they're confused, and need to sort themselves out. Just sit tight for two or three more days, then ask her to go out for coffee or something, and tell her how you feel. 1 and a half years is a long time, you should feel honest with each other




yeah do what he says, then if not, break it off and tell her she is either with you or not....simple. she cant have her cake and eat it 2. its not fair TO YOU!