Is she playing mind games?

[xenten]

I'm bewildered by this. I don't go chasing a lot of girls mainly because I'm on campus all day everyday and do not have time but I am draw to this girl. Anyways, we met in bad in September. We've chatted a lot and I've kino'd (not sure of this punctuation) since the first time we talked. ~3 weeks ago, we went to lunch. It was raining so we shared an umbrella and I put my arm around her to stay close to the umbrella. Also rubbed her leg near her knee when I was taking her home. She didn't budge my hand and she appeared to have the best of time when she left with a big smile on her face.

Last week we chatted a little and she asked about me touching her and gave what I thought were playful responses but I have deleted the messages. On a side note, we both are taken.

I asked her to hang out again but she got sick then another time I never heard back from her. She sent me a message I realize now I might have been a tad pushy before. I'm not exactly sure what to send back to the message I received. I was expecting no message at all and for her to remove me as a facebook friend.

Current facebook message:
Me: "Hi. Hope all is well. If you do not wish to be friends it would be nice to hear rather than be ignored. You're kind enough to have the decency to tell me. If it has anything to do with me not responding to your message Saturday night, I got wrapped up in my project. For that, I apologize. If I do not hear back from you it was a pleasure making your acquittance."

Her: "Sorry for the delay in response -- I spent all night in Moody Tuesday night and didn't get online at all yesterday except for two seconds before my jury. It's not that I don't want to be your friend, but I can't help but feel uncomfortable because you did act inappropriately, whether you believe you did or not. The fact that you seem to think your actions were completely appropriate makes me feel even weirder about it, you know? Surely you can understand why I would feel this way."

If you can help please chime in. Don't respond with anything that doesn't help, such as bashing me for cheating.

 

[terran2k]

now that you sent that apology, she's going to hold that **** over your head. Kinda always be in an awkward state because you cannot touch her. you're gunna be wasting time with her from here on out. If you are not going to her see daily or weekly. just tell her goodbye in your own words

 

[Pierce]

You can't touch her??? she is weirded out for you touching her?

Do you want to have an intimate relationship? Or do you want to be her friend.

From the way things sound you probably can't get an intimate relationship so if this is what your looking for then next her.

If you want to be her friend then be an AFC. Apologize for your actions and tell her your sorry.

 

[Iceberg]

Current facebook message:
Me: "Hi. Hope all is well. If you do not wish to be friends it would be nice to hear rather than be ignored. You're kind enough to have the decency to tell me. If it has anything to do with me not responding to your message Saturday night, I got wrapped up in my project. For that, I apologize. If I do not hear back from you it was a pleasure making your acquittance."

Why are you showing her that this minor brush off bothers you? If anything, I'd have recommended proceeding as normal. Now she's in a defensive position, having to explain her absence to you.

Your message to her basically says, "You ignored me and it hurt my feelings."

That doesn't help your cause.

 

[xenten]

Your message to her basically says, "You ignored me and it hurt my feelings."

I thought the opposite when I was sending it but it is on the line of childish in my eyes right now. After what I thought was playful messaging I thought I could throw her in the 'friends zone' but her reply was different than what I thought.

I've been out of this game for quite some time so I guess I'm seeing what works for me. This may (don't want to be too pessimistic), fail but it's about experimenting to see what works, right?

Thank you all for the insightful words, I appreciate it. I will see what happens the next time I see her and see if I can come up with a decent response to the message.

Edit: One more question. This sentence bothers me: "the fact that you seem to think your actions were completely appropriate makes me feel even weirder about it, you know?" Should it? I feel as though I should apologize again but that is wrong.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Edit: One more question. This sentence bothers me: "the fact that you seem to think your actions were completely appropriate makes me feel even weirder about it, you know?" Should it? I feel as though I should apologize again but that is wrong.

My god no. Do not apologize again. Call no more attention to the argument.

You said your piece. She said hers. Move on. Continuing to apologize is just gonna make you sound like this kid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpC5_RQeG7Q

 

[betheman]

no more texts, if you see her again, smile and wink, walk on...

 

[Joe Stud]

J- I feel for you. i hate those chicks that call you out on stuff, and call your actions "inappropriate"... when you are just being your playful self. I avoid those types like the PLAGUE.
You could do the very same actions with another HB who is a good sport (or more into you), and she would say: "Oh Jmooney, you are such a crazy ball buster"!
Do as the above fine DJ's advised: No more texts, be a bit aloof (too busy to chat, NOT VINDICTIVE) when you run into her... or just next the miserable wench!

 

[xenten]

Thanks! This makes me feel better about not messaging her.

I appreciate the help.

 

[Joe Stud]

any updates?

 

[joe henny]

ARE YOU KIDDING??? SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU NOW MOVE ON!!!

Get off her nut sack man your obsessed