Is she playing hard to get? What to do?

[jnMissouri]

It’s like every time we take two steps forward, she moves one step back. Then if I pull back, she re-engages after a few days and we take another two steps forward then one step back. We did this recently flirting in the office. She would come by to flirt/talk with me, get me hooked, then I would start going to her desk to do the same. The second time I did that though she pretended like she was busy and declined, yet when I pulled back, she started slowly giving me indications that she was still interested, escalating until it was blatantly obvious and I went after her again a few days later.

That dance culminated in me getting her number, texting her, asking her out, etc. I joked with her about earning points with me to go out and she said why do I have to earn points? I said if you don’t want to hang out that’s fine with me. She said, you never asked me out, and I’m not interested in having to earn points to get invited out places, that’s not the way it works.

So I invite her out, she says yes until…I give her the date and time. She goes silent for almost a day, (just like I did when she replied to my first text to her), texts me the next morning right when I get to work, saying she can’t – no other details. I foolishly responded I knew she would do this. Not the worst thing to say, since it wasn’t a why, or come on, but not the best. I wish I would have just gone silent, which is what I am now. I never got a response back, though she has started doing the same things she did after the last time she went cold.

Looking back at our history, she shows a lot of interest, moves two steps forward, then just before she goes cold, gives me strong signs she is into me, then moves back, but eventually re-engages when I go cold. I’m wondering if playing it cool and not texting her is the best move at this point until she texts, or wait for her to reengage at work, or what? Going out this week is out, so I might as well play it cool. I think she will re-engage at work, possible via text. It’s the pattern of this little dance of hers.

 

[Fugitive]

She's f*cking with you. She wants you to be a challenge. That means you're a good catch. If she flirts with you and you just rollover for her then you're no longer a challenge she has you in the palm of her hand.

Go no contact on her. When she comes back blow her off. If she comes to your desk then blow her off tell her you're busy or pretend you need to go out of the office for 5 mins. The whole time keep your confidence up i.e. be happy and joking with other work mates. It will drive her nuts that she hasn't got you in her palm anymore. She will step up her game. At that point you let her in but don't go overboard by going to her desk or asking her out. If she ever pulls you up on it and says why you being cold then just play dumb. Don't be honest about your feelings because that will f*ck it up.

Not 100% but I'd argue don't ask her out again. Try dating other girls. Eventually she will realise that she f*cked up not going out with you and its up to her to set up the date if she wants it to happen. If it does happen then do it on your terms. Don't flake on her because then she will do to you what you're doing to her right now and that's using her flake to control her.

 

[jnMissouri]

She is like a clock. I noted the exact interactions from when she has been hot and cold each time and there is a definite pattern. She moves two steps forward, then when she thinks she has me, one step back, but with a strong signal right before that she likes me, then suddenly, for no reason, completely cold. Then we move two steps forward again, and one step back, etc. She definitely is running game. She always ends interactions with me first too, before I can!

First day after going cold, some eye contact evaluating for effect, tries to turn away before I notice, etc. Second day, completely cold. Third day, starts coming forward again and if I reciprocate but don't escalate, she will escalate until I escalate, and we move two steps forward again, etc. Right now she is already coming forward again, she tried to walk by several times today and was def not as chipper as when we were talking, same as last time. She walked by several times in 10 or so minutes when there was no reason to. First two times she walked by absolutely no eye contact.

Third time she walked by, it was an obvious attempt to re-engage, in that she had her head turned to my office BEFORE she even reached it ( could see her reflection), walked by, asked me how its going very nervously, was trying to hold eye contact but was clearly nervous. Furthermore she did not stop to talk or wait for my response, and she was very nervous, it was almost as if it was a guarded attempt to reengage because she knows she mucked up, and she was starting the conversation again, but was afraid I would reject her since I have not texted her since that one text two days ago (lesson learned by the way, it would have been better to say NOTHING and let her stew as to WHY I went completely silent).

My plan is still to wait until after the day of the date passes, then Sunday text her that I think she should cook me dinner since she didn't counter offer.

I'm shooting for making her think she lost me by waiting until the date passes, and giving her some hope a few days after making her sweat it. The only concern about texting her Sunday is that since I didn't text her back until the next day when she texted me back first sunday I texted her, she will wait until Monday to reply.

She actually turned that around on me already by agreeing enthusiastically several times to go out for the activity I had picked, then waiting until the next morning to respond after I told her the date and time, with a mere "I can't". As such, I wonder if it would be best to wait until Monday when we are at work, because this way I can assess for affect. On the other hand, talking to her outside work hours has an advantage, and she could always wait to respond Tuesday as well if I text her Monday.

I thought about the jealousy angle, but that can backfire real fast, right now she is turning my own game around on me, and I don't want to go there with her doing that to me too, and from what I have read, and looking back to past experience, pulling back for a while is the best thing to do, then coming forward again when she doesn't expect it and jealousy is quick to backfire in most situations. If she gives you some hints of coming forward herself so much the better, but the hard to get game is a test after all to see if you are weak pretending to be confident (AFC would give up), are needy (oh come on, why can't you come, let me text you 10 times a day) and making sure that you are not just after an easy lay (one egg vs millions of sperm, her burden to rear the child, not mine, etc.). I do know she is jealous when I talk to other girls and she shows it, so maybe not necessarily show I'm dating other girls but show I have other prospects if I need to escalate.

Funny thing is, I actually predicted in my notes and I think in another thread that she would go cold again all of a sudden, she has a pattern...

I'm wondering what she will say to the cooking me dinner idea above. I suspect it will be something like you have to cook me dinner first.

 

[pyros]

just stop over-analysing everything with this girl, you're obssessed.

Do you know what you should do?

1- if you like the girl, ask her out. (you already did, she was not into it)
2- if she cant or flakes at the last minute and does not couter-offer:
2.1 Forget about her or ask her out again a week or so later. If she cant again you forget about her.


And that's it. Apply this to this woman, and to all women. There is no secret technic that is gonna make her want to su-ck your dic-k all of a sudden.

This woman is clearly not interested. All the "signs" you comment mean nothing cause...she did not want to go out with you.

Stop analysing these "signs". If you like a girl apply the procedure I wrote above, end of story. This will simplify your life and make you happier, instead of thinking about every small interaction you had, the way she moved, if it was rainy or sunny...

P.S.
Playing hard to get means SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. If she was, she would be available to meet, willing to see you etc etc. I repeat, playing hard to get or getting mixed signals means she is not interested in you but she likes to play with your head and gets satisfaction out of it.

I guess you're gonna keep 'pursuing' and obssessing over this woman, but in time (or years LMAO) you will realise that what I wrote is the way to go.

 

[Bingo-Player]

she knows that you find her attractive and is not afraid to loose you

an extremely dangerous combination and i would not attempt to go any further with this woman because to put it bluntly she has already won

by the sounds of things women can read you like an open book

so you need to close that book and work on becoming more mysterious

 

[nismo-4]

just stop over-analysing everything with this girl, you're obssessed.

Do you know what you should do?

1- if you like the girl, ask her out. (you already did, she was not into it)
2- if she cant or flakes at the last minute and does not couter-offer:
2.1 Forget about her or ask her out again a week or so later. If she cant again you forget about her.


And that's it. Apply this to this woman, and to all women. There is no secret technic that is gonna make her want to su-ck your dic-k all of a sudden.

This woman is clearly not interested. All the "signs" you comment mean nothing cause...she did not want to go out with you.

Stop analysing these "signs". If you like a girl apply the procedure I wrote above, end of story. This will simplify your life and make you happier, instead of thinking about every small interaction you had, the way she moved, if it was rainy or sunny...

P.S.
Playing hard to get means SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. If she was, she would be available to meet, willing to see you etc etc. I repeat, playing hard to get or getting mixed signals means she is not interested in you but she likes to play with your head and gets satisfaction out of it.

I guess you're gonna keep 'pursuing' and obssessing over this woman, but in time (or years LMAO) you will realise that what I wrote is the way to go.

OP read this again!

Your princess is in another castle! Move on, she already did!

Case closed.