"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Is she mine!?

N1ghtStr1ke

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Hey all! I've been a recent reader on this forum and just decided to register. I need some help here. Just some bg info, I'm 18 in my senior year of high school. And I am definitely an amateur with girls.

Now this is long so please bear with me.

At the beginning of this year I met this girl who is in a few of my classes. We started studying together outside of school and then became pretty good friends, and are good friends I'd say. A couple weeks ago I asked her to our schools winter formal, and she said yes! :D so that made me happy and we are both very excited to go together. 
We've continued hanging out, going ice skating and watching movies both in the theaters and in the basement. We have cuddled and just felt really close. We text quite a bit as well. Though, I have not kissed her. I just can't seem to find the right time to and i want it to be a good kiss (even though I've heard that most 1st kisses are awkward but whatever).
I just hope she doesn't lose interest or anything and if I don't get the chance before, I'll definitely do it at the dance at some point.

But the kissing isn't the main reason for this post. Now I understand girls have lots of friends, which includes guys also.. Obviously if we were dating, I wouldn't worry or wonder so much. But she always seems to bring them up when talking with me. This girl has had a few boyfriends in her past and even is still friends with them. Shes like oh I'm going to pick up "so and so" to go sledding or whatever. I just say oh cool or something along those lines. I need some advice or input on this.
Is she trying to make me jealous? Am I just a friend to her? Is it a combination of both or just something else?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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mr_guido

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Hey man,
It sounds like you've started out on the right foot with her so far. Good work on connecting with her.
As for the kiss, first kisses aren't always awkward unless it's your first time ever kissing a girl! And if it is, well, just relax. You'll know the right moment, she'll give you a 'look' that you will eventually learn to recognize with ease. When I kissed for the first time with a certain girl, it was when we were walking alone, and we stopped and she looked deep into my eyes, which is when I went for it. It's hard to explain what that look is but like I said, you'll know it when you see it.

I've been in your situation a good number of times. You feel like she likes you but you're not totally sure. I say, if you feel like the two of you are close, that means you're picking up on something that she feels for you. So go out on a limb. Kiss her, be physical. The girl I'm with right now has mentioned guy-friends or her last-bf a few times but never in ways that show she has major feelings for them or anything. Usually girls will do this to look cool, or try and attract more attention to themselves from you. Don't worry about it, you're not friendzoned or anything. Just be yourself and be a little more into her and show her what you want :D
 

N1ghtStr1ke

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Thanks for your reply, and advice! yeah it will actually be my first kiss -.- hopefully i dont miss the opportunity.

hmm interesting about the guy things though. Yeah I just need to progress it some more.
 

LearningSlowly

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N1ghtStr1ke said:
Thanks for your reply, and advice! yeah it will actually be my first kiss -.- hopefully i dont miss the opportunity.

hmm interesting about the guy things though. Yeah I just need to progress it some more.
For my first kiss, I sat through an entire movie holding hands. Leaned close to her sometimes, but we didn't kiss until ten minutes or so left.

Just recently I kissed a girl and I don't think she expected to kiss me on our first date.

Maybe there's a balance to be found there, but this new way is working well for me so far. Just go for it dude! Then you get to run back here and tell us some good news.
 

mr_guido

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N1ghtStr1ke said:
Thanks for your reply, and advice! yeah it will actually be my first kiss -.- hopefully i dont miss the opportunity.

hmm interesting about the guy things though. Yeah I just need to progress it some more.
No problem man :D I hope I was of some help! So yeah, just relax, go for it, and tell us how it goes. Good luck!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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N1ghtStr1ke

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LearningSlowly said:
For my first kiss, I sat through an entire movie holding hands. Leaned close to her sometimes, but we didn't kiss until ten minutes or so left.

Just recently I kissed a girl and I don't think she expected to kiss me on our first date.

Maybe there's a balance to be found there, but this new way is working well for me so far. Just go for it dude! Then you get to run back here and tell us some good news.
Haha, Very nice! I just need to make that first step, in general.

She's actually going to NY for a few days, so it would be after she comes back that I bring some news hehe :p
 

mr_guido

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N1ghtStr1ke said:
Haha, Very nice! I just need to make that first step, in general.

She's actually going to NY for a few days, so it would be after she comes back that I bring some news hehe :p
Remember, the first step isn't always actuated on her part. Sometimes it will totally be up to you to make it or break it :) Sometimes it will have to be one of those spur-of-the-moment things, which, I've found in some cases, can win her over more.

Regardless, let us know how it goes! :rockon:
 
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